It’s just four days until the fantasy nuptials of the future Mr. and Mrs. Kroy Biermann. As the time runs out, drama amps up…but it’s no longer mama drama on Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding. Jen has become the MOH who is MIA.
Just like with every episode, the show begins with Kim Zolciak talking to the adorbs K.J. She is complaining to him about how lax her matron-of-honor Jen is being, and he is just giggling away in his Spiderman hoodie. Kim can’t dwell on slack attendants for long, she has tent issues to worry about. Severe tent issues that drive her to drink white zinfandel before lunchtime. Kim has visions of covering the pool and and getting hitched under a gazebo which will sit atop the jacuzzi. She never ever ever ever had dreams of a tent in her backyard to shield guests from potential bad weather.
On last night’s Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding, we are (yea!) one week closer to Kim Zolciak’s wedding extravaganza! There is vow writing, there is portable toilet shopping, and there is a potentially faux peace treaty forged between Kim and her wedding-ruining mother.
Can I just say that K.J. is a Kroy Biermann mini-me? I love the premise of Kim talking to him at the start of each show. That skull and crossbones knit cap is just too much!
Kim is wearing a belly baring pleather shirt and meeting up with her Uncle John who apparently lives in my neck of the woods. She starts in on her mother, and John is quick to remind her that she’s about to talk crap about his sister. Kim shares that her mom is threatening to be sick on her wedding day, and John reminds her that she is very particular. Kim’s mom Karen informed John of her threats, and John reveals that his sister is no longer talking to him after he put in his two cents. Wait, did Kim just spit out some gum at the table? John believes that Kim and Karen are too similar, hence the tension. The pair gets teary remembering John’s battle with cancer and how he promised not to leave her until she was married. Kim asks him to accompany her dad in walking her down the aisle. Wow, Kim has a heart on this show!
I must say that I love the conversations between Kim and KJ. Poor kid doesn’t even know he’s part of reality history…but at least he gets to wear a sweet cap. Kim’s excited about planning the wedding, but her mother is causing her major stress. Brielle is having her hair did done for her homecoming dance. Holy crap, for my high school dances, I didn’t have hair and make-up, I had my mom zipping up my JC Penny’s dress…and that’s it. Kim threatens Brielle’s boyfriend of two months, asking if he’s ever grabbed her daughter’s butt. Brielle can’t win, stating she’s never made out with her beau, but she has pecked him on the mouth. Kim is dreading having so many kids and parents at her house pre-dance, but it’s adorable to see Kroy’s relationship with his soon-to-be stepdaughter.
Kim visits Rose the psychic, who tells her that Kroy’s parents don’t like her or want the wedding to happen. I loved the way Rose’s husband answered when Kim asked if he was coming to the wedding. It was the most unconvincing “sure” I’ve ever heard. I predict he’ll skip that mess.
Kim Zolciak has been playing coy about the sex of her new baby, saying she wasn’t sure if she was going to tell the public. Well, apparently that was code for… until she got paid for an exclusive!
The Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding star just announced that she and husband Kroy Biermann will be welcoming a second baby boy into the world this August and they could not be more excited. Pretty soon they’ll have a whole football team! “Kroy and I are so excited,” Kim shared with Life & Style. “To decide we wanted to get pregnant again and have it happen so quickly was such a blessing.”
“We didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy, we just want a healthy baby,” Kim added. “We’ll save money since we already have all this boy stuff.”
Also excited, Kim’s two daughters Brielle and Ariana. “They are so excited,” Kim says. “Two boys and two girls; it’s just a blessing — perfect!” I guess Kim’s uncannily reliable psychic Rose got it wrong this time!
Congratulations Kim and Kroy! Best of luck with the newest addition to your family!
Everything seems to be coming up roses in Kim Zolciak‘s world. She’s married, she’s having a baby, and Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding wasn’t a complete flop – even if people only watched out of morbid curiosity.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kim’s new spin-off premiered to some pretty solid ratings. The two half-hour long series openers garnered about 1.55 million viewers! Not bad for a new show!
And since everything else is perfect in Kimlandia, it’s time to fix her fallen friendship with NeNe Leakes – which seems to be fragmented beyond repair. Much to my and Andy Cohen‘s chagrin.
Kim recently appeared on The Wendy Williams Show where she confirmed – Real Housewives of Atlanta or no – she is not interested in rekindling things with The Neen. “She’s really changed, and she’s not funny to me anywhere,” Kim shared. “She used to be really funny.” Funnier when she was a moose or when she had a penis? Wendy agreed, saying NeNe has become “mean-spirited.”
The first episode starts with Kim discussing her future with baby K.J., showing him her bling and expressing her worries about making things happen in time for the perfect wedding date: 11.11.11. Kim is the first to admit that Kroy is a saint for putting up with her. Super true! Her rationale for the wedding date falls short of a tarot reader beating her over the head with a giant cornucopia. Kroy is unsure how he’s going to swing Kim’s dream wedding during football season. Kim won’t hear it–her first wedding happened on the beach in Destin, lasted ninety days, and (gasp!) there was no reception.
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Really, we could skip all the other parts and go straight to that, because it’s the only part that really truly matters. It went a little like this: Marlo walks out, rocking pin-straight hair and a dress with shoulders constructed from a bathmat (Project Runway challenge?). She sat down, said no one liked her once she became friends with NeNe Leakes, copped to her charges, denied having her bills paid by Mr. Ted Turner, confirmed she still had a lot of work to do learning etiquette, and then she came out with it. Kim, you’re a whore! Apparently this was in response to something Kim said on the show about Marlo being an escort (which is all but proven fact at this point) with a large ladyhole. All class, no trash!
Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. Marlo just came out and said it – ‘Oh, I think we’re cut from the same cloth… you know, cheap polyester, maybe nylon – oh, wait no… No, we’re not. I’m cut from 10-ply cashmere and you – you’re a whore. You’re just some cheap acrylic. Google my charges! Cause prison uniforms are totally made from luxurious fibers.’
Marlo had it all planned out – she was practically reading a script NeNe had written for her and handily printed up on Gucci stationary; except I really don’t think NeNe was involved in this – nor Bravo, for once – I think Marlo acted as the lone honey badger. Vicious, crazy, and totally entertaining in a sadistic way. That being said – she needs to leave the show. And really, really study that etiquette manual. Like, non-stop. And Kim should be her study partner.
So, Marlo prances out and somehow gets into a screaming fight with Kim about who’s a whore and who’s an escort. It turns out that now that Kim is married, she’s neither a whore nor an escort and that whole Big Poppa charade never happened. Seriously- anytime anyone brings it up she points to her ring and says she’s a married woman now. Ok, but like Marlo said, she used to be a home-wrecking harlot flaunting it on TV and loving every minute of it; waving that big ol’ rock around! So she was basically a whore, but really Marlo: Pot meet Kettle.
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