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So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…

#IJustCan’t #hashtag #NoDash Someone is pranking the Hamptons, and this time it’s not someone being followed around by camera crews. Residents of the upscale beach community have been up at arms since Kourtney Kardashian, Lord Douchebag Disick, and family moved in along with sister Khloe for yet another Keeping up with the Kardashians spin-off. Now, someone’s gone a bit Banksey with their attempts to rid the town of the show.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey season premiere

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of New Jersey failed to draw a big crowd. The season 6 premiere attracted 2.14 million viewers overall. However, in the key demo, it was the lowest rated premiere episode in the history of the show. For comparison’s sake, season 5 premiered to 2.842 million and the season 5 average was 2.29 million.

Also on Sunday, 2.3 million watched Khloe move on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 1.212 million tuned in to see the series premiere of Game of Crowns, and 1.64 million, a season high, watched the Browns meet the Richards on Sister Wives. On Monday, Lizzie’s disastrous dinner party on Real Housewives of Orange County garnered 1.725 million, Mimi’s sex tape release on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta attracted 3.88 million, and Noelle’s pot stirring on Ladies of London logged 782,000 viewers.

As for the rest of the week, the Married to Medicine reunion shows averaged 1.14 million viewers, 2.2 million welcomed back Teen Mom 2, 1.131 million tuned in to see Carole’s birthday party on Real Housewives of New York, and 1.122 million watched the season premiere of Don’t Be Tardy. The series premiere of LeAnn & Eddie on VH1 didn’t make the Top 100 Cable Broadcasts list, however, VH1′s Dating Naked made the list with 826,000 viewers. So I think it’s safe to assume LeAnn & Eddie flopped.

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kim kardashian black lace dress

Kim Kardashian is doing what she does best: going on vacation and posting selfies of it!

The Keeping Up With Kardashian star is again atJoe Francis‘ Puerto Vallarta retreat to vacation with friends, but without husband Kanye West

Blessedly Kim does have daughter North with her, although North seems to be spending most of her time with the nanny while Kim suns herself and photoshops bikini selfies. Yes, Kim, we know you photoshop your twit-pics

Below are photos of Kim doing some topless tanning in an itty-bitty-butt-implant-baring yellow bikini. Isn’t tanning counter-intuitive to all the botox and fillers? 

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brody jenner reggie bush wedding instagram 1

This is rich. In fact, it’s amazing. Not only does it involve one of the hottest (in my opinion at least) reality stars, he’s making quite a statement. Brody Jenner, thank you for making my day. 

Remember when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West married in a ridiculous spectacle complete with one of the Pinkett-Smith children dressed in a Batman costume? Of course you do, it wasn’t even 72 days ago! Well, think back to who wasn’t famewhoring with Keeping up with the Kardashians during the country hopping shindig. No, I’m not talking about Rob Kardashian being a no-show. I’m talking about Brody’s dreamy mug basically snubbing his step-sister’s third wedding. At the time, I thought,  Maybe he doesn’t like weddings? But alas, he went to one last weekend…and it was for Kim’s ex-love Reggie Bush. I told you this was amazing.

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Celebrity Sightings In New York City - June 16, 2014

Kanye West seems obsessed with Kim Kardashian, however, not in a “love of my life” kind of way. Following their wedding, Kanye referred to Kim as “his ideal art” and the Kardashians, his new family, as an “industry”. Really nothing about his speech expressed love or admiration for his wife as a person.

Kanye only ever boasts about the status Kim, and her family, add to his life.

Now a new report, detailing Kanye‘s creepy control over Kim, has surfaced. Of course, “inside source” and “source close to the couple” type of reports need to be read with a “for entertainment only” frame of mind, but none of the claims sound too far fetched. Disturbing? Yes. Implausible? No.

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Kandi's Wedding finale

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in – and a lot of people tuned in to see Todd Tucker and Kandi Burruss get married. The finale of Kandi’s Wedding garnered 2.820 million viewers. That brings the season average to 2.49 million. For comparison’s sake, Tamra’s OC Wedding‘s average was 1.37 million viewers and I Dream of NeNe‘s average was 1.53 million viewers.

Married to Medicine‘s season finale attracted 1.917 million fans, which is a whopping 1.1 million MORE viewers than last week. Leading into the reunion specials, the season two average is 1.76 million. While I think it’s obvious that Married to Medicine cannot stand on its own (the numbers plummeted both times RHOA didn’t air in front of it), I think Bravo will grant it a third season.

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Kourtney, Kim, Khloe Kardashian Dash Store Miami Opening

If the Kardashian girls are famous for anything, it’s for famewhoring and a golden shower sex tape their strong work ethic and the sense of power they try to instill in other women. At the forefront of their empowerment movement is mom Kris Jenner, and, according to Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian, she’s been their best role model as a business woman.

The sisters will slap their names on anything that stands still long enough, be it dolls, clothing, or make-up. They are entrepreneurs, y’all. Kim doesn’t even care much about the reality shows as they are just a marketing vessel for the Kardashian brand. She’s a damn evil genius, isn’t she?

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Ladies of London

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and every show but Ladies of London saw a decrease in viewership this week. On Sunday, a teen-focused episode of Sister Wives garnered 1.246 million, and a bad trip to Vienna on Keeping Up with Kardashians managed 2.061 million. Also, only 812,000 fans bothered to watch Married to Medicine without a Kandi's Wedding lead-in, which is less than half of the prior week's audience. Ouch. 

On Monday, Ladies of London saw its second highest audience with 962,000 tuning in to see the Mapperton estate, 3.797 million sat through Joseline and Stevie's drama on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and Shannon and David in Puerto Vallarta on​ Real Housewives of Orange County attracted 1.770 million. On Tuesday, 1.15 million suffered through Kristen and Heather's bickering on Real Housewives of New York.

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