Oh Lord. Who knew that stripper-gate would be the scandal of our generation? Somewhere Richard Nixon is laughing his arse off at all of this. I gave up wishing the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey would go away in the off season, but doesn't it sound like such a nice break?
We'll probably never know exactly what happened between Melissa Gorga and sister-in-law Teresa Giudice. To be honest, I don't even care anymore. At all. Of course, the women think we do, so they're going to keep talking about until the next big drama occurs. You do realize that means we'll be hearing about this until the show airs again, right? That's kind of a long way off from now. Yikes.
I know you're waiting with baited breath, so I'll get right to the point of this post. Melissa takes to her Bravo blog to answer her fans' most burning questions. It's deep y'all!
So we've made it. It's the end of Real Liars Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know about you, but I am so relieved to be done with this show. I don't know where I stand on things other than to say that I can see everyone's points as valid, but I'm tired of hearing about them.
So let's get started. We begin with Juicy Giudice still under interrogation. He's familiar with it by now, I suppose, given all his legal infractions. Caroline Manzo's comments about how Teresa Giudice will leave her husband and write a book about it if he goes to prison are revisited.
Caroline seems to be saying without saying it that editing minced her comment or took it out of context. Or perhaps she just doesn't want to admit that she said and meant it. There's so much backpedaling with these people I never know what to think. Anyway, Caroline dismisses it as a "hypothetical" and Juicy snaps that Caroline is a "know it all" She is – a very unwarranted 'know it all.'
Caroline says since Teresa is discussing her marriage with magazines, it's fair game. Andy Cohen asks about Joe admitting in Napa they got paid by the magazines, but all of the sudden it's denies, denies, denies. 'Huh? I said that? I was drunk? Whaddai say?' Joe and Teresa are masters of obfuscation. That should be their next book!
Tonight is the second installment of the reunion for the never-ending fourth season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Tonight's segment will be all about who has the worst marriage. And for those of you who are interested in seeing a bunch of grown women engage in a game of you she-said, she-said; get ready!
To celebrate the craziest, wildest, most vitriolic and least refined of Bravo's Real Housewives franchise, we've decided to put together a little list of our top most shocking RHONJ moments. Behold the greatness below.
I'll be the first to admit that I finally took a stand on my feelings for Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudice after watching that horrid first installment of the reunion. Now I may be eating my words…just a bit. A very little bit. I still don't feel sorry for her, and I think I may keel over if I ever hear her utter the words "I was wrong" or "I lied." However, now I don't feel badly for any of them. They are all a bunch of fame whores as evidenced by the new Us Weekly cover story. You have to love that they're all wearing red. I guess they got Tre's devil memo!
You have to love the hypocrisy that comes with being a New Jersey housewife. One minute Jacqueline Laurita, Caroline Manzo, Melissa Gorga, and Kathy Wakile are calling out Teresa for hawking her story on magazine cover after magazine cover (after magazine cover!), the next minute they are gracing the pages of Us Weekly (high brow…no In Touch for these gals!) and bashing their former friend. Eye roll.
In a five page spread, the women spill all the details of their fallout with Tre. Now, I don't doubt for one second that Teresa is a textbook narcissist, but how is moaning about her in a national publication going to change that? Are these ladies actually expecting her to have some sort of epiphany and change her ways? Doesn't anyone know how to take the high road anymore? Geez. Build a bridge, people!
Oh, Teresa Giudice. Didn't your very sweet mama ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, zip it? I'm guessing that old-fashioned adage came before the era of reality TV! In the days following the first installment of the circus of crazy known as the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, all eyes are on the ladies as they scramble to defend their deplorable behavior.
In a Bravo blog I'm suuuuure she wrote herself, Teresa sorta, maybe, kinda, a little bit takes accountability while also pointing fingers at others. Just to be fair – all the ladies are behaving similarly! Let's get this started.
"Like every Housewife in every city, I think filming the reunion is one of the worst parts of our job. It's a long, long day, it always gets ugly, it's hard to sit through and even harder to watch. At least this year I knew what I was walking into: I knew the other cast members, even my family, were going to band together to bash me. Last year was a total shock. This year was just sickening and sad."
"They're so desperate to make me look bad. Here's the thing: I don't care. I know who I am and I don't need to prove it to any of them. And I'm certainly not going to waste my off-camera, family time looking up words in the dictionary and making obsessive lists about them."
Can I just say, I'm watching Anderson Live, and that interview certainly didn't go as Teresa Giudice planned. If looks could kill, Kellie Pickler would be performing CPR on poor Anderson Cooper right now. Wow. It's not Teresa's morning, and unfortunately for her, I have some more bad press for her, courtesy of sister-in-law Melissa Gorga. These women of Real Housewives of New Jersey love to give an interview, don't they? I really can't believe they don't get along seeing as how much they have in common.
In light of stripper-gate, Melissa is making sure we remember just how mean Teresa is (we get it, we get it!). This time around she's talking about the "roughing up" that happened at poor G-to-the-IA Giudice's birthday party. I mean, these poor, poor kids. Shame on these ladies!
I will never understand how people can not like Real Housewives of New Jersey'sKathy Wakile. She is just so down-to-earth and (compared to her cast mates) drama free. I'll be honest, I felt badly for her during the finale. All she wanted to do was enjoy her salad!
Kathy plays the voice of reason in such a ridiculous situation. Of course, she seems just as confused and bewildered as most viewers who were watching that debacle go down.
Luckily, Kathy is trying to make sense of the madness, and she's breaking it down for us…not that she draws any conclusions. I am still so baffled by all of it, so forgive me if I come across as a befuddled mess–and I've watched the finale three times!
First of all I have to admit I spend way WAY too much time analyzing the antics of the Housewife. They are an odd specimen, aren't they? And Real Housewives of New Jersey in particular. Although those ladies leave me wanting to turn into Pinot Fabulous Singer and just get sloshied all day, I have to admit they really keep it interesting from the psychological perspective.
Which leads me to last nights FINAL season finale of RHONJ. And out it all came like projectile vomit. Except I was left with way more questions than I had to begin with. I mean will I ever get the answers I'm looking for or will I die questing to know what exactly happened at the infamous S4 Posche Trashion Show? I guess if I can ever manage to get stranded on a desert island with Teresa Giudice I might learn the truth, but until then all I'm left with is an an aneurysm from wonder and a seriously large bill for TherapyByBravo. You're paying for this right @bravo_andy?
It is not often that a Housewives show rivals that of a Shakespearean drama with so many higher level plot points circulating around. I literally feel dizzy. Bravo has truly outdone themselves, but they've also truly over done themselves and I don't think they can ever come back from the edge with this one.