It's that time again! Here's a quick rundown on all things Kardashian! We couldn't NOT write about them…what if they went away? How would I make a living? ;) I'm kidding, obviously, but they really aren't going anywhere, especially now that Kris Jenner has landed her own talk show. I'm actually really curious to see what it's like.
While promoting said talk show, Kris is going to milk the news of daughter Kim Kardashian's baby…since Kanye West wouldn't let her do it in the tabloids. I honestly think Kris is just trying to detract from the fact that Kim is likely going to give birth to the tiny rapper's child while still married to Kris Humphries. Can you blame her? It's quite a messy little situation, wouldn't you say?
The Kardashian gossip is just so juicy today, I am not sure which story with which to lead. Do I start with the Kris Jenner abuse allegations that are penned in her ex-husband Robert Kardashian's journal? Should I lead with a certain new VH1 star's claims that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were hooking up back during her Reggie Bush relationship? So. Much. Pressure.
Eh, we'll go with the second rumor first and save the juiciest for last. Y'all aren't shocked to hear that Kim was cheating on Reggie, are you?
It's what happens when reality worlds collide…secrets are spilled. This is especially true when one of the reality stars is trying desperately to promote his first season of appearing on Love & Hip Hop. Consequence, who calls himself "arguably the best ghostwriter of all times," (and he truly is–I now know from that statement where Kanye got his line from his drunken MTV Award tirade! Brilliant!) is spilling some deets on Kimye from years past, and he shares why there is no love lost between himself and his former friend, the tiny rapper.
The Kardashians are baa-aack! Like they ever went away. Or ever will. I hope I didn't jinx us, but I've heard that they only thing that will survive an apocalypse are cockroaches, twinkies, and Kardashians!
Kim Kardashian may bellyache about wanting to end the divorce proceedings with former husband Kris Humphries, but she certainly seems to enjoy using it for publicity wherever she can!
Kim and Kourtney sat down with David Letterman last night to promote the upcoming premiere of "Kourtney and Kim Take Miami" and the sisters didn't take the high road when it came to the topic of Kim's ex. Kim tried to explain to Dave why things were taking so long, (placing blame with Kris) and Kourtney got in a jab of her own. Take a look at the video clip below of the interview snippet.
One thing I found interesting is that Kim says she has been trying to get the divorce wrapped up for "two years now". Um, someone should remind her that they first split up in October of 2011. Just a bit over ONE year ago.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE VIDEO AND PHOTO GALLERY
Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kim, Kah-ree…if Kim needs a chimney sweep, out of luck is he! Why? Because he won't know which multi-million dollar Bel-Air mansion to go to for his chimney services. More on that in a bit. In the meantime, let's chat about Kim Kardashian is living beneath her means…for once.
Oh, and P.S., Kim doesn't want your mommy advice. She is quite capable of taking care of the tiny rapper's baby without you telling her how to live and what soft cheeses to avoid. Seriously. She hasn't listened to the countless people who have asked her to fade into obscurity, why would she want to hear from fans who think she needs to fly less and eat more greens? Please, as if y'all want to give Kim and Kanye West parenting advice…like it would help.
Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper. You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right. It's the snowball effect. And we're all dumber because of it.
Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband. Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters. I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time. Sorry Mason and Penelope. Y'all are officially old news. Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child. Geez. I'll let Kim speak for me.