Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper. You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right. It's the snowball effect. And we're all dumber because of it.
Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband. Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters. I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time. Sorry Mason and Penelope. Y'all are officially old news. Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child. Geez. I'll let Kim speak for me.
It's all about the Benjamins with those Kardashian girls, isn't it? Well, hopefully they haven't peeved the wrong tabloid, because word on the mean streets of media is that Us Weekly isn't happy with their frequent kash kows for keeping the publication out of the loop about Kimye, Junior's existence.
Instead the magazine was stuck with a "Kardashian exclusive" about Kourtney's post-baby weight loss while the Internet was buzzing about Kanye West's baby mama announcement. It seems that no one cares about Kourtney's flat belly when her sister Kim has a bun in the oven. Sorry, Kourt!
Everyone starts a new year with good intentions, right? Even reality stars! While I'm sure they all have a bevy of things they'd like to improve upon (one would hope!) we thought we'd give them a little help in that department. Below are some of the New Year's Resolutions we wish some of our favorite reality stars would make.
Kim Kardashian: 'Please let my mom leave me alone – I resolve to try and say no to her and stop putting all my embarrassing and indecent moments on TV. I really don't want to have to pull a baby out of my vagina on Keeping Up With The Kardashians like Kourtney did. Does being pregnant mean my child has already sold its soul to E!? I hope not. And I resolve to let being pregnant get more media coverage than that icky divorce. Hopefully my next TV wedding will be less of a mess.'
We really, really hope ol' Kimmie Kakes embraces the notion of privacy. Especially less nudie pics on Twitter and less revealing clothing. We've already seen it all, anyway. #sextape #playboy
According to the rumor mill, Kourtney is still refusing to make things official with the father of her two children. Seeing as both Kim and Khloe Kardashian offered up million dollar nuptials in the name of ratings, one would think that Kourtney would be on board with using her walk down the aisle to attract viewers. She's not. It looks like Kris may need to find a quick beau for younger daughters Kylie and Kendall if Kourtney isn't willing to use her relationship to spearhead the finale! Gah!
Everyday Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star Lisa Vanderpump gives me a reason to love her even more. I'll be honest, I wasn't on board with Lisa in earlier seasons. It's not that I didn't like her, it's just that I was indifferent towards her. Oh, how times have changed!
This season's Lisa is every bit as stylish and classy as she's been the past two seasons, but it's awesome to see her forming opinions and standing up for her friends. Yes, she's brash and brutally honest, but she's also (in my opinion) totally genuine and grounded. Not to mention, I love her wardrobe, her precious son-in-law, and the romance that is still totally alive between her and Ken Todd. You just can't fake that kind of relationship. She's real…and she could buy and sell me a thousand times over!
Not only has Lisa gained a spin-off (can't wait!) due to her RHOBH popularity, but she's also getting outside deals. First up? She's judging the Miss Universe pageant alongside Kourtney Kardashian's beau Scott Disick. Did I mention that she's nothing if not honest?
It's that all-important special time again – time for the Keeping Up With The KardashiansKristmas Kard! Behold: it's splendiferous, it's Kanye-less, and Kourtney looks thinner than Kim although she had a baby like last week.
I thinkKris Jenner may be there? That very young and sassy woman sitting next to Kendall with the Pat Benetar hair cut is confusing me…
So congrats Photoshop you've worked your miracles again.
You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right? Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner. I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media. We all know she's really good at that! These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold. They are daughters, not brands!
I don't mean to be redundant, but I know I've said this before…bless Kim Kardashian's heart. Seriously, bless it. Not only does the mere mention of her name make people in the states automatically get a rash, now the Middle East is creeped out by her as well. That's got to be a tough cross to bear, and I don't even care for her. Yet I feel badly…must be the holidays.
As you all know, Kim has been touring Kuwait and Bahrain touting Millions of Milkshakes. I'm sure President Obama is super excited about the amount of diplomacy that's happening with that situation! Anyhoo, I'm sure poor Kim was thrilled at the opportunity to promote the dairy treats on the other side of the world while wearing the finest couture from the Kardashian Kollection and the tiny rapper's new shoe line. Little did she know she'd be welcomed with protests and discord. Of course, we probably all figured she would given her recent controversial (and likely clueless on Kim's part) tweets, but she was totally sidelined by her less than stellar welcome. Damn you, Twitter!