Happy weekend, readers! I've got some pretty phenomenal news for y'all! Guess what? The Kardashians never do anything wrong. Crazy, I know! All the stuff we read about them is lies. Kris Jenner is not trying to find the next highest paycheck for her daughters and Rob. They are just a normal family who enjoys spending a little time in the public eye. The krew would be more than happy to maintain their privacy. Ahahahahaha! It was hard to even type that!
You know how I know this ahmahzing information? It's straight from the pimpmomager herself! Kris is letting everyone know that what we read in the tabloids–like the writings of her late ex-husband's journal–are totally false. In other news, daughter Kim Kardashian's dicorce proceedings are moving forward as planned after her attorneys failed to reach a settlement agreement with those of Kris Humphries. The above picture is her leaving court…what, praytell, is she wearing??
I'm thinking about using my legal and blogging backgrounds to start a special kind of celebrity-inspired law school. Contracts, torts, even civil procedure could be worlds more exciting if you're studying cases based in tabloid craziness…and goodness knows there are enough celebrity legal spats to provide copious amounts of study materials. I specifically remember studying a case in my wills and trusts class which involved a troubled stripper turned Guess model as she vied for her much older husband's estate after his passing. Ring any bells? I'd even invite Harvey Weinstein to be a guest lecturer.
Of course, all 1Ls would have to takeKardashian Law. Think about it…the class could cover everything from employment to divorce to defamation. Kris Humphries could teach part of the course in his off-season! Speaking of Kris, we've got some news on his divorce proceedings from Kim. Also, if you recall, Kris Jenner recently filed a lawsuit against her ex husband's widow Ellen Kardashian for copyright infringement, claiming that Ellen sold portions of Robert Kardashian, Sr.'s private journals which were willed exclusively to his children. This family is a plethora of legal insanity, and I have more to share with you after the jump!
I am not sure if I know any family that loves famewhoring and lawsuits more than those krazy Kardashians. I think they'd literally shrivel up if they weren't constantly surrounded by paparazzi and tabloid fodder and legal pleadings and vapidness. In the divorce that has drawn out longer than the actual marriage, Kris Humphries will finally have his day in court. However, Kim Kardashian won't be there…she's got perfume to promote, y'all! Priorities. Duh.
In other Kardashian/Jenner news, the family that fames together files claims together (sorry, that was bad). Remember when Robert Kardashian's widow sold his diary? Yeah, that's coming back to bite her in the arse.
Can we please all cross our fingers in hopes that Kim Kardashian's divorce trial from Kris Humphries is televised? I know it won't be, but a girl can dream, right?
The reality star recently sat for a deposition, and according to sources, she declined to answer some questions. Apparently, Kimmie doesn't want anyone to know that she often tips off paparazzi and leaks stories to tabloids…but she didn't want to lie under oath either. Oh, Kim! We all know your silly secrets. 'Fess up!
You know one thing I've noticed? When Khloe Kardashian Odom is in the tabloids, it's usually some twisted rumor perpetuated by paparazzi photos. When her sister Kim Kardashian is in the tabloids, she's usually put herself there willingly in a misguided attempt to get more attention. Unfortunately for Kim, it never works out how she planned, and the backlash is usually hilarious for the rest of us.
Yesterday, a photo of Khloe hugging a man who is not husband Lamar Odom surfaced, so clearly the girl is having a scandalous affair…that, or she and brother Rob are participating in a rapper friend's fitness program. The former sounds more exciting though, doesn't it? Meanwhile, Kim is trying to rid herself of all things Kris Humphries before all of her love child with Kanye West is born. While I'm assuming she's trying to garner sympathy, hawking high-end designer shoes and a one-of-a-kind clutch to the highest bidder on ebay doesn't make me feel all that badly for poor Kimmie. Go figure. At least she's doing it for charity…a "portion" of the proceeds go to Life Change Community Church. You know, the church her mother Kris Jennerco-founded.
Apparently a television personality is going to start showing the Kardashians some love…although it's more about getting talk show guests than actually wanting to play nice. Chelsea Handler is turning over a new leaf, and she's not going to be bashing the fame hungry family. That's right. She and Kris Jenner have called a truce on their public, two-year feud.
Just to maintain order in the universe, whenever someone backs the Kardashians, another person must bash them. If we don't maintain this balance, who knows what could happen to the planet? In other Kardashian news, some long lost relatives of Kris Humphries are breaking the family's silence on his never ending divorce from Kim Kardashian. His aunt and uncle are opening up on what they think of the 72 day union, as well as Kris' motives for wanting it annulled.
Sure, Kim Kardashian is super annoying, self-absorbed, and mind-numbingly vapid, but she sure does post some entertaining pictures on her Instagram. Case in point? The picture above, which she aptly captioned "Bo Derek braids." Let's discuss for a moment, shall we? Ignoring the fact that Bo Derek is likely extremely insulted (and rightfully so), I am so distracted by her make-up. And does that ring say "couture?" Anything but…she looks like she belongs on Solid Gold. Even Kanye West is so embarrassed that he has to hide his face. Oddly enough, I am kind of feeling his gold studded plaid flannel. I know, I know. It's probably just the only thing in the picture I can slightly compliment.
I've got some more Kimmie K. pictures for you after the jump…as well as an update with Kim's divorce proceedings with Kris Humphries. It's neverending. Happy weekend, y'all!
Uh-oh, another set-back for Kris Humphries! The Kardashain hub TMZ is working overtime to get Kris' annulment claim and his reputation destroyed. Oh you are so pathetically transparent Kris Jenner!
A week after it was reported that Kim Kardashian is desperate to finalize her divorce from Kris, even going so far as to claim the stress is hurting her unborn child (the next day she jetted off to Brazil and wore 5" heels everywhere), Kris' California attorney has quit after some legal wrangling with Kim's attorney Laura Wasser. Coincidence much?
Kris and his attorneys Lee Hutton and Marshall Waller were trying to seek an annulment based on the idea that Kris' marriage to the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star was a publicity stunt orchestrated by the Kardashians. Kris, a devout Christian, also wants the annulment for religious reasons.
Apparently Marshall no longer is Team Humphries! Citing differences of opinions, TMZ reports he quit Kris' case and filed legal documents requesting removal stating "irreconcilable differences".