On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we saw the final installment of the Thailand vacay. Kim Kardashian continues to believe kids are fashion accessories and momentarily contemplates taking a Thai orphan home. Brody Jenner puts his protective big brother panties on and Khloe Kardashian opens up more about the disaster she once called her marriage..
Things kick off with a group boxing session. Khloe may or may not be visualizing the instructor is Lamar’s cheating a$$. She is a machine. Everyone is impressed and applauds her strength. Brody and Kim feel Khloe should quit kicking the instructors a$$ and just tap his a$$ instead. Kim decides it’s her turn in the ring after all she wants people to clap for her too! Apparently she doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, and instead opts to ding the bell. Everybody claps Kim’s big achievement.
Kim Kardashian seems to be incapable of letting anyone be the center of attention and have a moment in the sun. Today the Keeping Up With the Kardashiansstar posted this photo of herself basically naked, wearing only pantyhose, with her wedding veil held over her head by some peasants.
You’d think this photo had something to do with Kim showing off more pictures from her wedding. But it isn’t. It’s actually a Happy Birthday message for Kanye West’s BFF Riccardo Tisci. Yeah, the two things go together and make perfect sense, right?
Waaaah! Having all of mommy and daddy’s money and connections isn’t making Kendall Jenner happy, y’all! The model complains that the Kardashian name actually makes people not take her seriously. Um… duh?
In fact Kendall claims that she conquered the fashion world without help (not even from Kanye?!) and wanted to separate from her famous family. “I was like, ‘You know what? I want to be high fashion. I want to be taken seriously…People think that this just came to me. But it didn’t,” Kendall said.
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star continued, “What I have has almost worked against me. I had to work even harder to get where I wanted because people didn’t take me seriously as a model. Because of the TV show.” Quit the show, perhaps?!
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest
Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
There is always another Kardashian product to be hawked!
Kris Jenner, the pimpmomager matriarch of America’s first family of famewhore is now releasing a family kookbook! In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites will hit shelves in October and will show you how you can eat to get that famous Kardashian derriere!
“I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris explained. I’ve only seen Kris cook once on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but I’m sure the family’s favorite restaurants are donating some recipes. Seriously – whenever they are eating on the show it’s takeout or in restaurants or complete crap convenience food (like Kim always eating Ramen Noodles!).
So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…
Blessedly Kim does have daughter North with her, although North seems to be spending most of her time with the nanny while Kim suns herself and photoshops bikini selfies. Yes, Kim, we know you photoshop your twit-pics!
Below are photos of Kim doing some topless tanning in an itty-bitty-butt-implant-baring yellow bikini. Isn’t tanning counter-intuitive to all the botox and fillers?
This is rich. In fact, it’s amazing. Not only does it involve one of the hottest (in my opinion at least) reality stars, he’s making quite a statement. Brody Jenner, thank you for making my day.
Remember when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West married in a ridiculous spectacle complete with one of the Pinkett-Smith children dressed in a Batman costume? Of course you do, it wasn’t even 72 days ago! Well, think back to who wasn’t famewhoring withKeeping up with the Kardashians during the country hopping shindig. No, I’m not talking about Rob Kardashian being a no-show. I’m talking about Brody’s dreamy mug basically snubbing his step-sister’s third wedding. At the time, I thought, Maybe he doesn’t like weddings? But alas, he went to one last weekend…and it was for Kim’s ex-love Reggie Bush. I told you this was amazing.