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Kris Jenner

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On last night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians things begin at Kris Jenner's house with the ever adorable Mason announcing he is going to kick his Aunty KoKo's butt at sword fighting. Can I just say, if this show had more Mason and less kartrashian fakeness and orchestrated storylines I think this show would become more likeable. Mason is adorable and the family is equally adorable when they are with him.

Bruce Jenner, Scott Disick and Mason go on a man date. Bruce is still enjoying his hot and steamy love affair with Malibu. I don't think it's Malibu so much as it is being free from Kris Jenner. Scott wants to watch Bruce fly one of his toy helicopters. Bruce believes you shouldn't be a spectator in life and that you learn more from doing. Scott is all for it. #WordsOfWisdomByBruce

On a different note, Bruce asks Scott how he is doing since the sudden and tragic loss of both his parents. Scott reveals he can't believe this is his life now and he sometimes forgets they are gone. He even tries to call them sometimes without realizing no one will ever answer. My heart breaks for Scott. I hope Scott is comfortable with talking about his feelings on camera and this isn't the Kardashians abusing a storyline, because his pain and sadness is raw and real. To make a bad scene worse, Bruce tells Scott he is kind of stuck with them – family wise.

keeping up with the kardashians season 9

Sunday's night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was very different from the normal bad acting and over the top orchestrated storylines..or was it? Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner traveled to Vienna and had the holiday from hell, but on a happier note we heard baby North giggling & even saw the back of her head at one point! Also in a completely shocking turn of events, Khloe Kardashian did not say vagina once. I'm serious. She has outgrown it, and has moved on to repeatedly saying c*ck.. this girl must have Tourette's.  

Things kick off with Kim negotiating wedding details with Mason and a silent Penelope. Kim decides to bore her sisters to tears upgrade from infants and starts to talk weddings with her sisters. So far on the Kardashian-West circus wedding there are whispers of Parisian churches, luxurious chateaus and three costume changes. I think she has a ‘what would Elizabeth Taylor do’ type of theme – opulent, extravagant and over the top. I mean she is like Elizabeth Jr., already on to her third marriage! The real shocker was that Kim wants to wear all white; something tells me after three marriages it's time to retire the all-white gown. Isn't that customary? #EmilyPost

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kim kardashian dark blue dress

It was another busy weekend for the Kardashian-Jenner clan.  The family celebrated Khloe Kardashian's 30th birthday, hunted for $20 million apartments in NYC for Kim Kardashian and of course filmed it all for their reality show and showed off some interesting fashions for the cameras. 

Khloe turned 30 and celebrated with two birthday parties.  At the first soiree, her boyfriend-but-not-boyfriend French Montana gifted her with jewelry (a ring and two sets of grillz) and a Jeep Sahara, totaling over $100,000.  The second party was held aboard a yacht.

In between Khloe's two birthday bashes, Kim and her family went apartment hunting in NYC.  Kim is reportedly looking for a $20+ million dollar home with more privacy.  <insert reality camera joke here>

Khloe Kardashian

Another day, another rumor about her love life. Do you ever think Khloe Kardashian longs for the days when Lamar was normal and her love life was not constantly under a microscope? Well, those days are long gone and the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star is being hounded by two very different reports about her personal life.

In the first one, a college coed is accusing her rumored beau of the last few months, French Montana, of trying to put the moves on her while Khloe was in L.A. at Kidchella — AKA North West's first birthday party.

In the second report, Khloe's momager, Kris Jenner, claims that Khloe and French are just 'homies.' (Note to Kris Jenner — at a certain age no one and I mean NO ONE should say the word 'homies')

So are they together or aren't they? If they aren't then can't he do whatever he wants with coeds? And, if they are just 'homies,' then why are they attached at the hip?

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kimye-north-party

Kim Kardashian celebrated North West's first birthday today with a backyard bash she dubbed "kidchella." 

The birthday party featured a Ferris wheel, teepees and a bouncy house – and custom Yeezus shirts for kids.  Seriously.  Kim, Kris Jenner and Khloe shared photos of the festivities, including a video of Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner rocking out on a mini-stage.  No photos of the birthday girl, though.  The family seemed to be most impressed with the Ferris wheel as all of them shared the same photo on Instagram. 

I have to say that I'm a little shocked that it wasn't more elaborate, at least from what they've shared so far.  I was expecting even more than this. A full sized Ferris wheel is pretty over-the-top, but this is Kimye we're talking about.  Was Kanye even there? Or was he still in France? Khloe and Kourtney flew home last night.  I wonder if that means they're already done filming their spinoff in the Hamptons or if they'll be heading back. 

UPDATED: Look! Kim and Kanye and North WERE in attendance.  They must've been busy Photoshopping the picture to perfection (like their wedding photo) before posting it! 

Check out the pictures below. 

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After the second episode back on Keeping up with the Kardashians, I believe that it has become clear this show should be retitled Keeping up With Kris Jenner – with cameo appearances made by relatives and ex-husbands. The episode kicks off with the ever adorable Penelope and Mason Disick. Oh Ryan Seacrest you know how to lure us in!

Khloe Kardashian is on a mission to get Miss Penelope to say her name. Naturally she decides to use food as a bargaining chip. Not just any food; she’s using ice-cream and sprinkles! Unfortunately for Aunt Khloe, Penelope suffers from selective mutism and shows no interest in Ko-Ko’s tactics. Miss Penelope has better will power than I do, that’s for sure!

Kris Jenner at Kardashian Khaos at the Mirage

Who doesn't love listening to Kris Jenner wax poetic about just how amazing Kim Kardashian's wedding was to tiny rapper Kanye West? I know I can't get enough of it. However, I've been waiting for her to tackle the real hard-hitting issues from the ceremony and reception.

I don't care about the golden porta-potties or the tantrums, I want to know about the things that really matter. I want to know how Kris felt about Bey and Jay skipping out on the tacky affair. I want to know what in holy hell Jaden Smith was thinking when he dressed in a silver Batman costume for the event. Really? I think it's time his parents decide to actually implement some rules with their children. Uncle Phil would be sorely disappointed. Rest in peace. 

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kuwtk-ladies

Sunday night we saw the premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians. We learned that Kourtney lacks emotions, Khloe likes talking about Vajay-jay’s, Kim loves Kanye mirrors and Kris is still dying to be the fourth Kardashian sister.

The episode starts with Khloe talking about her divorce and how she is handling it. Her description of how she is dealing with it sounds a lot like denial. Khloe decides jumping on her trampoline and hanging out at Casa de Kris is the best way to combat an ugly divorce, that and constantly referencing how her va jay-jay is trying to swallow her itty bitty daisy dukes. Yes Khloe, we’ve all seen your camel toe. Side note: did Khloe just say Kim looks like Paula Abdul? Poor Paula, she doesn’t deserve that.

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