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Keeping up with the Kardashians

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My good gracious!  Another Kardashian post so close to Christmas?  I must be on the naughty list this year.  I'll be honest, I'd rather receive a lump of coal than to have to pontificate on this fake family during the holidays.  I do it for you, dear readers.  You mean more to me than my disdain for this crowd.  Isn't that what Christmas is all about?  You're welcome.  ;)

In today's news, Kris Jenner is trying to maintain her now faux marriage to husband Bruce despite a ridiculous amount of divorce rumors circulating in the media.  Also, sources are claiming that Nick Cannon was also a victim of Kim Kardashian's infamous sex tape.  I can't wait to hear the chain of information that led him to this conclusion! 

Finally, Bruce is opening up to the media about his ties to Newtown, Connecticut and the Sandy Hook murders.  While typing that makes me want to vomit (let this community grieve without reality television intervention!), it's what he's talking about now.  I used to like you, Bruce, but I've lost all respect if you're trying to maintain relevancy in light of this horrific event.  Sidebar, and this has nothing to do with this blog, but from here on out (sorry for the soapbox) will we please refer to the Sandy Hook shootings as a mass murder and the man that took those innocent lives (I won't give his name more credence here) as a murderer?  I read a compelling article the other day that noted in school shootings the public regresses to words like "shooter" and "victims" instead of using "murderer" and "slain" or "dead" in these types of tragedies.  If someone killed a gas station attendant, we'd call it a murder, why don't we say that now?  Off my soapbox and onto the Kardashian kraziness.  I taught first grade for several years, so I am a tad raw at the moment…as no doubt you are. 

Moving along (so, so sorry for the rant!), Kris is determined to make sure that her failing marriage doesn't drown the empire she's created around her children (notice I don't say the empire created FOR her children).  What won't this woman do?

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Kardashian-kristmas-kard

It's that all-important special time again – time for the Keeping Up With The Kardashians Kristmas Kard! Behold: it's splendiferous, it's Kanye-less, and Kourtney looks thinner than Kim although she had a baby like last week.

I think Kris Jenner may be there? That very young and sassy woman sitting next to Kendall with the Pat Benetar hair cut is confusing me…

So congrats Photoshop you've worked your miracles again. 

[Photo Credit: E! Online/Nick Saglimbeni/kimkardashian.celebuzz.com]

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS YEAR'S KRISTMAS KARD? WHERE'S KANYE?

 

 

You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right?  Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner.    I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media.  We all know she's really good at that!  These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold.  They are daughters, not brands!

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2012 is rapidly, rapidly coming to an end and before the Mayan Apocalypse claims us all make sure to catch up on all your 2012 reality TV marathons. Who doesn't need a 50th viewing of the infamous "Who gon' check me, boo?" argument.

In honor of the year coming to a close let's celebrate some of the best, craziest, and most entertaining reality TV star products to hit the market this year. 

We all know there's only one reason to appear on these shows right? Product hawking!

Below is Reality Tea's list of the best products of 2012: 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE LIST! 

The Kardashians rarely (ok, never) keep anything private. And joining in on the family's favorite extracurricular activity of making anything a publicity stunt, Rob Kardashian has taken to Twitter to discuss his relationship with ex-girlfriend Rita Ora

Among the scathing allegations the Keeping Up With The Kardashian star and wannabe sock mogul makes is accusing Rita of cheating on him with more than 20 guys! Uhhh… this is really something for twitter? Anyhoodle, let's take a look at Rob's public whining. 

Getting around the 140 characters rule, Rob posted a series of tweets beginning with: “When a woman cheats on you with one man I can live with that. People make mistakes, trust me. I have forgiven numerous times…”  

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I don't mean to be redundant, but I know I've said this before…bless Kim Kardashian's heart.  Seriously, bless it.  Not only does the mere mention of her name make people in the states automatically get a rash, now the Middle East is creeped out by her as well.  That's got to be a tough cross to bear, and I don't even care for her.  Yet I feel badly…must be the holidays.

As you all know, Kim has been touring Kuwait and Bahrain touting Millions of Milkshakes.  I'm sure President Obama is super excited about the amount of diplomacy that's happening with that situation!  Anyhoo, I'm sure poor Kim was thrilled at the opportunity to promote the dairy treats on the other side of the world while wearing the finest couture from the Kardashian Kollection and the tiny rapper's new shoe line.  Little did she know she'd be welcomed with protests and discord.  Of course, we probably all figured she would given her recent controversial (and likely clueless on Kim's part) tweets, but she was totally sidelined by her less than stellar welcome.  Damn you, Twitter!

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Yawn.  It's like the most dramatic rose ceremony Kim Kardashian divorce ever.  How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage.  Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce?  I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes.  The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene.  Never had a cavity!

What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides.  It is this:  The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show.  Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either.  You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage.  Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument.  :) 

All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance.  We watch your show, Kim.  You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris.  Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool.  Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it.  It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing.  Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!

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Egads!  A post where I actually have to exercise sensitivity…and about Kim Kardashian and her tiny rapper no less!  I guess now that it's officially the holiday season, I need to practice more kindness and goodwill, right?  Well, here it is.

While we were gorging on leftovers and shopping for major deals, Kanye West was facing a heartbreaking anniversary…five years since the death of his mother Donda West after plastic surgery gone horribly wrong.  Kanye, who has been fiercely protective about his mother's memory, has finally found a woman with whom he wants to share that part of his life.  That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me.  After the couple spent Thanksgiving with Kim's family, Kanye whisked his lady love to Oklahoma City to introduce her to his mom's family and visit Donda's grave site. 

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