Remember when Stassi Schroeder told the world, “I am the Devil. And don’t you forget it”…? Well, on this week’s Vanderpump Rules, she’s baaaaaaaaaack! The Return of Stassi is poised to shake up frenemy circles at SUR this Monday, but viewers are uncertain about what Stassi’s presence will really mean for cast dynamics. Will Stassi’s head spin around? Will she Jedi-mind-control Jax Taylor into tattooing her name on his forehead? Will she levitate new girl Lala Kent above the sticky tables of SUR, slamming her into the ice machine, Kylo Ren style? (A girl can dream!!!)
Sadly, previews suggest what Stassi really does on the upcoming VPR is a whole lot of whimpering and grovelling, perhaps in an attempt to ingratiate herself to the friends and former boss who she’d formerly cut out of her life. But not everyone is buying what Stassi is selling. Except for Kristen Doute, who claims, “I was really excited,” adding, “I think I was the only one.”
The drama begins on the airplane where James Kennedy tried to get Lala Kent to join the Mile High Club. It only gets marginally better from here but we should get the worst thing out of the way first. Lala did not join the Mile High Club. At least not with James on that airplane.
The group is all couples now, proof to Scheana Marie that they’re growing up. Something Scheana seems sad about as Shay lumbers around, perpetually in the shadow of her massive, fluttering ego. Not the pretty picture to adorn her Hoarders for Narcissists hovel!
Jax apologizes for the train wreck that was Lala Kent and James Kennedy on Watch What Happens Live a few weeks ago, “I apologize on behalf of our cast after that mess.” When asked about the “secret” Lala claims to know about Jax (and James threw out the word herpes), he says, “They’re hitting below the belt. They’re reaching for something that’s not there. I think she is disappointed that I didn’t follow through with hooking up with her, so she was just reaching.”
Tom Sandoval has a lot to say about this season’s Vanderpump Rules. Between Kristen Doute’s “Apology Tour” in full swing and the group’s fallout over the Hawaii trip, lines of friendship among the VPR cast have been a bit blurred as of late. But Tom maintains that what we see isn’t always the whole truth. This week I got a chance to chat with Tom about his reaction to recent episodes that largely paint girlfriend Ariana Madix and him as grudge-holding-Stassis (well, at least according to Katie Maloney!). Read on to hear about how Tom feels betrayed by Scheana Marie, and how he expected more from the group of people he still considers friends.
So, after these last few episodes, do you have anything you’d like to clear up?
Tom: “It’s been really strange, really weird with the group. It’s been a lot of propaganda, for lack of a better term. This whole thing with Jax [Taylor] and me and this birthday trip, you know, we got together like 3 weeks prior – maybe a month – and talked about who was going to go.”
“Jax even brought it up himself; he was like, ‘Obviously, Kristen’s not going to go. That doesn’t make much sense.’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, that would be really weird.’ It was so nonchalant. Just an obvious answer.”
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.
Above: Claudia Jordan: “Good seeing NeNe Leakes! Congrats on all the blessings! #Respect #FashionPolice #TheNext15 #GirlPower #IfWeAintHoldintGrudgesNeitherShouldYouGuys.”
Last night on Vanderpump Rules there were boobs, butts, and bad friends galore. You know, the usual!
It’s official I cannot stand Scheana Marie! Her ‘Nu-Stassi‘ routine is pathetic; she’s a totally disloyal, whiny, shit-stirring, biatch who needs to stop taking makeup tips from My Little Pony. Lord with those false eyelashes – you could practically fly with those things! In fact maybe that’s an idea – fly, fly away, Scheana. Take Kristen Doute with you.
Tom 2 and Katie Maloney are celebrating their engagement, which included burned taquitos sexytimes. Stassi Schroeder sent Katie a phony text congratulating her and whining that she wasn’t a part of it. Poor Stassi – she ditched all her friends but now is sad they don’t like her anymore. Poor Little Bitch Girl Problems!
Andy asks Kristen if she wants to say anything about Lala Kent‘s “less than” comments about James Kennedy‘s penis. “I think Lala would go for anything with a man situation, regardless of shape, size, or color.”
Next topic, Jax Taylor, who poops (this week) and lies (every week) on camera. Andy wonders if he’s passive aggressively trying to getBrittany Cartwright to regret moving in with him. “I know a couple of the episodes have bothered her,” says Scheana. “I do not keep my mouth shut <understatement of the century> so I give her a head’s up on everything.”