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Kris Humphries

Oh good gravy!   Those Kardashians will never go gently into that good night, will they?  I guess I have to take some of the blame for still writing about them, but what can I do?  (Stop writing about them, I hear you)  Perhaps today I’ll write about the authority on all things love-related…at least in Bravolebrity world.

Patti Stanger, everyone’s favorite Millionaire Matchmaker, recently spoke with HollywoodLife.com about the whole Kimye phenomenon.  Of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s fauxmance romance she exclaims, “This is a good, good fit for her and I hope that Kris [Jenner], her mother, gives the blessing because I think they’ll end up getting married. I really do. I think he has known the family long enough to know what the problems are. I love it. KK babies all the way! I think that they both made a mistake at one point in their life. They understand each other and they were friends first. Friends are the best foundation for a really good marriage.”

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There’s lots going on in the Krazy Kardashian universe this weekend. On Thursday Bruce Jenner‘s son Brandon got married in Hawaii and while Kendall, Kylie, Brody, and Kris Jenner all flew out for the party, none of the Kardashian side of the family bothered to show up. Kendall and Kylie served as bridesmaids!

Instead they sent out their congrats the modern way…via social media. Khloe posted the following well-wishes to her blog Thursday morning: “I just wanted to send a HUGE congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiancé/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!” Kim and Kourtney posted similar messages to their Twitter and blogs.

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Poor Kim Kardashian…girl just can’t catch a break!  Not only is she playing the role of dutiful girlfriend while on tour with Kanye West, ahem, I mean coincidentally in London with him while she promotes her fragrance line, but she also must put up with groupies as well.  Sources report that Kim has put the kabosh on him greeting fans after his concert, but she’s still envious of his relationships with different females on the tour.

The source reveals, “Kanye has a load of girls he’s friends with. Most are stylists or from the fashion set but Kim’s not happy about them being alone with him backstage.  She sees how well he gets on with girls because of his sensitive side and has decided to rein in the entourage a bit. Kim is trying to put a stop to this as she doesn’t want to look or feel awkward at any point.”  I’m sorry, his sensitive side?  I may or may not have just spewed coffee after reading that!

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Kim Kardashian just never stops, does she? The ultimate famewhore, who really defines the term with her desperateness, is now trying to nab a slew of A-List friends thanks to her fauxlationship with megastar Kanye West.

The NY Daily News is reporting that Kim is desperate to get on Beyoncé‘s good side. Kim flew to London yesterday to accompany Kanye during his concert with Jay-Z. And Kim’s motivation for the five-day trip has nothing to do with being a supportive girlfriend! “Kim wants to travel everywhere with Kanye, but she’s also trying to do whatever she can to get close to Beyoncé,” a source reveals. “So, if Bey and Jay are going, she’s going.”

Kim would “live and breathe to hang out with Beyoncé,” the insider continues. Sadly for Kim, Beyoncé continues to have no interest in a relationship with the reality hoegul – and neither do the rest of Kanye’s A-lister friends. Poor Kim was even, allegedly, banned from the recent Met Costume Institute Gala because Anna Wintour didn’t want her ilk infiltrating the classy event.

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They won’t go away, so I am doing my best to embrace them.  Who am I kidding?  Given the allergic reaction I seem to be having, that must mean it’s time for our daily dose of Dash.  First up?  A glorious baby shower hosted by Queen Bee Kris Jenner.

As you know, Kourtney is bringing yet another Disick Kardashian into the world, and her mother graciously hosted a soiree this past Saturday to toast the impending birth of Kourtney’s daughter.  Life & Style reports on the event.  I’m sure of course we’ll all get to see it when it airs on one of their many reality shows.  These folks don’t do anything without cameras present, right Ray J?

A source tells the magazine, “Kourtney’s shower was so nice!  Her mom and sisters were there, of course. They talked, laughed, and played games. There was a bar and lots of different types of foods and desserts, including sushi and little sandwiches.  She seemed happy and excited earlier in the day before the shower. Her son, Mason, was there, too.”

“Lehr & Black did Kourtney’s shower invitations,” adds another ‘insider’ citing, “They were beautiful.”

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It’s Friday and time for a whole mess of news about your favorite celebutante, Kim Kardashian. We’ll start with the most exciting news, and that’s the news that Kim and her soon to be ex Kris Humphries will soon be deposed as part of their divorce proceedings. And you know what that means — all kinds of Kardashian dirt is about to emerge!

HuffPo reports that it’s still up in the air whether or not we’ll be treated to a Kim video deposition, which naturally the very shy reality queen does not want to participate in. Kris’s lawyers want her to go first. The pair’s next court date is set for August 15, with their interviews tentatively scheduled for early June. Somehow I have a feeling someone, somehow will get a copy of these depositions. And I can’t wait! Kris’s lawyers are eager to get started and make the decision about whether to pursue a fraud case. Radar has a great quote:

Kris wants a divorce trial so that the truth can finally come out. Amongst other matters, he wants to know about the Ferrari that the couple got from a very wealthy Malaysian businessman that attended the wedding. Kris was at Kim’s house when the car was delivered — it was given to both of them, but Kim has kept sole ownership and has used it extensively. She will be asked about it, under oath, on the stand at the trial.”

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Do you think Kim Kardashian would have gone through with her sham wedding had she known the divorce would not only out-last the nuptials but also threaten to destroy her kimpire? Probably not, but who knows with these fame whores!

In the latest element of the divorce saga plaguing Kim, future ex-husband Kris Humphries is refusing to back down in his quest to expose Kimmie Kakes and her family for the frauds they are. Kris’ lawyers are petitioning to depose Kim on camera – which she is opposed to. I know, Kim opposed to being on film? There’s a first time for everything! Now the ex-couple is also fighting over Kim’s $2M engagement ring. See, Kris wants it back and Kim wants to keep it.

“Kris wants the ring back because the marriage only lasted 72 days and he believes it was based on fraud and deceit. Remember, Kim filed for divorce. Kris paid for that ring, and he just can’t fathom why Kim would want to keep it,” a source close to the exes tells RadarOnline. “It’s not like she is ever going to wear it again. Kris realizes that with Kim it’s all about material objects and she truly treasures things over people in her life.”

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Welcome, y’all!  It’s your daily dose of Kardashianasty!  For those of you who actually expected Khloe  Kardashian to shy away from the small screen after bowing out of Khloe and Lamar, think again.  HollywoodLife.com is reporting that Khloe would like to try a different television genre.  A family insider tells the site, “Khloe wants her own talk show.  She had been working on different ideas for a show and Kris [Jenner] was the one who originally came up with the idea.”  Wait, what?  Pimpmomager Kris wants her daughter to be a talk show host?  Well knock me over with a feather, I’m shocked!

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