Well, if this isn't exciting news, I don't know what is! It seems that Kris Jenner's horrific talk show won't be making a comeback next season. I'm kidding…the news isn't exactly exciting as I refuse to watch her show. Apparently, she's not "likeable." Who knew? I am completely shocked.
Perhaps now she'll have more time to spend with youngest daughters Kylie and Kendallsince dad Bruce Jenner is no longer living at home. However, I'm guessing that the girls would much rather hang out with dear ol' dad instead of being pimped out by momager Kris, but with this family, who really knows?
Kris Jenner has decided the perfect pimpmomager monitor is the trusty old Google Alert – I mean why actually parent when you can just get a ping in your inbox while getting a manicure or arranging another million-dollar faux wedding for one of your spawn?
"Sometimes that's how I keep track of these kids, because they're everywhere," Kris said discussing her parenting techniques with Australia's 2DayFM. "And if I don't have my little Google alert every morning, how am I going to keep up with these Kardashians?" See what she did there?!
I have to say, I feel so badly for Khloe Kardashian. She seems to be the most level-headed and genuine of her crazy, materialistic, fame-hungry family, and she seemed sincerely dedicated to making her marriage to Lamar Odomwork. Even after Lamar's alleged drug abuse and affairs became tabloid fodder, Khloe seemed to ignore all of her mother's unspoken family rules and tried her best to stay out of the limelight.
Of course, now Khloe and Lamar are divorcing after five years of marriage after much speculation. Pimpmomager Kris Jenner has been too busy touting how happy she is for Kim's #blessed relationship with Yeezus and their beautiful baby North to comment on Khloe's misfortune. Plus, she's super busy maintaining a friendship with her estranged husband Bruceand chatting up Kendall'sfriendship with Harry Styles with her best gal pal Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb on the Today Show. Kris and Kathie Lee together? Poor, poor Hoda.
Recently the media has been all abuzz about Rob Kardashian moving to Miami. Rob is over the media machine that has become his family and has specifically had it with his pushy, over-bearing pimpmomager Kris Jenner, reportedly.
“Rob feels like his family can’t see anything beyond the spotlight,” a source tells In Touch Weekly. “But he wants more for himself than fame.”
At the center of his frustration is Rob's struggle with his weight. He's been increasingly distant from family events even refusing to appear on the family Christmas card because of his weight.
Instead of supporting him as he got healthy, Rob feels his family tried to humiliate him on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and then use weight loss as a storyline and media ploy.
“I love the new year, new beginnings," Khloe confesses to British Cosmopolitan as next month's cover girl. "I need a good fresh start; I’m excited for this year to be over with. You only live once so let’s make that one time perfect. We can’t fix our mistakes and imperfections, so let’s have fun. You get what you give out in life."
It appears that someone is still in the feeling the holiday spirit because Kanye West just gave us the best Christmas present ever. And I mean EVER! The tiny rapper has vowed to stop talking smack about everyone and everything for a while. He's promised us six months of Yeezus-free commentary. Thank you, sir.
Perhaps Kris Jenner has gotten her wish? You know she's behind this latest ploy. I should mention that 'Ye's latest declaration took place during a twenty-seven minute rant during his last Yeezus concert. Seriously, who goes to these things? It's not like he's going to perform!
As if the amount of peanut brittle I've eaten today isn't gag-worthy enough, Kris Jenner swoops in to ruin my sugar high with her talk of Kimye's wedding, how in love Yeezus is with daughter Kim Kardashian, and how great things are with Bruce post-separation. It makes me kind of want to poke myself in the eye.
It will come as no surprise that Kim isn't going to tone it down for wedding number three to Kanye West. Shocker! After her million dollar event for a marriage that lasted less than three months, that sounds reasonable enough.