Eileen Davidson managed to dodge most of the drama (what little there was) on this week’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But she still breaks the episode down in her blog, commenting on everything fromLisa Rinna’s QVC hustle to Lisa Vanderpump’s reaction to she and Kyle Richardsleaving their hotel in the Hamptons. As for the not-quite-sober ghost of Kim Richards haunting their Hamptons trip, Eileen supports Kyle’s wish to save her own skin stay mum on the mess, but does admit “the topic keeps getting dragged out” no matter how much Kyle wishes it away.
Eileen calls herself out on letting hubby Vince see her dress’s price tag while packing for the Hamptons. “Having Vincent help me pack clothes with the price tags on? AMATEUR move! Lisa R. texted me when she saw this episode, ‘What were you thinking? You have to cut those suckers off!’ I’ve now learned: Always destroy the evidence. I won’t make the same mistake again.”
The girls are packing, which means a secret and exalted Bravo ritual known as CLOSET TOURS!
First and foremost – unfortunately – we are in the mumu factory. Tucked deep in a corner of Beverly Hill is a tiny, cluttered, neon-covered, eye-searingly printed lair known as Kyle Richards‘ dressing room. Ironically one of the closet rods actually collapses under the kaftan weight and refuses to be put right. Girl – that’s a sign! Even Porsha, aged 7, refused to help Kyle put the bar back up – she shot mama a knowing side-eye that said, “Things happen for a reason.” MmmmHmmmm…
The highlights – OK, lowlights, are below. And no, we’re not bullying Brandi by PULLING direct quotes from her so don’t try it. It’s not our fault her truth cannons sometimes self-detonate!
First of all Nik is so freaking cheesy. He sucks up to Brandi hardcore and she takes the bait. Then they rehash every. single. dramatic moment of Brandi’s life, but I do like Nik’s voice and he asks insightful questions.
“I’m glad Yolanda suggested that we get together at this charming park by her house,” shared Erika. “It was nice to get her out and walking and to meet Kyle. Yolanda was right; we both have a lot in common. We’re the same age, we were both young moms, and we work in entertainment.”
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills I learned many important lessons 1) Lyme Disease is airborne via rude comments (and leaky silicone); 2) Gigi Hadid is a child prodigy in the kitchen; 3) Pink heels are a patented trademark and copyright of Lisa Vanderpump; 4) Late-night pharmaceutical commercials are correct: depression hurts; 5) 70 is the new 17 as pertains to male horniness; 6) swan attacks are serious (thriller starring Kim Richards coming soon – Swanado: The Revenge Of Hanky); 7) There is an uglier, more overpriced item in Beverly Hills than $25,000 sunglasses and that is the Cartier Panther ring; And finally 8) Erika Jayne is living out all of our ABBA disco queen fantasies – except we’ve never heard of her. I still like the bitch. She’s fierce. (note sarcasm of my language, but I do like Erika because she’s sassy and not easily intimidated, but still classy).
OK, well see ya next week – I gotta make sure I didn’t contract Lyme Disease from my TV. Cause like that shit is VIRAL. Even Kyle Richards may have a little bit of Lyme, or Munchausen By Proxy From Friends. I think that’s called ‘Keeping Up With The Vanderpump-itis” and yes, Kyle is quite afflicted!
After Kyle posted a rather awkward – OK hideously uncomfortable – photo of her with Kathy Hilton on Christmas Eve, it was assumed the family tensions that have yet again become a major storyline on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills were over. New Year, New drama, right?! Or not!