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Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper.  You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right.  It's the snowball effect.  And we're all dumber because of it.

Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband.  Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters.  I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time.  Sorry Mason and Penelope.  Y'all are officially old news.  Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child.  Geez.  I'll let Kim speak for me.

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Kim Kardashian rings in the New Year at 1 Oak Nightclub at The Mirage Resort and Casino Las Vegas, NV

It's a small world when it comes to reality television…even smaller when you're talking about Beverly Hills.  Everything seems to overlap, and the same is true when talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.  Those two are all over the place!

Of course, pimp momager Kris Jenner wants to make sure she still has the upper hand when it comes to taking care of her favorite daughter, and she's going to make sure she gets her way.  Also interesting is how everyone's favorite househusband helped the couple secure their new home.  We'll also hear from one of their uber famous soon-to-be neighbors.

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Y'all realize that, no matter what, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere any time soon.  That said, don't shoot the messenger!  Actually, today's Kardashian trash is at least humorous enough to provide some sort of entertainment.

Here's a quick breakdown:  Kim Kardashian doesn't want to still be married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth (but there is quite a catch!), and Kim and Kanye West maintain that Kimye, Jr. will not be a part of E!'s fall line-up.  Again, I'll believe that when I see it!  Finally, the young Kendall Jenner doesn't want to follow in her family's famewhoring footsteps.  Sure. 

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Kim Kardashian rings in the New Year at 1 Oak Nightclub at The Mirage Resort and Casino Las Vegas, NV

It's official!  Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are moving in together.  Unfortunately for us, the house is on this planet.  Despite my best efforts to convince Sir Richard Branson, he refuses to offer them a free space flight and leave them stranded on the moon.  I really tried to pull some strings.  Sorry.

As you all can imagine, the tiny rapper and his poorly dressed lady love (I have to remind y'all of this.  Seriously?) aren't just moving into any house.  To paraphrase a drunk Kanye, I'm gonna let you talk, but this is the best house of all time.  For realsies. 

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It's all about the Benjamins with those Kardashian girls, isn't it?  Well, hopefully they haven't peeved the wrong tabloid, because word on the mean streets of media is that Us Weekly isn't happy with their frequent kash kows for keeping the publication out of the loop about Kimye, Junior's existence.

Instead the magazine was stuck with a "Kardashian exclusive" about Kourtney's post-baby weight loss while the Internet was buzzing about Kanye West's baby mama announcement.  It seems that no one cares about Kourtney's flat belly when her sister Kim has a bun in the oven.  Sorry, Kourt!

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kim kardashian 201212

Give me a break.  The X Factor needs to quietly into that good night.  Is anyone still watching?  If you are, will you still be watching if the Kardashians over take the show?  L.A. Reid has already thrown in the towel once this season draws to a close, and rumors abound that Britney Spears will be getting fired for causing viewers to fall asleep while she's talking.  It's clearly run its course.

Of course, Simon Cowell isn't willing to face facts.  Instead, he's trying to salvage the American version of the talent show with an influx of new judges.  Unfortunately for Simon, he's dipping into a pool of celebrities who won't likely take the bait.  Oh wait, he wants Kim Kardashian.  She'll do it…and she know a lot about music, right?

Sit back and relax.  Let's delve into the X Factor's latest drama and then segue into some additional Kim K. drama.  Is she preggers?  Has she pressured brother Rob to go under the knife?  These, my friends, are burning questions!

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.  Oh, wait.  Sorry Kris Jenner!  It seems that high hopes for a Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick wedding extravaganza won't be in the cards for a Keeping Up With the Kardashians season finale.  What?

According to the rumor mill, Kourtney is still refusing to make things official with the father of her two children.  Seeing as both Kim and Khloe Kardashian offered up million dollar nuptials in the name of ratings, one would think that Kourtney would be on board with using her walk down the aisle to attract viewers.  She's not.  It looks like Kris may need to find a quick beau for younger daughters Kylie and Kendall if Kourtney isn't willing to use her relationship to spearhead the finale!  Gah!

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lisaEveryday Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star Lisa Vanderpump gives me a reason to love her even more.  I'll be honest, I wasn't on board with Lisa in earlier seasons.  It's not that I didn't like her, it's just that I was indifferent towards her.  Oh, how times have changed!

This season's Lisa is every bit as stylish and classy as she's been the past two seasons, but it's awesome to see her forming opinions and standing up for her friends.  Yes, she's brash and brutally honest, but she's also (in my opinion) totally genuine and grounded.  Not to mention, I love her wardrobe, her precious son-in-law, and the romance that is still totally alive between her and Ken Todd.  You just can't fake that kind of relationship.  She's real…and she could buy and sell me a thousand times over!

Not only has Lisa gained a spin-off (can't wait!) due to her RHOBH popularity, but she's also getting outside deals.  First up?  She's judging the Miss Universe pageant alongside Kourtney Kardashian's beau Scott Disick.  Did I mention that she's nothing if not honest?

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