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Kim D

“Do not let her win this time. You win by doing nothing.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 9)

“She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 10)

The fight club scene of the Real Housewives of New Jersey aired last night and it definitely lived up to the hype. Perhaps this episode was a gift from Bravo, you know, for putting us through one of the most boring seasons ever of a housewives franchise.

I started watching the episode just ready to feel sorry for Danielle. I mean I just knew I would end up feeling sorry for Danielle, who after all was going to be attacked, oops I mean assaulted, by Ashley Holmes, but within the first 10 minutes of watching the show, I quickly realized that would not be the case. The reason? Well you’re just going to have to read the recap :)

So the episode begins where Bravo left off 2 weeks ago, with the Danielle and Teresa conversation turned confrontation. I tried to give Teresa the benefit of the doubt two weeks ago, thinking she perhaps meant well in trying to talk to Danielle. But after watching the events that unfolded, it’s pretty clear Teresa’s intentions were to stir things up. Even Teresa herself admitted on WWH last night that Danielle had been going around town spreading rumors about her, and she intended to confront Danielle about those rumors.

The confrontation continues and evidently in New Jersey, Paterson to be exact, “Don’t call me honey,” are fighting words. Watching this scene made me see Teresa is a whole new different light. I always knew she wasn’t the brightest bulb of the bunch, but her behavior made her appear extremely immature and downright moronic. The excessive head twisting and “Don’t forget girlfriend, I’m from Paterson,” comment was beyond ridic! Is this woman serious? Surely she jests.

Things take a turn for the worse when Danielle uses the F word. In case you’re wondering, the F word stands for Foreclosure, at least when it comes to the housewives of Bravo. Danielle, perhaps referring to the foreclosure story that came out about the Giudices last year, tells Teresa her home is in foreclosure, and boy o boy, did she unleash the kraken! The truth foreclosure comment hit a major nerve with Teresa, and Danielle decides to start running for some odd reason. Really, why is Danielle running? Teresa, being the Paterson badass that she is decides to chase after Danielle.

Back to the foreclosure story. Danielle was actually correct, well sorta. A story came out last October stating Teresa and Joe’s home was in foreclosure. It however turned out the foreclosure was for a property they owned and not for their mansion. What’s even more interesting? Well according to police documents, this “fight scene” actually took place on November 11th. Just 2 weeks after Teresa and Joe filed for bankruptcy on October 29th. This might explain why Teresa went nuts with the comment. You know what they say, the truth hurts. This also makes me think the whole housewarming party took place sometime after the bankruptcy filing, yet before the Kim D fashion show, which if true, is quite unbelievable.

Now back to the show. I was certain I was going to feel sorry for Danielle because Teresa was the aggressor and instigator this go around. However, her over the top acting, antics, and just all around hysterics were extremely ridiculous. I mean seriously Danielle? When you think about it, there wasn’t a change in Danielle’s behavior and reaction before and after being attacked by Ashley. Teresa decides to pick an argument and that means she needed to take off running? I ask again, why was she running? She even had a bodyguard with her. Teresa and Jacqueline never touched her, so why the hysterics?

Well I’ll tell you why. Danielle is a perpetual victim who relishes in playing the victim role. Some people aim to be survivors while others accept the victim role, and get very comfortable in it. Danielle is the later. And speaking of roles, did you know Danielle has an acting background? Yes, years before embarking on a porn career, Danielle was an actress and even had a tiny role on the ABC soap – All My Children. Caroline said it best when she later told Teresa and Jacqueline, “She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.”

The best part of the show comes in the form of the random blonde lady for yelling out, “This is such f*cking bullsh*t,” right into the cameras. Someone please get this woman a reality show asap!

Danielle is now outside and hysterically crying because having a co-star and former friend yell at you during an argument calls for hysterical crying. The third best part of the show comes when Kim G. tries to calm Danielle by yelling at her, “Calm down!” All that was missing from this scene was a calming slap across the face ala Airplane.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE RECAP! -

More drama this week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The episode starts off with Caroline Manzo auditioning two of her sisters to be Dina’s replacement. No, just kidding! But oddly enough, the two sisters look more like Dina than Caroline. Albie’s law school dilemma is brought up and Caroline shares she is at a crossroads in her life, as her kids are now getting older and getting ready to move out of the house. It seems Caroline, who has devoted her entire life to her kids and family, is now starting to realize it’s time to start stepping back on the mama bear role.

Teresa and Jacqueline meet up for lunch with Kim D. who does her best Kelly Bensimon impression when she utters a “Hiiiiii” as she walks in late. And did you know Kim D. and Kim G. are sister in laws? Yep I just found that out today. Definitely puts things into perspective. Teresa brings up a good point when she asks Kim D. if she can be trusted since she talks about Danielle behind her back, only to turn around and hang out with her. Kim D. invites the ladies to her fashion show and informs them Danielle will be in attendance. Jacqueline is hesitant to be in the same room with Dirty D (excellent nickname given to Danielle via our awesome commenters), while Teresa seems on-board.

Next up is New Jersey’s equivalent of Kelly Bensimon, except Danielle, even at her worst, still seems very sane in comparison to Kelly. Danielle shares she’s received text messages from 16 ex-cons people informing her that Kim D. has invited her enemies to the fashion show. Dirty D then storms into the Posche boutique and demands to see Kim D. Danielle immediately decides the front desk lady, Donna, isn’t bowing down to her, thus causing her to storm out of the store. Danielle proceeds to once again involve her young daughter in her adult issues via a phone call. Danielle then decides to head back into the store and commands Donna to have Kim D. give her a call. Donna has the best reply as Danielle storms out again: “Didn’t catch your name.” The only thing missing from this scene was Danielle screaming out a ‘Don’t you know who I am!’

Kim D. returns to the store and calls Danielle, who accuses Donna of being rude to her and putting up her finger at her. I went back to watch the footage and at no point did I see Donna raise a finger at Danielle. Dirty D then proceeds to return to the store to stir up some more drama. When Kim D. doesn’t bow down to her, she threatens to stop shopping at Kim D’s store because it would “ruin” their friendship. Perhaps someone should inform Danielle the only reason Kim considers her a friend is because of her wallet. Kim D. realizes she no longer has to pretend to be Danielle’s friend, you know since Danielle is no longer a paying customer, and politely kicks her out of the store.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE RECAP! -

With the departure of Dina Manzo, life goes on for the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

We start off this episode with an awkward dinner or lunch or something between Caroline, Teresa and Jacqueline. The ladies discuss Dina’s exit from the show and of course Danielle’s name is brought up in the conversation. The only part that stands out in this scene is when Caroline says, “I feel so bad for Dina. She’s going through so much.” Come again Caroline? Dina’s going through so much? Like what exactly? As we the viewers haven’t been privy to any of Dina’s problems, infact we have been led to believe Dina’s life was all unicorns, lollipops and rainbows with the exception of the Danielle drama.

I thought Caroline’s comment was interesting to say the least. Reason #192 by the NJ cast sucks? Well thanks to the ladies focusing on the Danielle drama so much, we don’t get to hear about or see their own personal issues and drama. The ladies decide they need to watch out for Danielle because “she’s capable of anything,” and the dinner/lunch/brunch or something scene ends.

Next up is Danielle‘s visit with a plastic surgeon. Was I the only one who noticed some lights were out on the sign for the plastic surgery office? Not sure that I would be putting my life on the line in what looks like a motel reject but Danielle is more than ready to fix her wonky tits, so she will take the chance! And thanks to the now infamous sex tape she made before this revision surgery, we can all affirm her boobs were indeed deformed.

Danielle then once again breaks out her her boo hoo story about feeling so undesirable due to her wonky tits, and I can imagine a good percentage of viewers are rolling their eyes at this point.

We then get to see Lauren Manzo doing makeup at her makeup school, and overbearing mama Caroline of course pays her daughter a visit. Don’t get me wrong, Caroline seems like a great mother, but she just appears to be way too involved in the lives of her children. It appears she has nothing else going on in her life other than her children and family. At this stage in her kids’ lives, it might be time for Caroline to began pulling back, and perhaps work on finding a hobby that doesn’t involve her children. Someone commented a while back, saying they already feel bad for Caroline’s future daughter-in-laws, and can’t say I disagree.

Ashley decides to pay her parents a visit and apologizes for her bratty behavior at the poker game. Ashley informs her parents she wants to come back home, which I think is great, because she had no business living on her own to begin with. She simply lacks the maturity needed to make it on her own at this point in her life.

Next up is Teresa and she informs us she is having a housewarming party for her new home. We finally get to meet nutty party planner Elvira Grau, who immediately scolds Teresa for not having help or a pool for that matter. Something about Teresa was off this episode. She just seemed a bit more laid back and more quiet. I’m guessing this was filmed at the peak of her financial problems. When you think about it, Danielle made her sex tape in September 2009, before her visit with the plastic surgeon in this episode. Teresa filed for bankruptcy in October 2009, meaning this episode was definitely filmed right before or right after the bankruptcy filing.

Back to the show, Teresa and Elvira have an interesting exchange.

Elvira- Why don’t you have a pool?

Teresa - (Awkward pause) Because I have a beach house. (Quick thinking there Teresa!)

Elvira - I have a beach house, I have a pool.

Elvira once again scolds Teresa for not having help, and at this point it’s pretty obvious Kim D. and Kim G. are not the only ones auditioning for Bravo. It however seems Elvira has her sights set on something bigger than just the Housewives’ franchise. The annoying, rude and overbearing party planner is aiming for her own Bravo spin off!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE RECAP! -

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