Last night I had a nightmare; a giant wig was taking over, smothering me with it's synthetic polyester strands and reeking of olive oil and burnt hair. It emerged from a microwave waving a cigarette in my face. It's tendrils grabbing at me like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, smothering me and whispering 'Biiiiig Poooopa. Don't Be Taaaardy for Biiiig Pooooppppa!' I couldn't escape! It was horrible! It was so frightening. I woke up and realized it wasn't a nightmare. That really happened. And it was called the premiere of Don't Be Tardy: When Wigs Attack. Otherwise known as the Wigs-N-Cigs Variety Show!
So Kim Zolciak-Biermann invaded our screens again last night and the more things change the more they stay the same, eh. In the two-episode series premiere things open with Kim popping out Baby Kash. Yes, she was wearing a wig and stage make-up in the delivery room. No, she did not put down her phone even while crowning. And worst of all, Kroy Biermann was pigging out on fast food while she was having contractions. And that's how Kash emerged forth into the universe. Immediately before giving birth Kim starts directing her daughters to pick up a massive order of ravioli and frappuccinos. And cigarettes and wine.
Kim also wants a judge to toss out the lawsuit claiming it has no merit according to TMZ. Kim is adamant that not only has she already fairly compensated Kandi for her services, but she paid in excess by $6,000! Kim also insists that Kandi doesn't even believe her own suit as she is simply attempting to pull a Sheree and use the courts to get attention.
I'm not sure if you've noticed but there's been a green mesh dress floating around the Real Housewives circuit. Maybe they're all trading clothes now? Sharing is caring, after all! At least according to my son's preschool teacher.
First Kim Zolciak was spotted in the side-boob baring spectacular on the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. Kim says hers is the original Stella which must be why it was much too tight and revealing, cause you can't get a loaner dress altered. Her stylist provided the duds and celebs (or wannabe celebs) borrow gowns all the time so no shame in that!
CONTINUE READING FOR PHOTOS OF KIM, MELISSA, & LISA IN THE DRESS!
Yesterday was part 2 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. This segment was all about Wigs Zolciak. And if I had a dollar for all the Kimscuses she makes, I could buy me one of them foreclosed dream homes everyone is talking about!
Phaedra Parks is apparently big news this season. We spent a ton of time running down her shenanigans and she seemed relatively composed for all the heat she took. It's clear the only person Phaedra has extreme distaste for is Kenya Moore.
Things begin with a spotlight on NeNe Leakes, cause just in case you didn't know, she has AAAA-RIVED! Andy Cohen wonders if NeNe plays favorites and takes sides, case in point she seemed to dislike Phaedra andKandi Burruss almost instantly. NeNe claims she never does that, Kandi reminds her that actually she does! We all know she does. NeNe likes people she can control and manipulate. And if it's apparent they don't need her or aren't going to bow down to her greatness, she goes all sour on them. So there's no need for her to even bother denying that!
Real Housewives of Atlanta is coming to a close soon (whatever will we do with our Sunday nights?) but the drama that occurred this season is anything but quiet.
Kandi Burruss and NeNe Leakes have had an ongoing feud for seasons. And one that no one really understands. Sometimes they seem to get along fine and then all of the sudden they don't like each other? Huh? NeNe has blamed Kandi being a "hater" for the issues, but Kandi seems to hint that it's manufactured drama for the show!
"We don't really have anything to say to each other," Kandi told The Hollywood Reporter of NeNe. "We really don't talk to each other outside of things we're doing for the show. Like I don't really have a problem with her for real. And I don't think she really has a problem with me. But every time I turn around she has something smart to say to me so I just give her the same energy she gives me."
I guess in Kim's case she's doing the Wig and Wine show with some crass sex jokes and cursing thrown in for good measure. I'm sure family-friendly ABC, who canceled Bachelor Pad because it was too trashy for their image, would love having her as an addition to next season's DWTS cast!
The Don't Be Tardy star tells E! News that she would "definitely entertain the idea" of being on DWTS. Because she's so qualified and has a lot of dance experience. Stripping does not count. "I danced for 18 years of my life, ballet, tap and jazz as a kid," Kim shares.
Real Housewives of Atlanta'sKandi Burruss is one busy lady. Not only is she a Grammy winning songwriter, she loves to stir the pot on her RHOA and hawk sex toys while hosting her own radio show. I don't know when she has time to sleep much less star in her own spin-off! The Kandi Factorypremiered Tuesday night on Bravo, and Kandi is convinced that it's head and shoulders above other music competitions.
Did you watch it? The premise is different…and I like it. Kandi mentors two talented singers and provides them with a song she's written to perform. She and her team take them all the way through the recording process before naming one the winner of that night's episode. The weekly winners then go on to compete against one another. Who wouldn't want to get to sing a Kandi original? (Don't answer that, Kim Zolciak!) While I think the idea is awesome, honestly, I couldn't get into the show. While the contestants were cute and kind of talented, I didn't find myself rooting for either of them. Maybe I just felt bad when that poor girl fell, although she kept performing like a trooper–I'll give her that!
That said, I'll certainly give the show another chance because I do love me some Kandi!
Kim Zolciak has the perfect plan for keeping her Bravo spinoff career going: more babies! And more legal dramas!
The Don't Be Tardy star recently shared that she and husband Kroy Biermann are planning for baby no. 3. Oh lord. Aren't we all tired of that storyline already? Kim and Kroy want a daughter this time.
"We're not done. I think we'll have one more. We'll see." Kim credits Kash being an easy baby as the reason she's ready for a third. "He sleeps 12 hours and wakes up smiling!" Kimtold Us Weekly of Kash. "I was the most well-rested new mom on the planet."