Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.
In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.
Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.
Things begin with Khloe and Kourtney playing grab ass while mocking Kim Kardashian for her Vogue Cover. Really we should be mocking Anna Wintour for her poor lapse of judgment. Maybe she was high too? Kim has a case of sour grapes because her sisters didn’t drop their lives, worship her, kiss her feet, hands and ass and come to the newsstand at 5am to purchase one of the first copies of Kim’s bible cover. Khloe taunts Kim and tells her she already has her copy and reads it while she is on the john. #ToiletMaterial
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest
Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
Things kick off at Rob’s apartment. Khloe Kardashian is homeless y’all. I find it hard to believe anyone with an estimated net worth of $18 million could be homeless. Not to mention her mother has a home the size of Disneyland and her step father offered her to crash at his Malibu mansion just last episode. Nice try Khloe, but you my dear are not homeless and I don’t expect to see you at the soup kitchen anytime soon. Khloe and Rob’s relationship is borderline incestuous. Actually it’s not even borderline, it just is. Rob gifts Khloe with sex toys as a welcome present and Khloe announces she will wear lingerie for him. Khloe admits their relationship is like a married couple. I can’t believe I’m going to say this – I’m actually looking forward to Kim taking selfies.
So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…
On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians we saw an emotional Khloe Kardashianreach her breaking point. From admitting to Lamar Odom’s affairs, packing up her home and facing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen jewelery, Khloe cracked under the pressure and gave in to some old vices.
Things kick off with Kourtney Kardashian and her half paralyzed face. Kourtney is distressed by her latest disaster with the dentist. Khloe however, is too busy snapping pics on her phone and threatening to use them at a later date. #Blackmail (see the video below)
If the Kardashian girls are famous for anything, it’s for famewhoring and a golden shower sex tape their strong work ethic and the sense of power they try to instill in other women. At the forefront of their empowerment movement is mom Kris Jenner, and, according to Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian, she’s been their best role model as a business woman.
The sisters will slap their names on anything that stands still long enough, be it dolls, clothing, or make-up. They are entrepreneurs, y’all. Kim doesn’t even care much about the reality shows as they are just a marketing vessel for the Kardashian brand. She’s a damn evil genius, isn’t she?
On last night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashiansthings begin at Kris Jenner's house with the ever adorable Mason announcing he is going to kick his Aunty KoKo's butt at sword fighting. Can I just say, if this show had more Mason and less kartrashian fakeness and orchestrated storylines I think this show would become more likeable. Mason is adorable and the family is equally adorable when they are with him.
Bruce Jenner,Scott Disick and Mason go on a man date. Bruce is still enjoying his hot and steamy love affair with Malibu. I don't think it's Malibu so much as it is being free from Kris Jenner. Scott wants to watch Bruce fly one of his toy helicopters. Bruce believes you shouldn't be a spectator in life and that you learn more from doing. Scott is all for it. #WordsOfWisdomByBruce
On a different note, Bruce asks Scott how he is doing since the sudden and tragic loss of both his parents. Scott reveals he can't believe this is his life now and he sometimes forgets they are gone. He even tries to call them sometimes without realizing no one will ever answer. My heart breaks for Scott. I hope Scott is comfortable with talking about his feelings on camera and this isn't the Kardashians abusing a storyline, because his pain and sadness is raw and real. To make a bad scene worse, Bruce tells Scott he is kind of stuck with them – family wise.