I don't know about y'all, but I'll be thrilled when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West finally get hitched so all the speculation about when, where, and who surrounding their upcoming wedding can finally be put to rest…until we start speculating about baby number two, South! In fact, the only question I have regarding their marriage is WHY do I care so much?
Today's nuptial gossip brings us a totally new location for the big day, some strict rules regarding photographs (and no doubt surveillance footage) of Queen B and Jay-Z, and some hang-ups regarding that pesky prenuptial agreement. Let's start with that, shall we?
Well, I'll tell you where he doesn't fit…at the Penthouse nightclub where the above-mentioned klan was partying on Tuesday night! Fear not though, Lamar still has something in common with the Kardashians (and now French) in that he's being captured by E!'s cameras, which thrills him to no end, I'm sure.
Ka-kching! It's a kash kow known as a Kim Kardashian keremony! Unless you've been in outer space testing out Kim and Kanye West's honeymoon trip, you know that Kimye is set to walk down the aisle Memorial Day weekend in Paris. Kim has been adamant that her third wedding will be a more intimate and un-televised affair, but rumors are flying around that she is going to rake in upwards of $21 million on her nuptials and the surrounding events. That's a whole lot of flower walls and ugly dresses!
How is Kim kashing in on the big event? Well, consider her marriage to the tiny rapper to be like the Olympics or a local charity party. It's all about the sponsorships, y'all! Apparently people are willing to give Kim (and Kris Jenner, too of course!) just about anything for free to get some exposure. I guess it makes sense given this family is known for total over-exposure!
Dear Diary, Remind me never to cross the Kardashians (any more than I already have, at least). They always come out on top. Deserved or not (it's usually the latter, right?), the family always seems to get their desired outcome in any given situation.
It's no different this time around with the Keeping up with the Kardashians stars. The children of the late Robert Kardashian just scored a major victory in their year-long court battle with their former step-mother regarding the attorney's personal diaries that had some not so nice things to say about his ex-wife Kris Jenner.
It's all a numbers game for those krazy Kardashians…the number of viewers, the number of random items they can slap their names on, the number of spin-offs we continue to watch while we complain about how many spin-offs they have, the number of random Instagram videos posted by Kim–not to mention the number of million dollar weddings one person needs to have! Yes, you can kount on the Kardashians to like their numbers (bad pun…sheesh).
Of course, if we're lucky, it could be a numbers game for us too…as in the number days we can pawn Kim and the tiny rapper off on France (sorry, Paris!). If Kim and Kanye West are not above the law–granted, that's a big "if"–they may be moving out of the country for a while. Fingers crossed! I'm sure Beyonce wouldn't be sad to see them go either as their Vogue cover is on track to outsell hers. This must be stopped! Stop buying April's issue of Vogue for goodness' sake!
Good gracious. This whole Khroma Beauty thing isn't going to go away. The Kardashian sisters slap their names on anything and everything imaginable, and the one time they decide NOT to use their name is the one time the poo hits the fan. When Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe introduced their Khroma cosmetics line, the brand's parent company Boldface was slapped with a cease and desist by the real Kroma.
After the Florida based make-up company Kroma sued the Kardashian's Khroma for trademark infringement, the Kardashians changed the line's name to the oh, so original name Kardashian Beauty. However, Khloe wasn't happy about it…to put it mildly!
So what's the big reveal? Elementary, my dear Watson! I've determined that Kim is just being a stellar fiance to Kanye West. All of this Instagram craziness is just her way to make us all realize that the tiny rapper's Bound 2 video is an actual work of art. I mean, compared to Kim's latest postings, it is…right? Slow clap, Kimmie. Slow. Clap.
As the Kardashian family traumatizes Thailand with their famewhoring while they film for Keeping Up With The Kardashians they have been posting selfies and beach photos galore. Kim took it one step further by uploading a totally corny and embarrassing slow motion music video of herself posing on a boat. Really cringe-worthy.