So here we are at Eileen Davidson‘s house where Kyle and Brandi are sobbing, shrieking, and shoving each other in the driveway. I’m pretty sure we learned in kindergarten to use conversation to solve problems, not name-calling, cuss words, gift bags, hands, side-boobs, bracelets, wine, or pizza?! Or Eileen’s driveway!
And while Kyle and Brandi are arguing over who gets custody of Kim Richards, Kim is standing their like “Duuuuuuude… I’m high. Where’s my pizza?” Literally she asked Brandi what happened to the pizza slice – well Brandi threw at your sister, Kim. I would say go grab another one but you’re probably banned from Eileen’s home!
In case you had blocked out the disaster that was poker night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, allow me to refresh your memory: two drunki-drunkifers, one Boozdi, one Rambles, behaved absolutely appallingly while guests in Eileen Davidson‘s home, then Brandi and Kyle Richards got into a scrapping fit over who got to play over-zealous nursemaid to Kim Richards. Luckily for Lisa Vanderpump she was off vacationing in Mexico. Bitch!
Despite missing the party of the century, Lisa is weighing in on what she observed and is shocked by both Kim and Brandi Glanville‘s behavior, and she also defends her new re-friend Kyle!
“So once again another week passes, and this episode is the start of a tumultuous ride, where alliances take a different path,” reflects Lisa. “We witness the car journey with the incongruous relationship of Brandi and Kyle in the car discussing the success of Kim’s sobriety and the path her life has taken.”
“Then things take a sharp turn as the evening unfolds. That relationship shatters and much is revealed,” begins Lisa.
Eileen Davidson knows from many years of experience on soap operas that it’s best to keep your distance when dealing with a psychotic uber-villain, a family drama, or a former celebrity on a bender. But unfortunately she accidentally welcomed that mayhem in her home!
“Vincent and I thought it would be fun and different to have a poker tournament with the ladies,” explains the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star. “We’ve done parties like this before, and it really can be such a good time…so much for that. Vincent tried so hard to keep things light and fun, but the wheels started falling off the bus right away.”
“I think this episode should be renamed AWKWARD,” shared Kim. “The events that happened were definitely tough on a personal level, but at the same time, I can’t help but have a laugh about it in the end.” Huh. I missed the funny parts.
“Newsflash: I’M NOT SOBER,” blogged Brandi. We could stop here because that’s where Brandi’s “real” ends. But, she added, “And fantasies are just that – fantasies. I’ve just about HAD IT with these judgmental women that pretend to be perfect and think they do no wrong. Spa day was fine other than the uncomfortable wine tasting, but I tried to tell some jokes to loosen the mood.”
Kyle said poker night felt “extremely uncomfortable” from the very beginning. “I could see Kim was ‘off’ but wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation. One thing that was very clear to me watching this is that Brandi is not my friend. Never has been. I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but always kept her at arms length. To see her pretending to be friends with me in the car ride to Eileen‘s then turning on me made things abundantly clear to me. Brandi can’t be a friend to anyone. Including my sister.”
Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.
Kyle starts off clearing up the wine tasting, “First of all, I had no idea there was going to be any wine tasting. I set up a massage for the girls and the hotel decided to go all out but I had no idea what we were doing other than a massage.”
Andy tells Kyle that Brandi Glanville was Tweeting that Kyle scratched her during their scuffle by the door. “I never scratched her. She grabbed my arm and I have bracelets that have spikes on them and when she grabbed my arm, that’s what she got. I never scratched her. I was not physically going after her, I was trying to stop her from taking my sister from me.”
Andy asks why Kim got mad between the bathroom and the pizza experience. “I have no idea and that’s what I was trying to find out.”