Run, Bruce Jenner! Run as fast as you can! We all know you can do it, and you've got the medal to prove it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200! I can't even. I mean, I may very well be at a loss for words, and y'all know that is never the case!
On the heels of their separation announcement, Kris Jenner is taking every opportunity she can to share her relief over being rid of husband Bruce. It's really quite sad and disrespectful, but then again, that's par for the course with Kris, isn't it? People has the details of the pimpmomager's cover story for New You magazine, and in it, Kris describes what she would want for her one do-over. Hint: it has nothing to do with Bruce.
Kris reveals, "The one regret, if I had to do it over, would be divorcing Robert Kardashian. But then there wouldn't have been Kendall and Kylie, so that's the way I look at it. Everything happens for a reason, and we learn from our mistakes. I thought I was so smart when I was young; I was fearless." I am really holding back here, and it's harder than expected.
Sources reveal to TMZ (so you know it's gotta be true!) that almost immediately after the separation announcement was dropped Bruce went off to shoot scenes with Kendall and Kylie. The family is still filming season 8. And there's more: Bruce will continue to be part of season 9 (rumored to be Kimmie's last after she becomes a legit A-List baby mutha fashionista. #yeahright)!
The upcoming season will feature Kris and Bruce "living separately" but getting together for various family events – of which there will be many, of course. "The family is very conscious of the fact that they can make more in syndication," sources said.
The rumor mill has been buzzing for months and plenty of sources claimed that the whole "Bruce getting a pad in Malibu for space" storyline was total B.S. and it turns out it was! The Keeping up with the Kardashianscouple released a joint statement this afternoon confirming they are no longer together.
Today, Dina Manzo and sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita are acting anything but close, which shouldn't come as such a surprise, given that Dina has distanced herself from all of her fam…especially sister Caroline.
Of course, with the new rumors that Dina will be making a triumphant return to RHONJ, it isn't all that strange that people are whispering that Jacqueline has been given the ax by Andy Cohen. With Caroline starting her own reality show, Jacqueline would be the only person Dina would have an issue with if she were to come home to Bravo…and we all know how much Andy loves Grandma Wrinkles Dina.
Lamar's father Joe (who has appeared on several Kardashian reality shows and has a history of drug abuse) tweeted that Kris and Khloe Kardashian drove Lamar to drug use and called Kris an "evil bitch."
In case you weren't aware, Lamar is reportedly addicted to crack, among other things and was using all throughout his stellar (until the Kardashians got involved!) NBA career. Anyway, Lamar fired back SUPPOSEDLY, writing, among other things: "How can a man who has NOT once called me to check on my well being have the nerve to talk so recklessly about his own 'son'. He is my downfall!" Now Lamar is denying that he ever wrote a pro-Kardashian rant and claims his twitter was hacked! Now that I believe!
TMZ reports that Lamar's friends say he absolutely did not write the statement defending the Kardashians as his "only family". In fact sources say Lamar currently has no internet and was completely unaware of the statements his father made on twitter. He's also still in hiding and when people come to the door he "confiscates their phones".
"Kar-dashing through L.A., a pimp momager in tow, a baby with Kanye, a sex tape doesn't make her a —OOOOHHH Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! It's Christmas time with the famewhoring klan of K-W-U-T-K!" Altogether now! Wait, you're not ready to go caroling in September? Don't let Kris Jenner hear you!
In case you are the most naive and gullible person on the planet and/or have been residing under a rock for the last five years, you realize that reality shows are anything but real…and that goes triple if your last name rhymes with Kartrashian or Money-Spenner. Don't believe me?