The Kardashians are baa-aack! Like they ever went away. Or ever will. I hope I didn't jinx us, but I've heard that they only thing that will survive an apocalypse are cockroaches, twinkies, and Kardashians!
Kim Kardashian may bellyache about wanting to end the divorce proceedings with former husband Kris Humphries, but she certainly seems to enjoy using it for publicity wherever she can!
Kim and Kourtney sat down with David Letterman last night to promote the upcoming premiere of "Kourtney and Kim Take Miami" and the sisters didn't take the high road when it came to the topic of Kim's ex. Kim tried to explain to Dave why things were taking so long, (placing blame with Kris) and Kourtney got in a jab of her own. Take a look at the video clip below of the interview snippet.
One thing I found interesting is that Kim says she has been trying to get the divorce wrapped up for "two years now". Um, someone should remind her that they first split up in October of 2011. Just a bit over ONE year ago.
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Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kim, Kah-ree…if Kim needs a chimney sweep, out of luck is he! Why? Because he won't know which multi-million dollar Bel-Air mansion to go to for his chimney services. More on that in a bit. In the meantime, let's chat about Kim Kardashian is living beneath her means…for once.
Oh, and P.S., Kim doesn't want your mommy advice. She is quite capable of taking care of the tiny rapper's baby without you telling her how to live and what soft cheeses to avoid. Seriously. She hasn't listened to the countless people who have asked her to fade into obscurity, why would she want to hear from fans who think she needs to fly less and eat more greens? Please, as if y'all want to give Kim and Kanye West parenting advice…like it would help.
Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper. You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right. It's the snowball effect. And we're all dumber because of it.
Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband. Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters. I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time. Sorry Mason and Penelope. Y'all are officially old news. Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child. Geez. I'll let Kim speak for me.
It's all about the Benjamins with those Kardashian girls, isn't it? Well, hopefully they haven't peeved the wrong tabloid, because word on the mean streets of media is that Us Weekly isn't happy with their frequent kash kows for keeping the publication out of the loop about Kimye, Junior's existence.
Instead the magazine was stuck with a "Kardashian exclusive" about Kourtney's post-baby weight loss while the Internet was buzzing about Kanye West's baby mama announcement. It seems that no one cares about Kourtney's flat belly when her sister Kim has a bun in the oven. Sorry, Kourt!
Everyone starts a new year with good intentions, right? Even reality stars! While I'm sure they all have a bevy of things they'd like to improve upon (one would hope!) we thought we'd give them a little help in that department. Below are some of the New Year's Resolutions we wish some of our favorite reality stars would make.
Kim Kardashian: 'Please let my mom leave me alone – I resolve to try and say no to her and stop putting all my embarrassing and indecent moments on TV. I really don't want to have to pull a baby out of my vagina on Keeping Up With The Kardashians like Kourtney did. Does being pregnant mean my child has already sold its soul to E!? I hope not. And I resolve to let being pregnant get more media coverage than that icky divorce. Hopefully my next TV wedding will be less of a mess.'
We really, really hope ol' Kimmie Kakes embraces the notion of privacy. Especially less nudie pics on Twitter and less revealing clothing. We've already seen it all, anyway. #sextape #playboy
According to the rumor mill, Kourtney is still refusing to make things official with the father of her two children. Seeing as both Kim and Khloe Kardashian offered up million dollar nuptials in the name of ratings, one would think that Kourtney would be on board with using her walk down the aisle to attract viewers. She's not. It looks like Kris may need to find a quick beau for younger daughters Kylie and Kendall if Kourtney isn't willing to use her relationship to spearhead the finale! Gah!