We pick up at Kyle Richards’ gay singles mixer and let me tell you, if there is one thing that unified the gays in that room it’s that they were all: “HOLLA we never have to end up tied to one of these crazy broads!” Then they retreated to a corner, made good use of the free drinks, and watched the single almond dinner show, because as we learned last night women of Beverly Hills think indulging in a hot dog shared three ways is a treat.
Kyle wants Brandi and Kim Richards to leave – obviously because they have sucked the air out of a party already about dry spells – but Kim just sits at some table in the mood-glow lighting like, ‘I don’t want to leave it’s my by-proxy party cause Kyle is my sister and I can ruin it if I want to!’ Brandi hauls her out, after reminding her that Kyle is not her sister, which jerks Kim to life, cause – Brand is right!!! Huh?
Outside Kim complains that Kyle was trying to “force” Brandi to spill secrets about her life and wanted to embarrass her. Oh, and Kyle is to blame for everything. Brandi and Kim are a toxic mess.
“Remember not so long ago when some of you were asking when Season 5 was going to really get the Crazy Train in motion? Well, that Crazy Train is moving full force through Beverly Hills, and it doesn’t appear to be slowing anytime soon,” Lisa reflects.
“There are times when I’m enjoying the ride, times when I’m pissed off, and times when I’m just plain dumbfounded by what’s going on,” Lisa admits. “The bottom line is, I’m always looking for the best way to deal with what comes my way.”
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
I know Lisa Vanderpump is busy running Pump, running interference on the SUR staff, arranging flowers at Villa Blanca, and being all around the most fabulous person on the planet to get away with magenta and jade colored satin (only she can!), but I’d like to suggest she teach a class on how to be a Bravo housewife that people want to watch.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has proven time and time again that she’s classy but not stuffy, snarky without being gross, professional but not rigid, and condescending without being…well, she’s just good at being condescending, and I love it! Many of her counterparts on the other franchises could certainly benefit from her wisdom! This season, she’s distanced herself from drama, but not enough that she can’t passive aggressively comment on it. We’re seeing more of her family time, and she’s just viewing the insanity from a distance. Clearly, she’s gotten her fill of crazy on this season’s Vanderpump Rules! Her take on this week’s episode is no different.
Eileen wins the episode:Kyle Richards and Brandi Glanville scream at each other and she quips, “I do not know how to make that better. What do you do? Get a hose and hose them down?”
Eileen wins the internet: “I have to first address one thing: the words ‘reckless’ and ‘you should be disappointed in yourself’ should never, EVER pass the lips of Brandi Glanville. Unless she’s referring to herself. THAT IS ALL.”
Brandi Glanville took to her blog to apologize for her incessant whines (“You scratched me!”), low blows (“You’re not wanted … Ask your husband!”), and violent threats (“I will knock your teeth out!”) on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week. HAHA. Just kidding. There wasn’t a single mention of anything she said or did that was out of line. Brandi focused solely on how terrible Kyle Richards was to her guests and her sister.
Brandi called out Kyle for asking Kim Richards why she was in the hospital. This was likely a staged conversation to fill in viewers, but Brandi needs it for her narrative. “Kyle asks her sister why she was in the hospital. There. I will leave it at that. She doesn’t even know WHY her sister was in the hospital more than a week later. It was a hernia, fractured rib, and disc issues – very serious, very painful injuries and medical issues for a single woman over 40.”
Kyle first wants to clear up a few things about last week’s episode after she read Brandi’s own blog. “I’d like to address Brandi’s attempt to twist the events that played out at Eileen’s poker night in her blog last week. It’s an insult to our intelligence. We all SAW with our own eyes exactly what happened. To say that I wanted this to play out in front of the cameras to hurt my sister is her way of trying to poison our minds, as well as Kim’s. We all saw that I walked AWAY, into the bathroom where my sister followed ME. I asked my sister repeatedly to cover her microphone which she insisted she didn’t want to do, because she had nothing to hide. If I had wanted to make a scene at the poker table, I had plenty of opportunities to do so.”
Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!