On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, the Toms demonstrated that age is just a number and even when you’re 35, you can still pretend to be 21 with no responsibilities. I guess when you have stunted bartender jobolescence, growing up is hard to do! Even if you have “buishischeness deschisions” to make!
SUR is back in action with a facelift, because Lisa Vanderpump turns raging fires into restaurant redesign, and everything winds up looking a little fresher and sparklier. The new chandelier at SUR has the added benefit of making everyone look younger. Tom and Jax look positively like their first season selves. Too bad all Hollywood ‘facelifts’ don’t turn out so well! This is all a prequel to Tom Tom, which the Toms will get a larger taste of during their ‘work trip’ to Vegas.
Lisa will show Tom 1 and Tom 2 “a day in the life of the Vanderpump regime.” Which is more than just design elements, but showing them what running an actual business looks like. A business which has nothing to do with pretend statement necklace collection, or ‘online beauty blogs’ that get updated once every 3 months. Or at least that’s her plan…
At this point, all of the Vanderpump Rules viewers are well-aware that Lala Kent is done being friends with James Kennedy– whether he likes it or not- for now, anyway. She is done with him for hating on her man Randall Emmett and she insists that there is no way for James to get back in her good graces.
But what about James‘ girlfriend Raquel Leviss? I assume it would be awkward for Lala to be friends with Raquel if she wants nothing to do with James, but this show is always pushing conventional boundaries when it comes to relationships, so you never know.
I have no idea how Kristen Doutekept a straight face during her one-on-one time with Scheana Marie during the last episode of Vanderpump Rules. She walked into Scheana listening to her own song and wearing and “R” necklace in honor of her then-boyfriend Rob Valletta.
Then she had to listen to Scheana drone on and on about how she knows Rob loves whether he does or doesn’t tell her so. Scheana even shared that she planned to name their first daughter Madison Marie Parks Valletta. Props to Kristen for keeping her composure during that interaction. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to hold in my laughter.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was a matter of love and death. In the complete and utter trainwreck that is watching Scheana Marie transcend from Stage Five Clinger to total stalker and future subject of Snapped (or her own Lifetime Movie Of The Week). Jax Taylor was literally drowning (*well kinda) but Scheana was drowning in her own delusion and Rob Valetta is not about to be dragged under with her.
Thankfully Rob can swim perfectly, and amazingly, and better than anyone in the whole wide word even Michael Phelps, and he can also save people with his boogey board of life! Just ask Jax!
There was so much relationship dysfunction last night that the thought of looking through a Choose Your Own Designer Vagina catalog seems like the lesser of evils. Yes, that is a thing, but you have to be willing to travel to Thailand to get it installed… Do they make any that are STD resistant?
It feels like a lifetime ago since Kristen Doute couldn’t stand being in the same room as Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix. Now everything seems to be copacetic between Kristen, her ex, and his current girlfriend, so much so that she actually wants to get into business with Tom.
Well, not just Tom. Kristen thinks that she has a lot to offer to the Tom Tom restaurant that Lisa Vanderpump is trying to open with Sandoval and Tom Schwartz. That seems like a total stretch considering that Lisa is far from Kristen’s biggest fan, but maybe things change during the rest of the season?
We need more of Scheana Marie’s mom Erika van Olphen on Vanderpump Rules. Sure, we’ve seen her and Scheana go for manicures here and there, but based on social media, I would like her to have a recurring role on the show. With the constantly shifting cast dynamic, Scheana seems like the odd girl out these days and she could really use someone in her corner.