Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.
In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.
Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.
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On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the girls each got the chance to show off their new McMansions. Kris Jenner and MJ got high off magic Gummi Bears and Bruce Jenner was a buzzkill. Surprise Surprise. Scott Disick got sloppy and became Scott circa Miami meltdown and Kourtney Kardashian may or may not have failed to take Khloe Kardashian to dinner before screwing her over.
Things begin with Khloe and Kourtney playing grab ass while mocking Kim Kardashian for her Vogue Cover. Really we should be mocking Anna Wintour for her poor lapse of judgment. Maybe she was high too? Kim has a case of sour grapes because her sisters didn’t drop their lives, worship her, kiss her feet, hands and ass and come to the newsstand at 5am to purchase one of the first copies of Kim’s bible cover. Khloe taunts Kim and tells her she already has her copy and reads it while she is on the john. #ToiletMaterial
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest
On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians the Kardashian Klan invaded Thailand for a family vacation. Our condolences go out to Thailand. Kim Kardashian decides to torture gift Kanye West with a book of selfies. Rob Kardashian goes MIA and Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner bicker like an old married couple, that is no longer married. Go figure.
Things kick off at Rob’s apartment. Khloe Kardashian is homeless y’all. I find it hard to believe anyone with an estimated net worth of $18 million could be homeless. Not to mention her mother has a home the size of Disneyland and her step father offered her to crash at his Malibu mansion just last episode. Nice try Khloe, but you my dear are not homeless and I don’t expect to see you at the soup kitchen anytime soon. Khloe and Rob’s relationship is borderline incestuous. Actually it’s not even borderline, it just is. Rob gifts Khloe with sex toys as a welcome present and Khloe announces she will wear lingerie for him. Khloe admits their relationship is like a married couple. I can’t believe I’m going to say this – I’m actually looking forward to Kim taking selfies.
So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…
#IJustCan’t #hashtag #NoDash Someone is pranking the Hamptons, and this time it’s not someone being followed around by camera crews. Residents of the upscale beach community have been up at arms since Kourtney Kardashian, Lord
Douchebag Disick, and family moved in along with sister Khloe for yet another Keeping up with the Kardashians spin-off. Now, someone’s gone a bit Banksey with their attempts to rid the town of the show.
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On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians we saw an emotional Khloe Kardashian reach her breaking point. From admitting to Lamar Odom’s affairs, packing up her home and facing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen jewelery, Khloe cracked under the pressure and gave in to some old vices.
Things kick off with Kourtney Kardashian and her half paralyzed face. Kourtney is distressed by her latest disaster with the dentist. Khloe however, is too busy snapping pics on her phone and threatening to use them at a later date. #Blackmail (see the video below)
If the Kardashian girls are famous for anything, it’s for
famewhoring and a golden shower sex tape their strong work ethic and the sense of power they try to instill in other women. At the forefront of their empowerment movement is mom Kris Jenner, and, according to Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian, she’s been their best role model as a business woman.
The sisters will slap their names on anything that stands still long enough, be it dolls, clothing, or make-up. They are entrepreneurs, y’all. Kim doesn’t even care much about the reality shows as they are just a marketing vessel for the Kardashian brand. She’s a damn evil genius, isn’t she?
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