My good gracious! Another Kardashian post so close to Christmas? I must be on the naughty list this year. I'll be honest, I'd rather receive a lump of coal than to have to pontificate on this fake family during the holidays. I do it for you, dear readers. You mean more to me than my disdain for this crowd. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? You're welcome.
In today's news, Kris Jenner is trying to maintain her now faux marriage to husband Bruce despite a ridiculous amount of divorce rumors circulating in the media. Also, sources are claiming that Nick Cannon was also a victim of Kim Kardashian's infamous sex tape. I can't wait to hear the chain of information that led him to this conclusion!
Finally, Bruce is opening up to the media about his ties to Newtown, Connecticut and the Sandy Hook murders. While typing that makes me want to vomit (let this community grieve without reality television intervention!), it's what he's talking about now. I used to like you, Bruce, but I've lost all respect if you're trying to maintain relevancy in light of this horrific event. Sidebar, and this has nothing to do with this blog, but from here on out (sorry for the soapbox) will we please refer to the Sandy Hook shootings as a mass murder and the man that took those innocent lives (I won't give his name more credence here) as a murderer? I read a compelling article the other day that noted in school shootings the public regresses to words like "shooter" and "victims" instead of using "murderer" and "slain" or "dead" in these types of tragedies. If someone killed a gas station attendant, we'd call it a murder, why don't we say that now? Off my soapbox and onto the Kardashian kraziness. I taught first grade for several years, so I am a tad raw at the moment…as no doubt you are.
Moving along (so, so sorry for the rant!), Kris is determined to make sure that her failing marriage doesn't drown the empire she's created around her children (notice I don't say the empire created FOR her children). What won't this woman do?
Oh, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio…have you been cheating on me? No? Well, you've been cheating on MTV, although I can't say I blame you. You were enticed by the dimples and flashy Kardashian representation that Ryan Seacrest provides. I don't think anyone will judge you.
The acronym creating, high hair wearing, "cabs are heeya" screaming star of Jersey Shore is getting a new show…and it's not on the network that made him an international reality star and a household name. That's right. He's potentially moving on to E! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to hop to another channel for more money. I'm not hating, Pauly…I want you in my TV line-up regardless.
It's that all-important special time again – time for the Keeping Up With The KardashiansKristmas Kard! Behold: it's splendiferous, it's Kanye-less, and Kourtney looks thinner than Kim although she had a baby like last week.
I thinkKris Jenner may be there? That very young and sassy woman sitting next to Kendall with the Pat Benetar hair cut is confusing me…
So congrats Photoshop you've worked your miracles again.
Do you think former Real Housewives of New York star Jill Zarin ever really listens to what is coming out of her mouth? I don't mean that to sound ugly, but I honestly don't think she hears herself…or if she does, she has to be one of the most self-confident, yet always victimized, women in reality show history. It's almost comical.
Perhaps I shouldn't have watched her again on a Watch What Happens Live rerun, but I'll admit I got sucked into it. It's as if Jill was watching an entirely different show than the rest of us! When you read her recent interview after the jump, you'll get an even better taste of what I mean. She touts Kim Kardashian's work ethic (she's almost as hard-working as Jill herself!), and pretty much poo poos poor people…or at least people who like to shop at K-Mart. Perhaps she's never seen some of Sofia Vergara's line!
In the 2011 edition of AskMen's "most desirable" poll, Kim was at the top of the heap, ranking in at #8. This year, however, is a whole different story. Kim nearly fell off the poll entirely, landing in at #98 (out of 99)!
The site polls over 2.4 million readers, so this isn't some tiny overview of males who just happen to be over Kim. AskMen's editor James Bassil said in the press release "Kim Kardashian is petering off and basically dropping off the list at this point even as she's become more visible."
You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right? Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner. I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media. We all know she's really good at that! These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold. They are daughters, not brands!
I don't mean to be redundant, but I know I've said this before…bless Kim Kardashian's heart. Seriously, bless it. Not only does the mere mention of her name make people in the states automatically get a rash, now the Middle East is creeped out by her as well. That's got to be a tough cross to bear, and I don't even care for her. Yet I feel badly…must be the holidays.
As you all know, Kim has been touring Kuwait and Bahrain touting Millions of Milkshakes. I'm sure President Obama is super excited about the amount of diplomacy that's happening with that situation! Anyhoo, I'm sure poor Kim was thrilled at the opportunity to promote the dairy treats on the other side of the world while wearing the finest couture from the Kardashian Kollection and the tiny rapper's new shoe line. Little did she know she'd be welcomed with protests and discord. Of course, we probably all figured she would given her recent controversial (and likely clueless on Kim's part) tweets, but she was totally sidelined by her less than stellar welcome. Damn you, Twitter!