Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.
Kyle starts off clearing up the wine tasting, “First of all, I had no idea there was going to be any wine tasting. I set up a massage for the girls and the hotel decided to go all out but I had no idea what we were doing other than a massage.”
Andy tells Kyle that Brandi Glanville was Tweeting that Kyle scratched her during their scuffle by the door. “I never scratched her. She grabbed my arm and I have bracelets that have spikes on them and when she grabbed my arm, that’s what she got. I never scratched her. I was not physically going after her, I was trying to stop her from taking my sister from me.”
Andy asks why Kim got mad between the bathroom and the pizza experience. “I have no idea and that’s what I was trying to find out.”
First of all, Kyle Richards‘ feelings of sadness when her children leave home are greater than the rest of ours because as Kyle told us 456,000 she never went to college – and she could have been a lawyer, you know, if she wasn’t a child star! Kyle should just go now – it’s not like she’d have to get student loans. Which she wouldn’t get anyway because Chanel doesn’t sell them.
I was assigned the task of naming the worst dressed reality TV stars of 2014. My first thought was, this post going to be a piece of cake. My second thought was, wait, the photo gallery has a limit of 40?!?
Of course, the union of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian was the biggest “to do” of them all, but not necessarily in a good way. From parading their terrible fashions (again and again and again) all over Paris and Florence to throwing a tacky wedding reception, it was an exhausting time for us all.
Believe it or not, eleven other couples DARED to get married the same year as KANYE WEST. If you search, there’s probably an epic, egotistical rant on the internet about it. Anyway, the “other” wedding ceremonies, receptions, dresses ranged from tasteless to exquisite, and everything in between.
What can be said about last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll say plenty – but did that actually happen? Did an Emmy-award winning actress really get a glass of backwashed wine thrown in her face by a desperate divorcee on a 10-year drunken meltdown? The answer to that question is unfortunately, yes.
Other things happened leading up to the white wine wash – it started with the last glamorous, happy, successful woman Brandi Glanville insulted on every level – Lisa Vanderpump. Brandi looked nice at that lunch, as if she played Invasion of the Body Snatchers with Yolanda Foster.