Apparently a television personality is going to start showing the Kardashians some love…although it's more about getting talk show guests than actually wanting to play nice. Chelsea Handler is turning over a new leaf, and she's not going to be bashing the fame hungry family. That's right. She and Kris Jenner have called a truce on their public, two-year feud.
Just to maintain order in the universe, whenever someone backs the Kardashians, another person must bash them. If we don't maintain this balance, who knows what could happen to the planet? In other Kardashian news, some long lost relatives of Kris Humphries are breaking the family's silence on his never ending divorce from Kim Kardashian. His aunt and uncle are opening up on what they think of the 72 day union, as well as Kris' motives for wanting it annulled.
Sure, Kim Kardashian is super annoying, self-absorbed, and mind-numbingly vapid, but she sure does post some entertaining pictures on her Instagram. Case in point? The picture above, which she aptly captioned "Bo Derek braids." Let's discuss for a moment, shall we? Ignoring the fact that Bo Derek is likely extremely insulted (and rightfully so), I am so distracted by her make-up. And does that ring say "couture?" Anything but…she looks like she belongs on Solid Gold. Even Kanye West is so embarrassed that he has to hide his face. Oddly enough, I am kind of feeling his gold studded plaid flannel. I know, I know. It's probably just the only thing in the picture I can slightly compliment.
I've got some more Kimmie K. pictures for you after the jump…as well as an update with Kim's divorce proceedings with Kris Humphries. It's neverending. Happy weekend, y'all!
I. Just. Can't. I can't wait for the day that Kim Kardashian is forced to give Kris Humphries his annulment based on fraud. It's going to be epic. Sadly, it doesn't appear that we're going to see that happen any time soon.
Many rumors have been swirling that Kim just offered Kris a massive sum of money to finally divorce her so that she andKanye Westcan ride off into the sunset with their unborn child. Unfortunately, it appears that these rumors aren't true, and the gossip is just part of the residual mess from the beginning of their demise.
Fear not, though. Kim can't be bothered with her impending divorce/possible annulment. She's too busy posting pictures of herself "helping orphans." Yes, you read that correctly. Keep in mind that she was helping said children while wearing the mortgage for a house on her wrist. Confused? Keep reading…you'll understand.
Y'all realize that, no matter what, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere any time soon. That said, don't shoot the messenger! Actually, today's Kardashian trash is at least humorous enough to provide some sort of entertainment.
Here's a quick breakdown: Kim Kardashian doesn't want to still be married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth (but there is quite a catch!), and Kim and Kanye West maintain that Kimye, Jr. will not be a part of E!'s fall line-up. Again, I'll believe that when I see it! Finally, the youngKendall Jennerdoesn't want to follow in her family's famewhoring footsteps. Sure.
Oh, Kim Kardashian, you saucy minx! Okay, so I don't find her at all saucy or minx-ish, but I've always wanted to say that. In today's Kimye news, there is some funny stuff. Not only is having Kanye West's baby while still married to Kris Humphries causing some problems (we all predicted that, right?), but it seems that no one wants to pay Kim to lose her baby weight. Tragic!
Unlike Jessica Simpson, Kim may not be scoring a weight loss deal to shed the massive amount of pounds she's sure to pack on during her pregnancy. I'm also hoping that, unlike Jessica's two year gestation, Kim's baby will pop out after nine months so we don't have to be on pregnancy watch for the next year and a half.
As if Kim Kardashian andKanye Westprocreating wasn't enough, now there is even more disturbing news. I don't even know how one correlates with the other, but perhaps if I type it quickly, it can get out of my head equally as fast. Or not. There are just some things you can't unread.
Here goes nothing! So, now that Kimye is having an aby-bay, ales-say for her ex-say ape-tay have gone through the roof. Seriously? Nothing says "congrats on the bun in your oven" like purchasing a video of the mom engaged in some nasty, nasty sexy times. Nothing people do surprises me anymore.
Yawn. It's like the most dramatic rose ceremonyKim Kardashian divorce ever. How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage. Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce? I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes. The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene. Never had a cavity!
What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides. It is this: The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show. Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either. You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage. Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument. :)
All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings. Nothing more, nothing less. I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance. We watch your show, Kim. You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris. Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool. Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it. It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing. Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!
If Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries keep going the way they’re going, this is going to be the divorce trial to end all divorce trials. Of course, I think that is the mantra of the Kardashian Klan…go big or go home, right? Or is it go to your big home? Either way. It’s shaping up to be quite the legal battle. I don’t know about y’all but I am crossing my fingers for a televised trial.
The latest news is pretty hilarious if you ask me. Apparently, according to RadarOnline.com, Kris’ legal team never had any plans to bring up the fact that Kim moved on so quickly with Kanye West. Now I don’t know the laws in California (so someone please help me out in the comments section), but I find that hard to believe. If it were the state where I live, Kim would be flat out cheating on him as their divorce isn’t final yet. How could you not bring that up in your legal argument?