Just because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that their baby won't be making its debut courtesy of E!, don't expect that to mean they want little Kimye, Jr. to have some semblance of a normal life. I'm embarrassed to say that I fell under that fallacy (just a tad, tiny, wee bit…).
Don't get me wrong. When a couple spends countless hours and photo ops trying to recreate their own version of a famous statute of Jesus (please click here and take note of how unimpressed the bystanders seem!), I am not expecting their kid to attend public school and play rec soccer at the local YMCA. However, in light of today's Kimye gossip, the child won't have time to play soccer/t-ball/ultimate frisbee because he or she will be spending the majority of time jetting back and forth across the globe to multiple houses. Oh, excuse me. Mansions.
You could feel the collective intake of air when society as a whole learned the news that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West would be bringing a mini-Kimye into the world. If you were quiet enough, you could probably hear the dollar signs ka-chinging in Kris Jenner's eyeballs. Oh, the spin-offs! The elaborate and totally ridiculously expensive baby gifts (the child will need his or her own private jet)! The publicity! The magazine covers! Did I mention the spin-offs? How are we ever going to continue Keeping Up with theKardashians if they are constantly multiplying?
Kim and Kanye's khild is already internationally famous and the kid hasn't even been born yet. However, being famous for being conceived is far better than one his or her mother is famous for, right? Let's face it…the world had the same fearful reaction for the unborn child's fate when Jersey Shore's tequila-soaked, slipper-wearing, fist-pumping, underwear-forgetting meatball, and that situation (no pun intended) seems to be working out wonderfully. Snooki has truly taken to motherhood, and most people would likely agree that it seems to have changed her for the better. I'm hoping the same for Kim and wish her and tiny rapper my congratulations.