So what's the big reveal? Elementary, my dear Watson! I've determined that Kim is just being a stellar fiance to Kanye West. All of this Instagram craziness is just her way to make us all realize that the tiny rapper's Bound 2 video is an actual work of art. I mean, compared to Kim's latest postings, it is…right? Slow clap, Kimmie. Slow. Clap.
As the Kardashian family traumatizes Thailand with their famewhoring while they film for Keeping Up With The Kardashians they have been posting selfies and beach photos galore. Kim took it one step further by uploading a totally corny and embarrassing slow motion music video of herself posing on a boat. Really cringe-worthy.
Okay, so this news isn't shocking, but it's annoying. It's another Kardashianshow. They just keep coming, and nothing can stop it. It's like a bad case of the stomach virus or the slugs that flock to my backyard when the weather gets warm. Kardashians, slugs, and stomach bugs…sounds about right!
However, while this news is bad, it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. You see, when I was first checking out Kim Kardashian's website, I was worried that we were going to be bombarded with something much worse than yet another show. I thought Kardashian dolls were coming. Can you even imagine? Thankfully, I didn't read things carefully, and Kris Jenner, if you're reading this, the dolls were my idea. TM. Don't. Please, please, don't.
The duo has already taken Miami in one of the family's bazillion spin-offs, and if it isn't broke, why fix it? Kris Jenner is determined to shove her offspring down our throats in as many ways possible, and this time the folks of East Hampton will have to sacrifice their summer for some reality vapidness. Somewhere the Countess is rolling her eyes!
And the backlash begins…Anna Wintour can't be surprised that fashionable hell has broken loose since revealing Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will be gracing the upcoming cover of Vogue. Sure, the magazine's editor-in-chief is the unlikely biffle of the angry tiny rapper, but I figured she'd stick to her guns about featuring Kimmie Kakes in the iconic magazine. Clearly, I was wrong! Anna even addresses her decision in her letter from the editor. She wants you to stop hating on Kim, y'all!
People reacted immediately to the announcement, with one celebrity going all vampire slayer on the situation. After learning the news, legitimate celebrity Sarah Michelle Gellartweeted, "Well…I guess I'm canceling my Vogue subscription. Who's with me?" Her diss was retweeted almost 10,000 times and favorited more than 12,000. Ouch. In light of SMG's sting, Kim's bestie Jonathan Cheban felt the need to respond. Of course he did! Let's begin with Anna though, shall we?
Don't talk smack about Khloe Kardashian on Twitter unless you're prepared for an all out tweet battle! The outspoken reality star has never been shy about speaking her mind in one hundred and sixty characters or less, but who needs long multi-tweet diatribes when she can just drop the f-bomb?
This time around, Khloe is hashing it out (hashtagging it out??) with the producer of an Australian morning show who is claiming that the Keeping up with the Kardashians star abruptly peaced out of a telephone interview after being asked about sister Kim'sdaughter with Kanye West. Seeing as Khloe seems to love gushing about niece North West, I kind of believe Khloe's version of events…
Guest list? Check. Ridiculous confidentiality agreement for said guests? Check. Doing something about that pesky battery charge? Check. It seems that Kanye West can finally relax and enjoy planning his upcoming nuptials to Kim Kardashian now that he's pleaded no contest to allegations of misdemeanor battery and grand theft after some beef with a paparazzo at LAX in back in July.
The tiny rapper didn't appear in court yesterday for his sentencing, but he can put the incident behind him–on the criminal side at least–and focus on what's important…like whether he should let Kris Jenner film his wedding for Keeping up with the Kardashians.
If you happen to make the short list for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's intimate wedding ceremony (cough, cough), you're going to have to check you iPhone at the door…and basically sign your life away. Surprised? Not really! Kimmie's third wedding is going to be tight when it comes to confidentiality.
According to multiple sites, Kim's nuptials to the tiny rapper will be closely monitored, and they won't risk any guests getting Instagram worthy pics or vids before they can sell their photographs to the highest bidder…and E! can televise yet another one of Kim's big days.