I interrupt your weekend to bring you this truly gag inducing story. Plus, we can never get enough of the Kardashians, right? I kid, I kid. Clearly, they can’t get enough of themselves, and Kim’s recent nekkid GQ shoot is just more of the same for this crew.
The other day we asked what you thought of Kim’s bare bum and fake tan (missed it? Check it out after the jump! You’re welcome). I thought the picture alone was bad. I was so, so, so wrong. Along with the photograph, Kim also gave an interview in which she brags about her sex life with husband Kanye West, hints about another potential sex tape (she does love to star in those, doesn’t she?), and reveals that Vogue editor Anna Wintour put her stamp of approval on North’s creative name. Poor Anna. She’s losing cool points left and right these days!
The finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians is FINALLY here! Which means the over the top thoroughly orchestrated storylines and extremely D-list acting is finally coming to an end. We can all exhale and relax. Or at least until E! starts shoving Kourtney and Khloe take the Hamptons down our throats.
The episode begins with a disclaimer that we are able to witness an episode shot almost entirely by Kim Kardashian’s family and friends. Basically this means that both the acting and the cinematography suck tonight. Strap in for one last wild ride folks.
Things begin with a gleeful Kris Jennerscreeching she is in Paris whilst pointing out obvious landmarks like the Eiffel Tower. I feel like issuing a quick apology disclaimer to both France and Italy for having such a nutso family invade their respective countries. Kris is on cloud nine prancing around during her dress fitting. Kanye West and Kris decide she should be showing more cleavage. #NoBoundaries Why does Kanye even want to see old lady cleavage? Kim comes to the rescue and demands Kris keep her boobs in her bra. #ProblemSolved The Jenner-bots look Ah-mah-zing in their bridesmaid dresses, but Kourtney and Khloe are not sold on the look.
Things kick off with Kimmie Kakes and Bruce Jennerenjoying a father daughter lunch. Kim is on a mission to drop the post pregnancy pounds so she can squeeze into a skin tight wedding gown. Kim decides to talk Bruce through the logistics of giving her away. Apparently Kim wants a solo walk for the first leg of her aisle walk and for Bruce to collect her after she passes the first fountain. Bruce likens the whole thing to a relay race. I think he was looking for the word circus. Tom-ay-to, Tom-ah-to. Changing gears, Bruce feels like all the embellishments on Kim’s crazy shoes looks similar to his a$$ when his hemorrhoids are acting up… yep when it comes to this family nothing is off limits. I think ‘dangleberries’ may have been used in this sentence but I was too busy vomiting to be entirely sure.
Kendall Jenner has been taking the high fashion modeling world by storm for some time and now it seems she feels like she no longer needs her famous last name to become the supermodel she dreams of being.
Kendall and Kylie Jenner need to go back to hanging out with Jaden Smith! The Keeping Up With the Kardashians stars have been spotted recently with convicted woman-beater Chris Brown and d-bag of the decade Justin Bieber.
Well now those new friends are not only making us question where Kris Jenner would draw the line with her youngest kids and their choice of friends, but it is also putting them in danger.
Although Kim has waded into the waters of producing reality TV before — remember the short lived show about her publicist/best friend Jonathan Cheban — this time, Kim has more experience and a completely different show concept.
Things begin with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian discussing Khloe’s new love interest – French Montana. Kourtney is perplexed at who he is and also who Khloe’s new posse is that she is being photographed out and about with. Apparently Khloe has a posse now? I guess that’s one of the perks that comes with dating French Montana? #RapperLife I think Kim’s a little jelly of all the attention Khloe is receiving. Kourtney finds it strange nobody has met him. Kim finds it strange that Khloe would ever date a guy who isn’t black. Kourtney compares Khloe’s secretive behavior to her previous relationship with Lamar. I guess Khloe tries to not scare off her romantic choices by introducing them to her family too soon. Instead she likes everyone to meet at her weddings instead. #NoTurningBackAtTheAltar The girls come to conclusion that Khloe is just a shady lady.