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Kris Jenner

There’s lots going on in the Krazy Kardashian universe this weekend. On Thursday Bruce Jenner‘s son Brandon got married in Hawaii and while Kendall, Kylie, Brody, and Kris Jenner all flew out for the party, none of the Kardashian side of the family bothered to show up. Kendall and Kylie served as bridesmaids!

Instead they sent out their congrats the modern way…via social media. Khloe posted the following well-wishes to her blog Thursday morning: “I just wanted to send a HUGE congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiancé/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!” Kim and Kourtney posted similar messages to their Twitter and blogs.

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So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.

First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.

Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jenner psychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.

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It seemed like everyone on the East Coast this weekend dedicated their Memorial Day to grilling meats and seeing Beyonce in Atlantic City. Kim Kardashian, never one to shy from a bikini photo op, made it in, to make a few dollars at a random hotel pool, and also actually saw the concert. She used her Kanye West connection and got backstage and hung out with the queen.

Some random PR person from the Kardashian camp, aka a random ‘source’ tells US Weekly that the girls get along just fine: “Kim thought it was such a great show. “There’s always some random rumors there is tension between them and there totally isn’t! Kim had so much fun.”

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For all six of you that plan to watch, tonight is the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 7. This season the Kardashian-Jenner fam faces a series of heartaches in the wake of Kim Kardashian‘s divorce, but they also experience tremendous joy as Kourtney Kardashian experiences pregnancy no. 2.

From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”

The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.

Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!

WILL YOU BE WATCHING?

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Oh Kartrashians…you say one thing and then do another.  Perhaps that is why you are ridiculously hated rich, while I just have the privilege of writing about you.  Me?  I say one thing, and then, well, do it.  Even it’s just taking out the trash.  “I’m taking out the trash.”  And then I take out the trash.  But that’s just me, and my example regarding trash is in no way a comparison to your empire.  Or is it?

Just when you were regaining the tiniest smidgen of respect for Khloe Kardashian for shelving Khloe and Lamar in order to work on her marriage, you may want to rethink your stance.  HollywoodLife.com reminds us that Khloe and her famewhoring sisters stopped by Jay Leno this week, where Khloe dropped a bomb I was totally not expecting.

She told Jay, “I understand people have to sell magazines, but I didn’t pull the plug on any show, it’s not ending. I just said I wanted the summer for ourselves and to be with family and spend time his kids.  Tryouts are in the first week of July. They only take 12, but to be in the top 12 is like a Grammy nomination. I didn’t pull the plug, let’s just call it a hiatus.”  So does this mean there is a future for Khloe and Lamar?  Granted, it’s the only Kardashow I actually don’t hate myself for watching, but I was so proud to see her bucking Kris Jenner the system that I hate to see her back pedal.  But I guess it’s in the genes, so I can’t fault her much.

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Kim Kardashian just never stops, does she? The ultimate famewhore, who really defines the term with her desperateness, is now trying to nab a slew of A-List friends thanks to her fauxlationship with megastar Kanye West.

The NY Daily News is reporting that Kim is desperate to get on Beyoncé‘s good side. Kim flew to London yesterday to accompany Kanye during his concert with Jay-Z. And Kim’s motivation for the five-day trip has nothing to do with being a supportive girlfriend! “Kim wants to travel everywhere with Kanye, but she’s also trying to do whatever she can to get close to Beyoncé,” a source reveals. “So, if Bey and Jay are going, she’s going.”

Kim would “live and breathe to hang out with Beyoncé,” the insider continues. Sadly for Kim, Beyoncé continues to have no interest in a relationship with the reality hoegul – and neither do the rest of Kanye’s A-lister friends. Poor Kim was even, allegedly, banned from the recent Met Costume Institute Gala because Anna Wintour didn’t want her ilk infiltrating the classy event.

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Yesterday The Hollywood Reporter revealed their list of Reality TV’s 50 Most Powerful people. It’s no surprise that Ryan Seacrest, the American Idol host and the man behind the Kardashian dynasty and break-out mega hit Shahs of Sunset, landed himself in spot number one.

Beating out gazillionaire multi-hyphenate – and friend – Simon Cowell (who nabbed the 8th spot), Ryan’s reality TV endeavors rake him in an estimated $50M per year. I wonder how much he made on Kim Kardashian‘s made-for-TV wedding?

So what’s next for Ryan? The 37-year-old mogul just inked a $15M deal to remain on AI for two more seasons, he’ll be providing coverage for the summer Olympics, and he’s producing a new reality show about former teen idols, the Jonas Brothers. Oh, brother…

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They won’t go away, so I am doing my best to embrace them.  Who am I kidding?  Given the allergic reaction I seem to be having, that must mean it’s time for our daily dose of Dash.  First up?  A glorious baby shower hosted by Queen Bee Kris Jenner.

As you know, Kourtney is bringing yet another Disick Kardashian into the world, and her mother graciously hosted a soiree this past Saturday to toast the impending birth of Kourtney’s daughter.  Life & Style reports on the event.  I’m sure of course we’ll all get to see it when it airs on one of their many reality shows.  These folks don’t do anything without cameras present, right Ray J?

A source tells the magazine, “Kourtney’s shower was so nice!  Her mom and sisters were there, of course. They talked, laughed, and played games. There was a bar and lots of different types of foods and desserts, including sushi and little sandwiches.  She seemed happy and excited earlier in the day before the shower. Her son, Mason, was there, too.”

“Lehr & Black did Kourtney’s shower invitations,” adds another ‘insider’ citing, “They were beautiful.”

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