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Kourtney Kardashian

 kim-k-shower

Last night on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Brody Jenner threw a tantrum which may or may not have been warranted. Kim Kardashian got her bridezilla on. Kylie Jenner became a blue haired martian/skittle/punk rock barbie. Kendall lost her eyebrows and became homesick and Kourtney Kardashian dropped a bombshell  that sent Scott Disick off into an emotional tailspin.

Things kick off with Kimmie Kakes and Bruce Jenner enjoying a father daughter lunch. Kim is on a mission to drop the post pregnancy pounds so she can squeeze into a skin tight wedding gown. Kim decides to talk Bruce through the logistics of giving her away. Apparently Kim wants a solo walk for the first leg of her aisle walk and for Bruce to collect her after she passes the first fountain. Bruce likens the whole thing to a relay race. I think he was looking for the word circus. Tom-ay-to, Tom-ah-to. Changing gears, Bruce feels like all the embellishments on Kim’s crazy shoes looks similar to his a$$ when his hemorrhoids are acting up… yep when it comes to this family nothing is off limits. I think ‘dangleberries’ may have been used in this sentence but I was too busy vomiting to be entirely sure.

Kourtney Kardashian blue jumpsuit

Kourtney Kardashian is ready for war! The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star recently returned to her Calabasas mansion after spending the summer in the Hamptons shooting Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons. But upon her arrival, Kourtney found what she believes to be black mold on the ceiling of the master bedroom. The mold can be deadly, so she and her family have had to take shelter at the Montage hotel.

Kourtney and her partner, Scott Disick, just bought the house a few months ago, so needless to say they are none too pleased. And the are going after the former owner, claiming he knew about the mold and tried to cover it up.

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 Keeping Up with the Kardashians

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kris Jenner and Khloe Kardashian came to a boil over Kris’s lack of professionalism as a Momager. Kris and Kim Kardashian came to a boil over Kris constantly trying to hijack Kim’s wedding planning. We also got to meet Khloe’s new love interest Mr. French Montana and Lamar Odom made a very quick cameo.

Things begin with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian discussing Khloe’s new love interest – French Montana. Kourtney is perplexed at who he is and also who Khloe’s new posse is that she is being photographed out and about with. Apparently Khloe has a posse now? I guess that’s one of the perks that comes with dating French Montana? #RapperLife I think Kim’s a little jelly of all the attention Khloe is receiving. Kourtney finds it strange nobody has met him. Kim finds it strange that Khloe would ever date a guy who isn’t black. Kourtney compares Khloe’s secretive behavior to her previous relationship with Lamar. I guess Khloe tries to not scare off her romantic choices by introducing them to her family too soon. Instead she likes everyone to meet at her weddings instead. #NoTurningBackAtTheAltar The girls come to conclusion that Khloe is just a shady lady.

G. Garvin Live

This week in reality TV photos you’ll find Kandi Burruss and Phaedra Parks attending G. Garvin Live at Buckhead Theatre, as well as Joyce Giraud taking a stroll with her husband. 

Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards on the streets of Beverly Hills, Laura Govan attending the Teen Choice Awards and Andi Dorfman celebrating Josh Murray’s birthday. 

Kim Kardashian was out and about everywhere this week – especially around NYC as she gave interviews, promoted products and filmed with her sisters for “Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons.”

In this week’s gallery you’ll also find Nicole Murphy, Erica Mena, Ramona Singer, Sheree Fletcher and many more!

 

Scott Disick Kourtney Kardashian

Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.

In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.

Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.

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 kuwtk3

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the girls each got the chance to show off their new McMansions. Kris Jenner and MJ got high off magic Gummi Bears and Bruce Jenner was a buzzkill. Surprise Surprise. Scott Disick got sloppy and became Scott circa Miami meltdown and Kourtney Kardashian may or may not have failed to take Khloe Kardashian to dinner before screwing her over.

Things begin with Khloe and Kourtney playing grab ass while mocking Kim Kardashian for her Vogue Cover. Really we should be mocking Anna Wintour for her poor lapse of judgment. Maybe she was high too? Kim has a case of sour grapes because her sisters didn’t drop their lives, worship her, kiss her feet, hands and ass and come to the newsstand at 5am to purchase one of the first copies of Kim’s bible cover. Khloe taunts Kim and tells her she already has her copy and reads it while she is on the john. #ToiletMaterial

kim-kardashian

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest

Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
 

 Kris Jenner Zipline

On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians the Kardashian Klan invaded Thailand for a family vacation. Our condolences go out to Thailand. Kim Kardashian decides to torture gift Kanye West with a book of selfies. Rob Kardashian goes MIA and Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner bicker like an old married couple, that is no longer married. Go figure.

Things kick off at Rob’s apartment. Khloe Kardashian is homeless y’all. I find it hard to believe anyone with an estimated net worth of $18 million could be homeless. Not to mention her mother has a home the size of Disneyland and her step father offered her to crash at his Malibu mansion just last episode. Nice try Khloe, but you my dear are not homeless and I don’t expect to see you at the soup kitchen anytime soon. Khloe and Rob’s relationship is borderline incestuous. Actually it’s not even borderline, it just is. Rob gifts Khloe with sex toys as a welcome present and Khloe announces she will wear lingerie for him. Khloe admits their relationship is like a married couple. I can’t believe I’m going to say this – I’m actually looking forward to Kim taking selfies.

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