Does Kim Kardashian live in an alternate dimension (we should be so lucky…)? First, she gets excited about this bag and carries it around in public. Then she and tiny rapper fiance Kanye West start planning a honeymoon to outer space (although, if they actually make that happen, I'm happy to donate to the cause!). Next, the pair actually thought they could have their wedding at Versailles…because they are practically royalty, right?
What's next in Kim's land of delusion? How about a size zero wedding dress? Kudos to Kim for losing seventy pounds after the birth of baby North, but girlfriend isn't meant to be a zero. I'm not saying that as a comment to her size, but she'd look silly! She's supposed to have curves–she paid for them after all, didn't she? Plus, not to get all "soap boxy" but I think women put too much pressure on themselves and other women to maintain a certain standard, and it perpetuates a downward spiral both in fame and in the every day lives of us average Janes. Kim is just adding to it with her recent antics.
On Sunday,Real Housewives of Atlanta logged 3.695 million viewers. That's down from last week's 4.187 million but enough to make RHOA the top cable telecast (ratings wise) of the night. Not at the top? Keeping Up with the Kardashians! Season nine premiered to 2.569 million on Sunday and 2.142 on Monday. Ouch! Sister Wives saw a significant drop (2.0 to 1.44) this week.
On Tuesday, Teen Mom 2 returned for its fifth season, to the dismay of many Reality Tea readers. However the show garnered 2.756 million viewers and was the top cable telecast (ratings wise) of the night. Also, Dance Moms was watched by 2.010 million, and Shahs of Sunset saw its second lowest number of the season with 1.054 million.
Now that Kris Jenner is done with their marriage, Bruce is moving on to other things – and that includes branching out on his own!
"He's dying to do it," a source reveals to Us Weekly. "The show is close to locking him in." Kim Kardashian and Rob Kardashian both appeared on the show, although neither won. Perhaps Bruce can break the family curse?
It's hard being Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, y'all! With all this talk about space honeymoons and astronaut families, you'd think the folks at Versailles would think it would be an out of this world opportunity to host the attention starved couple's wedding. I mean, they should be over the moon at the prospect, right? Surely with Kimye's celebrity wedding guest list, it will be the night of a thousand stars! Too much?
Unfortunately, the not so royal couple's plans to have their nuptials at the beyond lavish 17th century palace outside of Paris may not happen as envisioned. Is this shocking to anyone? Why would such a historic and high brow location want to be tarnished by the Kimye name? Can you even imagine Kanye's wedding toast? Go ahead and try…you know it will be epic!
Kanye West, don't ever change. How would I be immensely entertained if you ever stopped saying all of the crazy things you love to pontificate about in public. Now he's reaching back to the most amazing VMA debacle ever. No disrespect to Miley Cyrus' twerking fiasco, but Yeezy crashing Taylor Swift's acceptance speech was the most epic low point for the awards show. Ever.
Now five years later, Kanye is chatting yet again about the incident, how it affected him, and what he's learned from it. Geez, Yeez, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" much?
Well, if this isn't exciting news, I don't know what is! It seems that Kris Jenner's horrific talk show won't be making a comeback next season. I'm kidding…the news isn't exactly exciting as I refuse to watch her show. Apparently, she's not "likeable." Who knew? I am completely shocked.
Perhaps now she'll have more time to spend with youngest daughters Kylie and Kendallsince dad Bruce Jenner is no longer living at home. However, I'm guessing that the girls would much rather hang out with dear ol' dad instead of being pimped out by momager Kris, but with this family, who really knows?
Kris Jenner has decided the perfect pimpmomager monitor is the trusty old Google Alert – I mean why actually parent when you can just get a ping in your inbox while getting a manicure or arranging another million-dollar faux wedding for one of your spawn?
"Sometimes that's how I keep track of these kids, because they're everywhere," Kris said discussing her parenting techniques with Australia's 2DayFM. "And if I don't have my little Google alert every morning, how am I going to keep up with these Kardashians?" See what she did there?!
Okay, okay, admittedly we all like to give Kanye West a lot of crap, but Yeezus, he certainly asks for it! Whether he's throwing a tantrum, gifting Kim Kardashian with a God awful bag (the value of which could wipe out most of my student loan debt), or planning honeymoons to outer space, he certainly invites the jokes. However, this new story that is developing is just downright horrible, and it makes me actually side with 'Ye.
Nobody puts Yeezy in a corner…unless, of course, you're a jackass eighteen-year-old who wants to gain fifteen minutes of fame by being a racist, gross douchebag. That, I can't tolerate, no matter how much I like to snark on the tiny rapper. Of course, Kanye didn't take kindly to the ignorant ass' comments, and he laid the smack down. Sounds about right…