KUWTK

Kim Kardashian Bing

Dear Diary,

Today was the best day of my life, as I, Kim Kardashian, was named the most searched celebrity of 2014 by Bing. Me! Not Beyonce! ME! MEEEE! I love, err, everybody loves me more than Beyonce!

Sincerely,
Kim #KissyFaceSelfie

kris jenner and new man corey gamble. Is he using her for fame?

Hold the phone! Did y’all know there are people out there who think the blossoming new love between pimp momager Kris Jenner and her younger beau Corey Gamble is anything less than true and pure? In fact, some naysayers think that this relationship only seeks notoriety and media attention. Seriously people, are we really that jaded?

I, for one, think there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a krazy kougar with a man who clearly wants women in the spotlight. It’s a match made in heaven…or at least Ryan Seacrest’s version of heaven. Of course, in the wise words of T-Swizzle (love her, don’t judge), the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Corey’s ex Sheree Buchanan, ironically (or not so much?) of Atlanta Exes, is speaking out about the pair’s tumultuous relationship. 

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Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is currently in Australia to promote her new perfume (it smells like her specialty, oiled up plastic) while North West‘s “aunties” take her to the zoo and treat her to her first hot chocolate. Poor Kim is probably anxious to be home with her precious little girl again. 

HAHAHA. Just. Kidding.

Actually, Kim is headed to India and Dubai next. North? North who?? While in India, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians fameho will move into the Bigg Boss house as “a guest to interact with the contestants.” Bigg Boss is India’s version of Big Brother. Obviously, the Bigg Boss contestants lost a challenge, and Kim Kardashian is their punishment. 

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kris jenner and new man corey gamble. Is he using her for fame?

Well, well, well. It seems Kris Jenner may want to put a muzzle on her new boyfriend. The pimp momager matriarch has been stepping out with the much younger Corey Gamble, and he hasn’t learned that what happens (or doesn’t happen) behind closed doors should, well, stay there. In his defense, the Kardashians have invited camera crews into every aspect of their lives, so he probably figures that the beans he’s spilling have been caught on film at some point.

The thirty-three year old recently opened up Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s relationship (or lack thereof) in an interview with entertainment blog SandraRose.com, but it has since been taken down from the site. I guess you don’t mess with Kris! Thankfully, it’s the Internet and nothing truly ever goes away (take note, teens!), so we’ve got the scoop on what he said.

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Khloe Kardashian and French Montana

French Montana celebrated his 30th birthday last night with a few friends slew of reality TV stars. Naturally, where there are cameras, there are Kardashians.

Khloe Kardashian chose to forgo all underwear and wore a practically sheer Grecian-style dress, showing off a slit nearly up to her navel and a nipple here or there, on her body. Kim Kardashian wore her usual dim bulb blank stare on her face. Kris Jenner wore her new boy toy on her arm.

Apparently no party or event is complete these days without Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley, so they were there, as were Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago, Lisa Vanderpump and Ken ToddShiva Safai and Mohamed Hadid, Lilly Ghalichi and Dhar MannSnoop Dogg, and more.

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Kim Kardashian Bleached Eyebrows

In honor of Wordless (WTF?!) Wednesday, here’s a pic of Kim Kardashian‘s bleached eyebrows.

Kim shared this picture, captioning it, “About last night… #KendallsBDayParty #DontBeScaredOfMyBleachedBrows #ItsForAPhotoShoot” Hold on… I see a few spelling errors… #BringingAttentionToBleachedEyebrows #ItsForAttention #BecauseImAFamewhore There. I fixed them.

Kim‘s eyebrows are GONE and Cara Delevingne‘s eyebrows are drunk. That must have been one helluva party. 

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kim kardashian wants respect at the recode social media conference

Kim Kardashian is trying to make a name for herself outside of vapid sex tape star, dramatic divorcee, and reality TV harlot. The name she is trying to make for herself is Mrs. West: fashion savvy, business maven, who is a force to be reckoned with! And she wants people to respect her work. 

Kim is tired of not being taken seriously and blames Keeping Up With The Kardashians for putting a negative connotation on all she has accomplished

“I pride myself with my work ethic, and I work really hard,” Kim says. “I think when people hear that I might have gotten success off of a ‘reality show,’ they take that as a negative. We’re in our tenth season. We have more episodes than ‘I Love Lucy.’ We have so many milestones that people don’t think about.” Milestones… um… divorces, butt injections, child slave labor, and selling out your most intimate personal moments for attention. Got it! 

Kim says she is proud of the “well-shot, well-lit home movies” which is what she considers KUWTK and cites the ability for her family to “share” and treasure these moments on film for the rest of their lives. 

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North West

Good news! One-year-old North West, who is often seen wearing Chanel and sitting front row at Paris Fashion Week, will not have nice things just handed to her all her life. No. Siree. North will have to work for what she wants, says Kim Kardashian. A very delusional and out of touch with reality Kim Kardashian. 

In an interview with ES Magazine, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star insists she had to work and save money for things before her sex tape shot her into superstardom. “I saved up for this Dolce & Gabbana dress I really wanted, or, like, in high school these Prada shoes that my parents wouldn’t buy me,” shares Kim. “I remember they were $400, and I had to save for the entire year to get them.” Wow. I underestimated Kim. Her struggle was real. #sarcasm

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