Accomplished actors have to be complete chameleons in order to to suspend reality for the audience and portray their characters. We don’t watch Rosemund Pike pretending to be Amy Dunne in Gone Girl….we are drawn into watching the craziness that is Amy unfold on our screens. To be honest, it was hard to come up with that analogy…one, while I am not opposed to a Ben Affleck full-frontal, I have yet to see Gone Girl (couldn’t put down the book though!), and two, all the Oscar nominated performances I watched this season were stories about real people, not characters. I didn’t want to sound trite or callous by comparing an actor to the true person he or she portrayed. So a Rosemund Pike/Gone Girl example it is! It’s a tough job, y’all.
Why am I even talking about actors and their craft? Well, because of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, of course! Actors must become storytellers, and I sometimes forget that Kim Richards, before she was the mess we see on Bravo, was quite the actress. I so wanted to be her on Escape to Witch Mountain, and I’m not ashamed to say that I own the entire Magnum, PI series on DVD. Kim is an actor and a storyteller, and she told one doozie of a story on this week’s RHOBH!
Speaking to E! News about season two, Jackie shared, “If you’ve seen season one my friend, I certainly have not changed anything. I always keep it real, I’m always very straightforward. I could probably swear a little less. It sounds much nicer in another language, like I usually swear in, but when you swear in English it sounds a bit more, uh, bloody awful.”
“I am going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names,” blogged Brandi. “If you watch, you’ve already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.” I suggest y’all grab a drink and a snack for this mess.
Brandi compared the reactions to her “tossing an inch of wine” vs. Lisa Rinna “heaving broken glass at people’s faces.” “HORRIFIC – Tossing an inch of wine while ‘play acting soap opera’ was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave,” said Brandi, exaggerating. “It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.”
Lisa Rinna is rarely at a loss for words. Last night, we learned that if we’re ever in a room with her when it happens, DUCK. Or, if you’re Kyle Richards, run for cover as dramatically as possible. Cape flying in the wind and all.
“Have you ever put a bunch of ingredients in the blender, hit power on only to realize that you forgot to put the lid on, so it sprays everywhere?” asked Lisa. “This is exactly how my brain feels after this episode. There has been so much going on and so much building up that finally everything has just exploded into a million pieces.” And the pieces somehow landed in Kim‘s pants.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills things officially went to the dark side. Kim Richards lost her marbles in a cesspool of deflection, hysterics, and venomous rage. Don’t fear the reaper, or the coming of wrinkles, fear the KimKillah – who will bring the wrinkles and the emotional eating out in force!
Can I snark at the total break from reality I just witnessed? Eh – I’m going to, so don’t you worry your pretty little heads – or you may need Botox!
As soon as the ladies check into to their Amsterdam hotel they are met by the reassuring presence of Lisa Vanderpump and Eileen Davidson, walking into the unknown pit of Kingsleys. Lisa Rinna calls them “a lifeboat.” Sadly, they will prove to be as effective as the Titanic lifeboats.
Immediately Lipsa fills them in on the time Kim ruined her experience riding on the YoDa Aeronautic Private JetPlex and she was put off the two bites of artisinal crullers she was about to indulge in – only because she heard they were artfully glazed with a natural form of botox made from a very rare fish found only in the Nile River, deep in the Heart Of Darkness. “You know,” purred Yolanda Foster, “It’s the only way I ever consume sugar.”
About thescavenger hunt, Brandi gushed, “Not just any scavenger hunt, but a Beverly Hills scavenger hunt on Rodeo Drive. Well, hey, it’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, so why not? I personally thought it was a welcome change and a chance to have some fun and share it with the fans. Despite Yo’s health, she is a really positive, uplifting spirit, and I am thankful she brings fun to our group.” Ha. At least until someone orders a chocolate milkshake.
Kyle was forced to work together with Brandi on Yolanda Foster‘s UnAmazing Caloric Consumption Race. Kyle was the only Housewife who was excited to drink a milkshake and admits she got “unexpectedly into” the scavenger hunt. Unfortunately… the scavenger hunt turned out to be the HIGH POINT of the group’s adventures to Calgary and Amsterdam.
“I had to laugh, because all the women were tortured to have to actually drink a shake! Hehe!” Kyle joked. Yes, particularly Yolanda – she’s probably in a Hyperbaric chamber for PTSD treatment over almost tasting chocolate.
“The Fantastic Race was fun. Sort of. The idea of a scavenger hunt with teams was great and intentions were in the right place, but you let some Housewives run loose on a hot day in the streets of Beverly Hills with specific rules to follow, and sh-t is bound to hit the fan,” Lisa said about Yolanda Foster‘s scavenger hunt. “Complaints ran amok, rules were broken, a lot of dairy was consumed, and tour buses were hijacked. But what can I say other than I was more than happy and willing to support Yolanda. Congratulations to Eileen Davidson for holding her team together and pulling off the win.” No. Easy. Feat. with Kim.