Happy weekend, readers! I've got some pretty phenomenal news for y'all! Guess what? The Kardashians never do anything wrong. Crazy, I know! All the stuff we read about them is lies. Kris Jenner is not trying to find the next highest paycheck for her daughters and Rob. They are just a normal family who enjoys spending a little time in the public eye. The krew would be more than happy to maintain their privacy. Ahahahahaha! It was hard to even type that!
You know how I know this ahmahzing information? It's straight from the pimpmomager herself! Kris is letting everyone know that what we read in the tabloids–like the writings of her late ex-husband's journal–are totally false. In other news, daughter Kim Kardashian's dicorce proceedings are moving forward as planned after her attorneys failed to reach a settlement agreement with those of Kris Humphries. The above picture is her leaving court…what, praytell, is she wearing??
I'm thinking about using my legal and blogging backgrounds to start a special kind of celebrity-inspired law school. Contracts, torts, even civil procedure could be worlds more exciting if you're studying cases based in tabloid craziness…and goodness knows there are enough celebrity legal spats to provide copious amounts of study materials. I specifically remember studying a case in my wills and trusts class which involved a troubled stripper turned Guess model as she vied for her much older husband's estate after his passing. Ring any bells? I'd even invite Harvey Weinstein to be a guest lecturer.
Of course, all 1Ls would have to takeKardashian Law. Think about it…the class could cover everything from employment to divorce to defamation. Kris Humphries could teach part of the course in his off-season! Speaking of Kris, we've got some news on his divorce proceedings from Kim. Also, if you recall, Kris Jenner recently filed a lawsuit against her ex husband's widow Ellen Kardashian for copyright infringement, claiming that Ellen sold portions of Robert Kardashian, Sr.'s private journals which were willed exclusively to his children. This family is a plethora of legal insanity, and I have more to share with you after the jump!
Oh goodness. Something tells me that Kim Kardashian isn't going to be purchasing Ray J's newest sings on iTunes. The "rapper" is more famous for his personal life than any music he's ever made…although using the term "famous" may be a bit of a stretch. If you recall, Ray J was Kimmie's co-star in the sex video that many attribute to starting her career in famewhoring. Even though the pair broke up years ago, Ray J is apparently using his relationship with Kim to generate some buzz for his new song "I Hit It First." Classy title!
In fact, many are speculating that the cover art for the single is a blurry picture of a bikini clad Kim, and if that isn't fabulous enough, the "leaked" lyrics are a hoot. While there's a chance the rhymes may be fake, they are absolutely brilliant because they're so awesomely bad.
I am not sure if I know any family that loves famewhoring and lawsuits more than those krazy Kardashians. I think they'd literally shrivel up if they weren't constantly surrounded by paparazzi and tabloid fodder and legal pleadings and vapidness. In the divorce that has drawn out longer than the actual marriage, Kris Humphries will finally have his day in court. However, Kim Kardashian won't be there…she's got perfume to promote, y'all! Priorities. Duh.
In other Kardashian/Jenner news, the family that fames together files claims together (sorry, that was bad). Remember when Robert Kardashian's widow sold his diary? Yeah, that's coming back to bite her in the arse.
Newsflash! There is apparently one member of the Kardashian family who doesn't like to photographed by the paparazzi! Even weirder? This Kardashian is vehemently opposed to having pictures taken in situations where clothing may be optional. I can't wrap my head around it either!
While his sisters seem to bask in photographic attention, Rob Kardashian was recently fighting mad to be the center of one pap's focus. His siblings appear to love being photographed–the less clothing the better!–but that mantra doesn't ring true for the only boy in the krew. A pap snapped pictures of Rob changing for the gym, and Rob was quick to steal her camera's memory card. Yikes!
Another day, another math conundrum in the realm of the Kardashians. Kim Kardashian is helping us train our brains with some weighty word problems. The Keeping up with the Kardashians star, who is preggers with Kanye West's baby (duh!), is slyly revealing just how many pounds she's gained. Using terms like "only half" and "60 pounds off," she is causing my brain to fry with the computations.
When she's not making the public subtract and divide, she's being coy about Kimye Jr.'s potential moniker and how she wishes she had some junk food cravings. Pregnancy is the one time that she has the excuse to eat whatever she wants, but all the baby seems to desire is rabbit food. Poor Kim just kan't katch a break!
Can we please all cross our fingers in hopes that Kim Kardashian's divorce trial from Kris Humphries is televised? I know it won't be, but a girl can dream, right?
The reality star recently sat for a deposition, and according to sources, she declined to answer some questions. Apparently, Kimmie doesn't want anyone to know that she often tips off paparazzi and leaks stories to tabloids…but she didn't want to lie under oath either. Oh, Kim! We all know your silly secrets. 'Fess up!
You know one thing I've noticed? When Khloe Kardashian Odom is in the tabloids, it's usually some twisted rumor perpetuated by paparazzi photos. When her sister Kim Kardashian is in the tabloids, she's usually put herself there willingly in a misguided attempt to get more attention. Unfortunately for Kim, it never works out how she planned, and the backlash is usually hilarious for the rest of us.
Yesterday, a photo of Khloe hugging a man who is not husband Lamar Odom surfaced, so clearly the girl is having a scandalous affair…that, or she and brother Rob are participating in a rapper friend's fitness program. The former sounds more exciting though, doesn't it? Meanwhile, Kim is trying to rid herself of all things Kris Humphries before all of her love child with Kanye West is born. While I'm assuming she's trying to garner sympathy, hawking high-end designer shoes and a one-of-a-kind clutch to the highest bidder on ebay doesn't make me feel all that badly for poor Kimmie. Go figure. At least she's doing it for charity…a "portion" of the proceeds go to Life Change Community Church. You know, the church her mother Kris Jennerco-founded.