So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.
First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.
Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jennerpsychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.
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It seemed like everyone on the East Coast this weekend dedicated their Memorial Day to grilling meats and seeing Beyonce in Atlantic City. Kim Kardashian, never one to shy from a bikini photo op, made it in, to make a few dollars at a random hotel pool, and also actually saw the concert. She used her Kanye West connection and got backstage and hung out with the queen.
Some random PR person from the Kardashian camp, aka a random ‘source’ tells US Weekly that the girls get along just fine: “Kim thought it was such a great show. “There’s always some random rumors there is tension between them and there totally isn’t! Kim had so much fun.”
From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”
The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.
Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!
Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!
Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!
Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!
The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along withKylie andKendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!
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We’ll start with the fakest news. Kim has decided that her expertise in sex tapes qualifies her to be mayor of Los Angeles. Considering how many politicians have been in sex scandals in the last few years, Kim might actually fit in better than you would expect. In an unaired clip from her reality show, Kim tells sister Khloe Kardashian, “I decided…I’m gonna run for the mayor of Glendale…but it’s gonna be in like five years.” Kim is confident it can happen because the town is heavily Armenian and so is she! You can check out the video of Khloe and Kim discussing her totally real plans at Radar Online.
In more serious news, a source is claiming Kris Jenner is ruining Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s by lives by not letting them attend college. Do they know what college is? Just kidding! They do know what post-secondary schooling is; their siblings Kourtney and Rob did actually go to school.
The source says:
“Kris is ruining Kylie and Kendall‘s lives by not encouraging them to go to university. They both have expressed an interest in furthering their education but Kris is constantly shooting down the idea. She thinks if the girls go away to school, they will miss their window of opportunity and the public will forget about them.”
Kris wants the girls to get a reality show instead. To be honest, reality TV is more profitable than any college, so making the girls do a television show is a sound business decision.
And finally, I saved the best for last! Kanye re-titled his “Theraflu” song where he name-drops Kim and calls the new one “Way Too Cold.” A source tells US Magazine, magazine, he “has been genuinely head over heels for [Kim] for a while.”
However, he’s quick to point out that he never compared Kim to Beyoncé, like a source once claimed. He told US Weekly, “Come on now, that doesn’t even sound like me,” and advised that fact-checkers should review his lyrics and social media account to verify any claims out there about him. “If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.” I have the same philosophy, so understand Kanye’s pain.
TELL US: WOULD YOU VOTE FOR KIM? DO YOU THINK KRIS JENNER IS RUINING HER DAUGHTER’S LIVES?