After a long, protracted, repetitive, and drawn-out season, Vanderpump Rules ended where it always does – in the beginning, with a tale of woe of Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder; two ships crossing in the night during a tsunami. Jax and Stassi didn’t have drama together (although Jax was gobsmacked by seeing Patrick in the flesh), but the epicenter of this show has always been Jax and Stassi.
Honestly it should because they’re both tragicomic heroes. Two people so miscalculating in their own effects, yet squandering so much potential that it almost makes me feel bad for them. All the characters on this show are like that to a degree, but none so poignantly as Jax or Stassi, one, a star-crossed failure, and the other a star-crossed hater who idealizes murder because she can’t confront her own painful insecurities.
As annoying as it has been, it’s going to be tough letting go of Scheana Marieand Rob Valletta’s relationship next season on Vanderpump Rules. Scheana’s constant bragging about Rob (and his ability to hang a television in less than 7 seven minutes) has been surprisingly entertaining.
Scheana and the 7-minute man split up after Season 6 finished filming. Now she is dishing on both the breakup and the Rob-sessed bragging that the viewers were subjected to all season long.
It seemed like Scheana finally found her own close friends in Ariana Madixand Lala Kent, but now that the two of them are on better terms with the Witches of WeHo- aka Stassi, Kristen, and Katie- how does Scheana feel about that? Scheana and Ariana are still cool, but that is not the case for Scheana and Lala. Not only that, but Scheana credits herself for getting Lala back on the show after she walked away from it during Season 5.
Let’s be honest: Vanderpump Rules is the gift that keeps on giving. Don’t get me wrong, I love (almost) every single show on Bravo, but I don’t “like” them all equally. Some of them have been slacking with the recent seasons.
Vanderpump Rules has more going on in one episode than most Real Housewivesshows do in an entire season. I’m looking at you, Beverly Hills Housewives. The story lines just keep on coming. So of course, Tom Sandoval was asked about 98484838737 different topics during his appearance on Watch What Happens Livelast night. There was just so much to address from this season alone.
Here’s what I was doing instead of writing a Vanderpump Rules recap: researching Captain Picard cookie cutters on the internet. But honestly, that might not be so far off-base. Any Star Trek TNG fans out there? Well, you should be – it would be super great if Captain Picard could beam down and save this mess from itself, because NO ONE interesting this season. Except James Kennedy, but that’s beside the point.
I’m supposed to be all bent out of shape and emotionally invested because Jax Taylor finally manned up enough to dump Brittany Cartwright. She reacted by storming out of their apartment amid a stream of twang-laced obscenities (which sounds like what happens when you mix Tang with beer from an aluminum can) and Jax reacted by stress-eating himself a piece of greasy leftover pizza then strolling down the hall to Tom and Katie’s.
As a self-proclaimed reality TV connoisseur, I can’t help thinking that there are few thing more frustrating than a pivotal moment occurring away from the cameras. This means that we will (most likely) never have proof of what actually happened.