Who doesn't love listening to Kris Jenner wax poetic about just how amazing Kim Kardashian's wedding was to tiny rapper Kanye West? I know I can't get enough of it. However, I've been waiting for her to tackle the real hard-hitting issues from the ceremony and reception.
I don't care about the golden porta-potties or the tantrums, I want to know about the things that really matter. I want to know how Kris felt about Bey and Jay skipping out on the tacky affair. I want to know what in holy hell Jaden Smith was thinking when he dressed in a silver Batman costume for the event. Really? I think it's time his parents decide to actually implement some rules with their children. Uncle Phil would be sorely disappointed. Rest in peace.
The episode starts with Khloe talking about her divorce and how she is handling it. Her description of how she is dealing with it sounds a lot like denial. Khloe decides jumping on her trampoline and hanging out at Casa de Kris is the best way to combat an ugly divorce, that and constantly referencing how her va jay-jay is trying to swallow her itty bitty daisy dukes. Yes Khloe, we’ve all seen your camel toe. Side note: did Khloe just say Kim looks like Paula Abdul? Poor Paula, she doesn’t deserve that.
About Kim's wedding, Krisgushed, "It was so beautiful and magical – and that feeling went through every single person. It was just a love fest. It was the most wonderful time I think I've ever had and it's hard to explain that to somebody in words." Kris also revealed thatKim has changed her name to Kim Kardashian West. At least for the next 72ish days.
The sole Kardashian male (I'm not countingBruce Jenner– sorry!) has been battling his weight and all but disappeared from public life this year. Then he bailed on Kim Kardashian's massive wedding fiasco, very publicly leaving Paris the day before the nuptials took place amid reports of Kim fat shaming him. Butt, perhaps, Rob had a crystal ball that told him of the chaos.
And this is why I put little to no stock in what celebrities have to say about politics. Sure, they love to talk (and talkandtalkandtalkandtalk) about whatever candidate best fits their personal agenda or is en vogue with the A-listers of Hollywood, but do most of them even have a clue? At best, the extent of Kim Kardashian's political knowledge comes from School House Rock, at worst…well, this is pretty bad.
The reality star was shunned by the Obama campaign, and the President himself once referred to her now husbandKanye West as a "jackass." Classic Barack. Now, Kim is diving head first into local politics, backing California's 33rd District Congressional Candidate Marianne Williamson. So what has Kim contributed to the campaign? Money? Of course not! But she did write a boastful blog about a recent press event with Marianne.
Last weekend Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tied the knot in Florence, Italy. While the official wedding photos boasted a happy couple and the photo booth (seriously – isn't that a little passé?) boasted a bevy of D-list celebrity guests having fun, apparently the behind-the-scenes drama was straight out of a horror story! Despite costing an estimated $12 million dollars, guests called the event a giant "clusterf–k" and reportedly had a horrible time being part of the Kimye show.
Page Six reveals that there were tantrums (no, not from North or Mason!) from Kanye, huge wasted expenses and rudely treated guests and performers. Settle in – it's juicy!
– Miss Golden Showers needed her guests to pee in style. Kim and Kanye had a huge golden portable toilet erected (see what I did there) that was situated next to the dinner tables (klass!) and beside the dance floor. The monstrosity was so enormous – 49 feet tall – it required a crane to lift it into the walled fortress of Forti di Belvedere. "'Their toilet was the star of the show,' says a source. "The Italians named it the Torre di Bagni Oro (translation: the Gold Toilet Tower)."