I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for this blog post because I know I'm going to offend people with my bluntness and stupidity…even people who roll their eyes at the mention of all things Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, little KompassNorth, and the child that is most certainly NOT America's Baby.
First things first…a quick disclaimer: just because I doubt that Kim and the tiny rapper's newborn has yet to sit up, say her first word, moonwalk, or buy her first pair of Manolos does not mean that I am in any way making fun of the baby's development. That said, the founder of the Pussycat Dolls is claiming the child is already giggling up a storm. False. Not false because I am snarky and Kim irks me, but false because I took more than my share of child development classes. I don't doubt that gas is making North make some super precious faces, but she's not actually laughing.
Oh Kris Jenner! Before the ratings for her upcoming talk show even have a chance to go south, the pimpmomager is taking every opportunity to chat about new granddaughter North while on a press tour to promote her new daytime venture.
E! shares that Kris was absolutely gushing over daughter Kim Kardashian's newborn with tiny rapper Kanye West on the TODAY show. Unfortunately, I missed it as I have made good on my promise to boycott my former favorite morning show after they aired Kris chatting about breast implants instead of observing a moment of silence for 9/11. Have you seen GMA? Loves it!
As if the name North West wasn't bad enough (although I'm sure she'll be great at following directions! Ba dum ching!), the news surrounding Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's baby's arrival is getting more and more ridiculous. A push present that could pay off my student loans four times over and three birthing suites? Geez Yeezy.
Apparently, Kanye did, in fact, put a ring on it. However, unfortunately for Kim, it wasn't of the engagement variety. They'll save the wedding hype once all the attention over Compass the baby begins to fade.
To kick things off, the former Teen Mom star recaps – again – how Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom was born.
"I trusted [James Deen]," explains Farrah. "I became sexual involved with a person who turned out to be very disrespectful and did not keep things private. That's what led me to my big break what I'm dealing with."
According to TMZvia their BFF Kris Jenner, that is REALLY the name Kim and Kanye put on their baby girl's birth certificate. I know that Kim joked around a while back about naming her little girl Easton West, but Kanye wasn't on board. I'll be blunt and say that I don't believe that this is their baby's official "forever" name.
To K or not to K? That is the kwestion that I seriously doubt anyone cares all that much about! As the entertainment world runs out of K names (both common and out of left field), we are now opening up the guessing game to the other twenty-five letters. That should allow the name withholding to continue through the end of the summer!
For a week, the world has been waiting with baited breath (cough, cough) to find out what Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will name their new addition. I'll bet they make the announcement on the day Princess Kate gives birth…
Not surprisingly, this week's People has dedicated its cover to the "Delivery Room Drama" surrounding America's baby. Yes, I realize Kanye West said his daughter wouldn't be America's baby, but it's just so flipping funny. Here's the thing…was it really super dramatic?
Now, I realize that giving birth prematurely is no joke, but can I just throw out a conspiracy theory that her due date may have been misconstrued? Mind you, it's not a theory I was smart enough to concoct on my own, but I jumped right onboard. Can't you just picture Kris Jenner pressuring daughter Kim Kardashian into giving the press an earlier due date? "But Kim, just think about all the attention you'll get when you go into premature labor?" In my head, the conversation takes place in the back of a limo with blacked out windows…just like this one (an oldie but a goodie, of course!). It wouldn't be the first time the family fibbed..
But again, that's my bishy, trash-loving brain talking. Obviously, regardless of her true due date, I am happy that mother and baby are healthy.