Oh Lisa Vanderpump – you saucy minx! I see your redemption campaign, smiling blithely, supremely feigning ignorance to any possible schemes, handing Dorit Kemsley a mirror and instructing her how to amputate her nose to spite her face, defending the maligned, innocent Kim Richards… I think Ms. LVP missed her calling in politics!
Last night had a tricky little moment between LVP and Dorit, didn’t it? Dorito had descended from her Nacho Cheese Delusions and spent the entire episode getting into my good graces, and also the good graces of Lipsa and Eileen Davidson, but in the last few moments, as if a switch was flipped, she all of a sudden turned a bit vituperative. Seeming to plant, to a scandalized, yet dismissive LVP that Lipsa is carrying around baggies of drugs. Now, before LVP could start alerting the police, Dorit was quick to add, as an afterthought that, the pills were “mostly” vitamins.
Rinna confesses to forgetting what she said in that shocking shopping scene, “So, I have to say, watching the conversation Eden and I have while shopping at the Glen is very interesting for me all these months later. There are a few things that I don’t remember saying, but sure enough here I am saying them.”
I regret to inform you that last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills was, once again, all about Kim Richards‘ sobriety. At least we got to see some Erika Jayne side-boob this time though – to cover all the bases of Housewives anatomy. Honestly I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than pantygate.
The story of Kim is a sad one indeed. In fact, Kim and Kyle Richards‘ life reminds me of a book I read – a memoir written by Jack Kerouac’s daughter about her adolescence and early adulthood. I initially read it in high school and was jealous of her free-spirited life and her mother who let her do whatever she wanted; she could party, stay out all night, etc. I re-read the book in college and that time I was sad that she had zero guidance or stability.
Can we all just agree that game nights and the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are just a terrible, terrible mix? It’s like tere and prostitution whores or Vicki Gunvalson and boyfriends or Kenya Moore and reality. They just don’t fit well together. Make it stop, Bravo. The charades I can handle…the drama, not so much!
On this week’s RHOBH, the dreaded recurring game night occurred at Kyle Richards’ abode, complete with the newbies and a very healthy looking Kim Richards but sans slut pigs (thankfully). Eileen Davidson used the opportunity to nitpick the accent memory and word choice and panty pranks of Dorit Kemsley, while Lisa Rinna revisited her long-standing feud with Kim. Don’t get me wrong, I am not quite on board with Dorit, but she clearly has no clue how to handle these women. I adored Eileen on Days of Our Lives (especially as Kristen DiMera’s crazy twin Susan), but her pettiness is exhausting. Ditto for Rinna’s hustling and QVC line anger at Kim. At least the even keeled Lisa Vanderpump is here to give us her words of wisdom!
Dorit begins by claiming, for the fifteenth time, that she didn’t mean to offendErika Jayne over the long and drawn out “Pantygate.” She says that the other ladies could’ve warned her not to make light of the situation with the underwear gift. “I’ve said it a few times now, but I’ll say it one last time. For the record, I never wanted to hurt or shame Erika in any way. I just tried to make light of the situation and be playful. I shouldn’t have talked about buying the panties with the other girls, but no one discouraged me from getting them or even gave Erika the heads up—and these are her friends—so I honestly thought she would find it funny. It’s done with and over, and I really now hope everyone else will let it be, once and for all.”
She starts out, “Have you ever been in a situation where you thought your intentions were good and true, and then at every opportunity to explain yourself you try, and try, and try, but it’s just taken as something completely different? Then you know how I felt at Game Night.”
“She is like having a newborn baby. Doesn’t sleep through the night yet and is not potty trained. And you cannot take your eyes off her for one second! She is going to be about 150 pounds and is a full-time job. Throwing that in on top of everything else has been a little challenging,” says Kyle, “but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m already totally in love with her.”
Raise your hand if you thought Kyle Richards’ game night would go well with Kim Richards and Lisa Rinna in attendance? Yeah, Lisa admits she didn’t, either – but was hopeful for a hot second there!
The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star blogs about her regrets, her ongoing beef with Kim, and her eternal hatred of all things game night! Lisa does appreciate new friend Eden Sassoon’s level headed intervention in the madness though, which was a breathed some much-needed calm into the petty drama.
“Oh, Game Night, I can’t stand you! I think we all have some sort of PTSD from game nights in the past, and Erika [Girardi] nailed it when she referred to this upcoming Game Night as The Hunger Games,” jokes Lisa.