Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.
In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.
Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta saw a dip in viewership on Monday night, with 3.435 million watching Mimi struggle, but VH1′s ratings powerhouse still won the night. The random Thursday night episode did not fare well, however, with only 2.158 million tuning in. But guess what… it still won the night!
Waaaah! Having all of mommy and daddy’s money and connections isn’t making Kendall Jenner happy, y’all! The model complains that the Kardashian name actually makes people not take her seriously. Um… duh?
In fact Kendall claims that she conquered the fashion world without help (not even from Kanye?!) and wanted to separate from her famous family. “I was like, ‘You know what? I want to be high fashion. I want to be taken seriously…People think that this just came to me. But it didn’t,” Kendall said.
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star continued, “What I have has almost worked against me. I had to work even harder to get where I wanted because people didn’t take me seriously as a model. Because of the TV show.” Quit the show, perhaps?!
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest
Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
It is bad news for Real Housewives of New Jersey and Game of Crowns. Real Housewives of New Jersey lost over 500K viewers, with 1.642 million total viewers (but only 994,000 viewers in the key demo) watching the holiday episode. The premiere of Game of Crowns did not garner 1.2 million viewers as previously reported. Actually, 666,000 watched the premiere and 516,000 watched this week‘s episode, and now Bravo bumped it out of its time slot next week in favor of Don’t Be Tardy.
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There is always another Kardashian product to be hawked!
Kris Jenner, the pimpmomager matriarch of America’s first family of famewhore is now releasing a family kookbook! In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites will hit shelves in October and will show you how you can eat to get that famous Kardashian derriere!
“I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris explained. I’ve only seen Kris cook once on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but I’m sure the family’s favorite restaurants are donating some recipes. Seriously – whenever they are eating on the show it’s takeout or in restaurants or complete crap convenience food (like Kim always eating Ramen Noodles!).
So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…