ZMOG – the wedding of the century is upon us. And very, very soon! According to sources Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will be getting married on May 24th in Paris. Poor France.
"It won't be a huge wedding," a source reveals to People. "Around 150 people." Daughter North, who turns 1 in July, will play a prominent role in the ceremony and it's pretty much certain it will be aired on Keeping Up With The Kardashians or some sort of E! Special. Kim hasn't decided on a dress yet, but hopefully her fashion sense improves in time for wedding gown shopping, cause yea – no.
"[I've shopped] a little bit, but I really need a good sit down to plan it all out," Kim revealed.
Do we know the whereabouts of the Bling Ring? Really, are they in jail? Filming a new season of Pretty Wild (I loved that awful show #sorrynotsorry)? Collecting Hollywood paychecks as residuals for the major motion picture that was made about them? The authorities in Calabasas, California may want to find out what that crazy gang of kids has been up to as of late because someone has been ripping off the Kardashians.
Both Khloe Kardashian and sisterKourtney have been robbed recently…and the instances may be connected. Quick, someone call Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson because this could be a job for them (totally obsessed with True Detective when I'm not watching reality shows!). Seriously, it is odd that both sisters were targeted by criminals at the same time.
Kim Kardashian and Pimp Mama Kris Jenner stopped off in Vienna last night to earn a little coin, but things went awry and Kim may not see her full $500,000 date night fee! The poor thing.
The Keeping up with the Kardashians star swooped into Vienna to attend the Vienna Opera Ball as the date of businessman Richard Lugner, for a hefty fee of $500,000. Kim ticked off Lugner right from the start when she had her KUWTK camera crew in tow and ditched him to do some filming at a nearby restaurant. The whole day was off schedule and he let the media know how unhappy he was. "Kim is annoying me. Because she's not sticking to the programme. She's filming and so she doesn't want to have me around. The guest should be with me and not anywhere else that is not agreed upon."
Then Kim ducked out of her dance duties and made Richard dance with Kris instead! Kim's lame excuse? "I'd rather watch the dancing."
In this week's photo roundup we haveKim Kardashian and Kanye West out and about in NYC, Snooki showing her cowgirl moves, and the Mob Wives celebrate JWoww's birthday with her. Bethenny picks up Bryn, Kourtney and Scott go on a date and the Vanderpump Rules cast celebrate the finale together.
Bad Numbers: 2.072 million fans watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians this week. That's a 500,000 drop from last week's over-hyped proposal show. Part two the Shahs of Sunset reunion garnered 1.044 million viewers. Do you think Shahs of Sunset will return with a season average of 1.272 million?
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You know, as much as I blame Ray J for the whole Kardashian kerfluffle, I don't think Ryan Seacrest is totally without fault. After all, the E! mastermind keeps renewing their show season after season and promoting their shenanigans every chance he can. His most recent infraction occurred when he had Kim Kardashian on his radio show yesterday to talk about what she claims will be her "super, super-small intimate" wedding to the tiny rapper.
While we're on the subject of Keeping up with the Kardashians star, some yahoo is calling Kim the "Marilyn Monroe of our age." Yes, you read that right…and for once it's not Kanye West (even though he's made that lame comparison in the past). Do people just throw around Norma Jeane's name without knowing anything about her? Kim is nothing like Marilyn…and would she even want to be? What a tragic life.
Imagine…someone in Canada thinks Keeping up with the Kardashians is too crude. Are we watching the same show? Obviously, I'm being sarcastic, although I am not at all surprised by the dirty mouths on Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim, nor do their thong pulling, underwear sniffing, breast leaking antics shock me in the least. How sad is that?
It all started with a "knock knock" joke courtesy of Lord Scott Disick on Keeping up with the Kardashians that aired on October 23 in the middle of the afternoon. He and Kourtney spent part of the episode using donuts and carrots to simulate a certain sex act. Keepin' it klassy, those two! I guess I should give you the warning that there may some offensive jokes and/or language after the jump…you know, the warning that the Canadian version of E! forgot to issue before the episode in question!