Run, Bruce Jenner! Run as fast as you can! We all know you can do it, and you've got the medal to prove it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200! I can't even. I mean, I may very well be at a loss for words, and y'all know that is never the case!
On the heels of their separation announcement, Kris Jenner is taking every opportunity she can to share her relief over being rid of husband Bruce. It's really quite sad and disrespectful, but then again, that's par for the course with Kris, isn't it? People has the details of the pimpmomager's cover story for New You magazine, and in it, Kris describes what she would want for her one do-over. Hint: it has nothing to do with Bruce.
Kris reveals, "The one regret, if I had to do it over, would be divorcing Robert Kardashian. But then there wouldn't have been Kendall and Kylie, so that's the way I look at it. Everything happens for a reason, and we learn from our mistakes. I thought I was so smart when I was young; I was fearless." I am really holding back here, and it's harder than expected.
Sources reveal to TMZ (so you know it's gotta be true!) that almost immediately after the separation announcement was dropped Bruce went off to shoot scenes with Kendall and Kylie. The family is still filming season 8. And there's more: Bruce will continue to be part of season 9 (rumored to be Kimmie's last after she becomes a legit A-List baby mutha fashionista. #yeahright)!
The upcoming season will feature Kris and Bruce "living separately" but getting together for various family events – of which there will be many, of course. "The family is very conscious of the fact that they can make more in syndication," sources said.
Meanwhile, her sister Kim Kardashian is probably jonesing to get BACK in the public eye with new daughter North. Unfortunately for her, Kanye West doesn't want to have to share his child with the world. Lest we forget, this is not America's baby.
For Khloe, divorce rumors abound on the heels of Lamar's alleged mistresses, drug use, and DUI. According to Extra TV, Khloe has found support in a rapper (Are we seeing a pattern…she marries an NBA player, Kim marries an NBA player? Role reversal!)
Sometimes worlds collide. Like when really smart and accomplished people team up with Kim Kardashian! Sort of.
Morgan Spurlock the acclaimed filmmaker behind movies such as Super Size Me is working on a new documentary about fame and celebrity.
Recently Morgan (my fellow West Virginian – woot!) was spotted behaving like a paparazzi at LAX as part of a mob desperate to snap photos of Kim. Morgan's rep told the NY Daily News that nope, he's not a fan or anything – it's all in the name of art. "It's for a project on celebrity and fame, It’s for a project that hasn’t been announced yet. He’s in the field shooting."
The subject of the film is apparently the actual behaviors of the paparazzi. From SPLASH, the agency selling the snaps, "Getting mixed in with the large group of photographers waiting, absolute chaos broke out when Kim walked through the arrivals area and although Morgan tried to even shoot through the limo windshield he still commented that he got no pictures."
As we say in the South, bless his tiny, delusional, in need of anger management and a reality check, sweet heart. Kanye West is at it again, Yeez Louise y'all won't believe the things that are coming out of the tiny rapper's mouth of late. First he's the greatest. Second, while he thanks Michael Jackson for paving the way for his most highest celebritydom, Kanye has far surpassed the King of Pop. Oh, and he's still roughing up paparazzi (but more on that in a bit. The fun stuff first, right?).
Us Weekly has the skinny on what Kim Kardashian's love really thinks about himself. On Monday, 'Ye gave an hour long interview with Zane Lowe with BBC Radio where he revealed, among other things, that he is "the number one rock star on the planet." Yup, seems about right. Kanye surprises no one by asserting that his life's mission was to push the limits of our interpretations of music, fashion, art, and culture. I knew it all along. Kanye is not just a rapper. He's an icon. Again, bless it.
While he admits that "there would be no Kanye West if it wasn't for Michael Jackson," Kanye is also quick to remind us that he's surpassed any sort of fame that Michael Jackson knew.
"Kar-dashing through L.A., a pimp momager in tow, a baby with Kanye, a sex tape doesn't make her a —OOOOHHH Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! It's Christmas time with the famewhoring klan of K-W-U-T-K!" Altogether now! Wait, you're not ready to go caroling in September? Don't let Kris Jenner hear you!
In case you are the most naive and gullible person on the planet and/or have been residing under a rock for the last five years, you realize that reality shows are anything but real…and that goes triple if your last name rhymes with Kartrashian or Money-Spenner. Don't believe me?
It's hard being Kim Kardashian, y'all. Not only is her entire being under new management (thanks, Yeezy!) with a new style and a new PR machine, she's also trying to lose her North West baby weight and figure out who will be the godparents for her daughter with Kanye. It's a lot of pressure for Kim, especially given that she's still in the throws of making a monumental life decision…should she get bangs again?
The IB Times dishes on what Kim's trainer has to say. Speaking on Kim's much anticipated weight loss (and by anticipated, I mean, who cares?), Tracy Anderson shares, "Kim is taking as much time as she wants to just be with the baby. She's not even concerned with working out. Kim is amazing as a mom, she's so connected. I knew when I was training her she would be a great mom. She was concerned with all the right things," adding, "Little North is beautiful, she's got the most beautiful skin."