Dear Diary, Remind me never to cross the Kardashians (any more than I already have, at least). They always come out on top. Deserved or not (it's usually the latter, right?), the family always seems to get their desired outcome in any given situation.
It's no different this time around with the Keeping up with the Kardashians stars. The children of the late Robert Kardashian just scored a major victory in their year-long court battle with their former step-mother regarding the attorney's personal diaries that had some not so nice things to say about his ex-wife Kris Jenner.
It's all a numbers game for those krazy Kardashians…the number of viewers, the number of random items they can slap their names on, the number of spin-offs we continue to watch while we complain about how many spin-offs they have, the number of random Instagram videos posted by Kim–not to mention the number of million dollar weddings one person needs to have! Yes, you can kount on the Kardashians to like their numbers (bad pun…sheesh).
Of course, if we're lucky, it could be a numbers game for us too…as in the number days we can pawn Kim and the tiny rapper off on France (sorry, Paris!). If Kim and Kanye West are not above the law–granted, that's a big "if"–they may be moving out of the country for a while. Fingers crossed! I'm sure Beyonce wouldn't be sad to see them go either as their Vogue cover is on track to outsell hers. This must be stopped! Stop buying April's issue of Vogue for goodness' sake!
Good gracious. This whole Khroma Beauty thing isn't going to go away. The Kardashian sisters slap their names on anything and everything imaginable, and the one time they decide NOT to use their name is the one time the poo hits the fan. When Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe introduced their Khroma cosmetics line, the brand's parent company Boldface was slapped with a cease and desist by the real Kroma.
After the Florida based make-up company Kroma sued the Kardashian's Khroma for trademark infringement, the Kardashians changed the line's name to the oh, so original name Kardashian Beauty. However, Khloe wasn't happy about it…to put it mildly!
So what's the big reveal? Elementary, my dear Watson! I've determined that Kim is just being a stellar fiance to Kanye West. All of this Instagram craziness is just her way to make us all realize that the tiny rapper's Bound 2 video is an actual work of art. I mean, compared to Kim's latest postings, it is…right? Slow clap, Kimmie. Slow. Clap.
As the Kardashian family traumatizes Thailand with their famewhoring while they film for Keeping Up With The Kardashians they have been posting selfies and beach photos galore. Kim took it one step further by uploading a totally corny and embarrassing slow motion music video of herself posing on a boat. Really cringe-worthy.
Okay, so this news isn't shocking, but it's annoying. It's another Kardashianshow. They just keep coming, and nothing can stop it. It's like a bad case of the stomach virus or the slugs that flock to my backyard when the weather gets warm. Kardashians, slugs, and stomach bugs…sounds about right!
However, while this news is bad, it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. You see, when I was first checking out Kim Kardashian's website, I was worried that we were going to be bombarded with something much worse than yet another show. I thought Kardashian dolls were coming. Can you even imagine? Thankfully, I didn't read things carefully, and Kris Jenner, if you're reading this, the dolls were my idea. TM. Don't. Please, please, don't.
The duo has already taken Miami in one of the family's bazillion spin-offs, and if it isn't broke, why fix it? Kris Jenner is determined to shove her offspring down our throats in as many ways possible, and this time the folks of East Hampton will have to sacrifice their summer for some reality vapidness. Somewhere the Countess is rolling her eyes!
And the backlash begins…Anna Wintour can't be surprised that fashionable hell has broken loose since revealing Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will be gracing the upcoming cover of Vogue. Sure, the magazine's editor-in-chief is the unlikely biffle of the angry tiny rapper, but I figured she'd stick to her guns about featuring Kimmie Kakes in the iconic magazine. Clearly, I was wrong! Anna even addresses her decision in her letter from the editor. She wants you to stop hating on Kim, y'all!
People reacted immediately to the announcement, with one celebrity going all vampire slayer on the situation. After learning the news, legitimate celebrity Sarah Michelle Gellartweeted, "Well…I guess I'm canceling my Vogue subscription. Who's with me?" Her diss was retweeted almost 10,000 times and favorited more than 12,000. Ouch. In light of SMG's sting, Kim's bestie Jonathan Cheban felt the need to respond. Of course he did! Let's begin with Anna though, shall we?