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Do we know the whereabouts of the Bling Ring? Really, are they in jail? Filming a new season of Pretty Wild (I loved that awful show #sorrynotsorry)? Collecting Hollywood paychecks as residuals for the major motion picture that was made about them? The authorities in Calabasas, California may want to find out what that crazy gang of kids has been up to as of late because someone has been ripping off the Kardashians.

Both Khloe Kardashian and sister Kourtney have been robbed recently…and the instances may be connected. Quick, someone call Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson because this could be a job for them (totally obsessed with True Detective when I'm not watching reality shows!). Seriously, it is odd that both sisters were targeted by criminals at the same time. 

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sister-wives-kody-brown-commitment-ceremony

The reality TV viewer numbers are in.

Good Numbers:  Real Housewives of Atlanta continues to interest a large audience. 4.041 million tuned in for the Bailey Bowl drama this week. The season finale of Sister Wives attracted 2.235 million and 1.916 million stuck around for the tell all special, bringing the season average to 2.025 million.

Steady: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills trip to Puerto Rico attracted 1.8 million and Basketball Wives L.A. logged 1.882 million viewers this week. Dance Moms and Teen Mom 2 consistently log strong and steady numbers despite giving us two of the most hated reality TV stars in recent history – 2.069 million sat through Abby's abusive ways and 2.222 million couldn't resist Jenelle's shameful behavior.  

Bad Numbers: 2.072 million fans watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians this week. That's a 500,000 drop from last week's over-hyped proposal show. Part two the Shahs of Sunset reunion garnered 1.044 million viewers. Do you think Shahs of Sunset will return with a season average of 1.272 million?

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Kim Kardashian and Jonathan Cheban in Soho

You know, as much as I blame Ray J for the whole Kardashian kerfluffle, I don't think Ryan Seacrest is totally without fault. After all, the E! mastermind keeps renewing their show season after season and promoting their shenanigans every chance he can. His most recent infraction occurred when he had Kim Kardashian on his radio show yesterday to talk about what she claims will be her "super, super-small intimate" wedding to the tiny rapper. 

While we're on the subject of Keeping up with the Kardashians star, some yahoo is calling Kim the "Marilyn Monroe of our age." Yes, you read that right…and for once it's not Kanye West (even though he's made that lame comparison in the past). Do people just throw around Norma Jeane's name without knowing anything about her? Kim is nothing like Marilyn…and would she even want to be? What a tragic life.

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Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick LAX

Imagine…someone in Canada thinks Keeping up with the Kardashians is too crude. Are we watching the same show? Obviously, I'm being sarcastic, although I am not at all surprised by the dirty mouths on Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim, nor do their thong pulling, underwear sniffing, breast leaking antics shock me in the least. How sad is that?

It all started with a "knock knock" joke courtesy of Lord Scott Disick on Keeping up with the Kardashians that aired on October 23 in the middle of the afternoon. He and Kourtney spent part of the episode using donuts and carrots to simulate a certain sex act.  Keepin' it klassy, those two! I guess I should give you the warning that there may some offensive jokes and/or language after the jump…you know, the warning that the Canadian version of E! forgot to issue before the episode in question!

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brody jenner

It's your update on all things Kardashian–you're over the moon, I'm sure! I promise to bypass any news about Kim and the tiny rapper, and only focus on some of the more tolerable gossip…like Lamar Odom professing that Khloe Kardashian will always be his wife, no matter what! I may even have some sad rumors for you too. Could the eye candy that is Brody Jenner (brother Brandon's just as hot!) be peacing out on Keeping up with the Kardashians? Honestly, he didn't seem overly happy to spend time with Kris Jenner just to get to see father Bruce. And finally, because, hey, everybody's doing it!–Kendall and Kylie Jenner are dishing on their new young adult novel.  Happy weekend, y'all!

Speaking to Us Weekly, Lamar reveals he isn't ready to give up on his marriage.  He says, "I love my wife. She'll always be my wife, no matter what. Who knows? We don't know exactly if [the divorce is going through]. Only time will tell. I hope not. But even if we were divorced, she would always be my wife," sharing, "Those were some of the best years of my life. Being married and being married to a woman I decided to marry was, besides having children, the most important thing in my life." 

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basketball-wives-la-season-three

This week's reality TV viewer numbers were all over the place. On Sunday, just over four million viewers watched Kenya's charity ball for Saving our Daughters on Real Housewives of Atlanta. That is a considerable drop from last week's record breaking 4.638 million but still above this season's average. 

The commitment ceremony nonsense on Sister Wives is not holding viewers' attention.  Only 1.825 million bothered to watch this week – down almost 600K since the premiere. Keeping Up with the Kardashians scored big this week with 2.574 million tuning in to see Kanye propose to Kimmy. Sweet. Now let's send these two to the moon. Forever.

On Monday,  1.952 million viewers tuned in for the season three premiere of Basketball Wives L.A. Meanwhile, both Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (1.711) and Vanderpump Rules (1.780) lost a lot of viewers this week - but Vanderpump Rules came out on top again.

On Tuesday, part one of the Shahs of Sunset reunion garnered 1.151 million, which is a drop from last week. The trainwreck that is Dance Moms these days logged just over two million viewers this week. Forever ruling the night is Teen Mom 2 – and 2.403 million heads exploded after Jenelle and Nathan decided that they were in a good place and want to make a baby.

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kim kardashian gray

Kim Kardashian and her sisters will slap their names on anything and everything, won't they? From make-up to accessories to their Sears Kardashian Kollection, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney have built quite an empire above and beyond their often annoying and crude reality television personalities (guilty, I watch the reruns!), and not surprisingly, they are going to keep adding to it.

Now, the sisters are announcing the launch of a kids' kollection launching at Babies 'R Us that Kim hinted about not too long ago when a fan asked her if she'd ever put North West in clothes from Target (answer: when hell freezes over). I guess you need to keep making beaucoups of money if you, oh, I don't know, decide to hire a full-time tailor just for you! Oh Kim. She's so down to earth!

What's that you say? The sisters are designing baby clothes? Kim is bankrolling a personal seamstress? Which to discuss first…

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bruce jenner blue hair

Here's some news that's totally going to shock you…the Kardashians are pillars of the truth. Shocking, I know. I should have told you to sit down for that!  Here's something else: it seems that Kris Jenner and her pals over at TMZ have had somewhat of a falling out recently. Why do I say this? The site, which once was all about some Kartrashian promotion and positive spin doesn't seem to be cow-towing to ol' Kris.

Oh, and guess what? The family isn't going away any time soon. Kim Kardashian has promised up and down that this will be the final season of Keeping up with the Kardashians. The show was renewed by E! for three seasons back in 2012 for over $40 million. However, it seems that they just don't know how to live their lives off the small screen because they have plans to return. Again. But this time without Bruce Jenner. Lucky us.

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