Ladies and gentlemen, put on take off your sunglasses and step into the shade. However, I must warn you, this is a scepter and weave-free zone! In case any of y’all were worried that hell was in the process of freezing over or that pigs may begin to sprout wings, Porsha Williams wants to assure you that the Kenya Moore hug on this past episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was nothing short of fake…like Kenya’s hair according to Brandi Glanville (although I am pretty convinced from Krayonce’s latest appearance on WWHL that while she may be crazy, she is #blessed with a beautiful and natural head of hair. Don’t be hatin’, ladies!).
After that more than tumultuous reunion, Kenya and Porsha have finally hugged it out–at Kenya’s prompting, no less!–in an attempt to put the past in the past. But did we viewers really buy it? Nope. And Porsha wants to make sure we all know not to buy what Twirl is selling!
Last night reinforced an important lesson on Celebrity Apprentice, if you’re classy – reality TV is no place for you. Just a reminder: this recap, of course, contains spoilers so don’t read if you’ve been avoiding the internet like the plague for the last 24-hours.
The women’s team contains: Brandi (reality mega-villain and best selling tweeter about what she does with her twatter), Kenya Moore (Former Miss WHO-S-A, who had a Scepter App hidden her purse so not to violate the anti-props contract stipulations), Leeza Gibbons (talk show host), failed reality star Kate Gosselin (minus her 8 and the tumorous bunion known as Jon), Jamie Anderson (a former Olympic snowboarder with a long history of legal imbroglios who has the same plastic surgeon as Brandi – face. does. not. move.), Vivica A. Fox (hoping to resurrect her acting career by playing evil), Shawn Johnson (a former Olympic gold medalist who thinks social media usage qualifies as a legitimate career. Was she on DWTS?), and Keisha Knight Pulliam (formerly Rudy of The Cosby Show). The women’s team is infinitely more diabolical and interesting than the men’s team, but I suppose they came out and tried to play, so we have to talk about them.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta things were shocking, in the invisible fence way. Invisible fences are harder to climb over, as the ladies found out.
Cynthia Bailey had a dream and that dream is rapidly becoming a nightmare. Because Cynthia is going into business with Peter to open the new Bar One!
Misguidedly, Cynthia is honored that Payday Loan Peter, chose her checking account and she will no longer be a silent fibroid, but a living, breathing bank account. The delusion: it runs deep – certainly deeper than the zeros in ol’ CB’s savings account. Who does Peter think he is married to – NeNeLeakes?!
Cynthia has a dream and that dream is that people do not believe rumors about how she finances all his foolish shenanigans and he married her for a TV show, free vodka, and VIP strip club access.
It’s sober month for Andy – only water in the clubhouse for him in January.
Andy reads the quote from tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice when Geraldo Rivera said “Imagine being married to Kenya! You’d be sleeping with your eyes open.” Kenya says “well, he’s had what, five wives?” And Kenya addresses giving Keisha a hard time about not calling Bill Cosby for a donation, she explains that the show was shot almost a year ago – long before the controversy with Bill bubbled over.
Andy then shares that he was cut from tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice segment at the pie shop, and he’s glad because he only brought $1,000 with him and everyone else was bringing huge money. I’m also fairly certain I read that Andy shared in his book that the pies tasted terrible…
Tonight is the premiere of Celebrity Apprentice, thus dubbing Sundays Krayonce Day! (Sorry Downton). Donald Trump, who already called Kenya Moore “evil”, dished that this season’s cast is vicious and will shock audiences with their bad behavior. So just to get this straight: the behavior is worse than The Donald’s hair.
Donald says of all the seasons, season 14 “is the one where they have hated each other the most.” The cast which includes, Brandi Glanville and Kenya, butted heads constantly. “It’s a level of hatred I’ve never seen.”
“I think it was a great move on NeNe’s part to get everyone at the table to lay a foundation for a more peaceful existence. There was a lot of emotion and even more history sitting at that table, and it’s going to take a lot of work on everyone’s part to get along,” Phaedra says.
“Whenever there are conflicts like this, I think it is important for each person to recognize what the others are and are not capable of,” Phaedra continues. “If you understand a person’s limitations, and adjust your expectations accordingly, there is a much greater chance of success.”