File this under things I never saw coming. According to reports, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are set to tie the knot this week. No, that is not the shocking part. The shocking part is that they are doing it without fanfare, in a small hush-hush secret ceremony in California.
Apparently the megastars — and parents to baby North — filed for a 'confidential' marriage license, meaning that they are so special, they do not have to even make an appearance at the court house in order to get the license. Instead, an official from the court will go to their house and perform a secret ceremony at their home, or Kris Jenner's home, or wherever they are having the ceremony. Well, at least it was a secret.
Dear Diary, Remind me never to cross the Kardashians (any more than I already have, at least). They always come out on top. Deserved or not (it's usually the latter, right?), the family always seems to get their desired outcome in any given situation.
It's no different this time around with the Keeping up with the Kardashians stars. The children of the late Robert Kardashian just scored a major victory in their year-long court battle with their former step-mother regarding the attorney's personal diaries that had some not so nice things to say about his ex-wife Kris Jenner.
File this one under "should have seen it coming'. I am surprised that is has taken this long for pranksters to starting playing with the reality royalty that is The Kardashians. And Kris Jenner is planning on putting a stop to it, asap!
According to TMZ, Kris Jenner is convinced that a group of pranksters is out to humiliate the stars of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and give the entire family a bad reputation by planting fake stories, impersonating them on the phone and even making fake reservations at some of the top restaurants in the world — making them persona-non-grata when they are a no-show for their reserved tables.
But the guilty parties better start watching their backs — cause Kris Jenner is on the case!
While apparently not comfortable posing without any clothes on the momager extraordinaire does not mind posing and posting swimsuit shots to her Twitter and Instagram accounts with hopes of inspiring other 50-something women to not be ashamed of their bodies. "I love to work out, and I love to feel like I'm in shape, and I like to feel good about myself," she said. "Like, last summer, I posted those bikini photos because I thought it was so inspirational for someone in their 50s to have some motivation and say, 'Wow, you know, anyone can at least try to put a bathing suit on.'"
Kris Jenner went on to squash some more rumors surrounding the lives of the Kardashians.
It's all a numbers game for those krazy Kardashians…the number of viewers, the number of random items they can slap their names on, the number of spin-offs we continue to watch while we complain about how many spin-offs they have, the number of random Instagram videos posted by Kim–not to mention the number of million dollar weddings one person needs to have! Yes, you can kount on the Kardashians to like their numbers (bad pun…sheesh).
Of course, if we're lucky, it could be a numbers game for us too…as in the number days we can pawn Kim and the tiny rapper off on France (sorry, Paris!). If Kim and Kanye West are not above the law–granted, that's a big "if"–they may be moving out of the country for a while. Fingers crossed! I'm sure Beyonce wouldn't be sad to see them go either as their Vogue cover is on track to outsell hers. This must be stopped! Stop buying April's issue of Vogue for goodness' sake!
Khloe Kardashian has certainly kept us guessing about her love life since she filed for divorce from Lamar Odom in December. There have been rumors of a reconciliation with Lamar — NO KHLOE, NO! — and she was spotted bowling and clubbing with rapper, The Game.
Now the latest round of rumors involves another rapper, French Montana. Keeping Up With the Kardashians star Khloe was first spotted with the handsome rapper at the 16th birthday party for Diddy's son, Christian on April 4th. Which was also attended by Khloe's little sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner. When the party was over, the night was not for Khloe and French Montana as they headed to a nearby airport. But where were they going?
Good gracious. This whole Khroma Beauty thing isn't going to go away. The Kardashian sisters slap their names on anything and everything imaginable, and the one time they decide NOT to use their name is the one time the poo hits the fan. When Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe introduced their Khroma cosmetics line, the brand's parent company Boldface was slapped with a cease and desist by the real Kroma.
After the Florida based make-up company Kroma sued the Kardashian's Khroma for trademark infringement, the Kardashians changed the line's name to the oh, so original name Kardashian Beauty. However, Khloe wasn't happy about it…to put it mildly!
So what's the big reveal? Elementary, my dear Watson! I've determined that Kim is just being a stellar fiance to Kanye West. All of this Instagram craziness is just her way to make us all realize that the tiny rapper's Bound 2 video is an actual work of art. I mean, compared to Kim's latest postings, it is…right? Slow clap, Kimmie. Slow. Clap.