Sniff, sniff. Waving our hankies at Ladies Of London as it recedes on a slow tide of broken friendships, dusty castles, and tear-stained titles is all we can do now. Season three left us with more questions than answers. Like, is Caroline Stanbury okay with Sophie Stanbury and Adela King these days? (Answer: yes, according to recent Instagram posts.) Will Julie Montagu be able to stop vibrating long enough to save Mapperton, one Made In China tchotchke at a time? Can Juliet Angus possibly survive in London, sans Caroline S handing her marching orders?
And more to the point, will Marissa Hermer’s balls-to-the-wall press junket this week work in securing her a future spot on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Or at least a meeting with Lisa Vanderpump about hubby Matt Hermer’s alleged plans to open a club in West Hollywood? (Because if that sh*t ain’t transparent, I don’t know what is.) Alas, one final, painful question remains: Will Bravo cancel Ladies Of London now that two of its cast members are, well, not in London anymore? Although Marissa and Caroline S likely plan on spending summers back in the UK, that might not be reason enough to keep filming. Maybe a cast shakeup will come our way. But I refuse to accept a dire outcome yet. So, chin up, good people! For now, we must keep calm and snark on! Because this finale was a doozie.
With Cem and the children already in Dubai, Caroline S is holing up in the Westbury Hotel for her last week in London. Sophie joins her for a massage, telling Caroline that she’s relieved they’re back to being buds again. Caroline thinks that says a lot about her. Something tells me she isn’t all in with the rebirth of the Stanbury Sisters just yet.
After last week’s lighthearted fun-fest, it’s only natural that the reality TV gods demand some meaningless drama from our Ladies Of London. And this week, that drama finds its way to the Henley Royal Regatta, where Adela King just can’t take another moment of playing nice with Juliet Angus. Also, Julie Montagu continues to hold a grudge against Sophie Stanbury for quitting the role of Caroline Stanbury Hater #2. But Sophie isn’t about to jump into Julie’s stew of resentment anymore. I guess Julie will just have to bathe in her own royal-ish mess. (Perhaps she’ll dry off with a Mapperton tea towel?)
There’s also a steady theme of mothers and daughters woven throughout last night’s episode that, I’m not ashamed to say, really touched me. It was subtle and unexpected and, after it all came together in the final scene, seemed to elevate this show to a new level in my view. Bravo to Bravo for airing a show that while petty at times, never lets petty actually take the wheel. But it’s still a bumpy ride, folks…so, let’s get to it!
On last night’s Ladies Of London, there were actually laughs to be had! Real belly laughs! So what if these laughs involved dry humping balloons in cocktail attire? It takes what it takes, people. And I, for one, am ready for my Ladies to return to the sillier, lighter tones of seasons past, where petty dramas just blew away like the wispy smoke of a contraband cig on the front lawn of Mapperton.
But first, in Edinburgh, we return to the breakfast at which Sophie Stanbury tells everyone she loves them – except Juliet Angus, who’s about to unleash the bad juju with statements like “You don’t know negativity! I’m going to SHOW you the NEGATIVITY!” After Sophie quickly attempts a wimpy backtrack, Juliet storms out of breakfast. Upstairs, Caroline Fleming is making her bed to within an inch of its castle-dwelling life. Sophie seems to effectively calm Juliet down in the car later with a kiss and an apology. So, all is not lost!
Before we begin, let the royal court take a moment of silence to remember a season of castles and crowns, barefoot baronesses and earls of sandwiches, stiff upper lips and loose Julie Montagu lips. Ah, Ladies of London! You’ve given us more than grown women in onesies carping at each other; you’ve given us a fun and fancy trip around London and its outer banks, complete with eye candy shots we just can’t get in the OC, Atlanta, or even Beverly Hills. So, Bravo, if you’re listening: We want more! Let’s see a season 3 for Ladies of London, please. But let’s give it a shot in the arm next time, eh? Like a better time slot, solid promotion, and a little editing magic to really dress this Cinderella up for the ball she deserves!
Okay, let’s take our final stroll down this season’s lane all together now, shall we? After our opening montage shows the ladies getting ready for their day ahead, Annabelle Neilson calls on Baroness Caroline Fleming for a lunch visit. Caroline wonders if Annabelle has recovered from Denmark? Annabelle is feeling as if Julie has not been a good friend to her lately, but hasn’t broached the issue with her yet. But Juliet Angus and Julie join them next, so the conversation is bound to take a turn for the dark side soon.
Last night on Ladies of London, there were hats and fashion shows and horse races – and Noelle Reno whining about Scot's misfortune and how sad it is that the press doesn't love her like she's Caprice. A girls gotta have goals, right?!
Juliet Angusthrows a hat party to feature a milliner and because British girls like hats. And according to Caroline Stanbury, they also crave borrowing British traditions as Americans have so few. We do? Juliet's other reason for hosting this party is to reunite all the girls after the disastrous Fourth of July party which featured Annabelle Neilson and Juliet arguing on the street "like fish harpies" and Caprice trying to do everything in her power to insert herself into the situation for camera time.
Speaking of Annabelle and Juliet – there is still unresolved drama, which means everyone has to talk about it and talk about who needs to apologize to whom, who is at fault, and how they're all going to resolve this for the sake of the group. There's many more horse-centric events to attend, y'all – we can't have acrimony! It might displace our hats.
Last night on Ladies of London, the Fourth of July was celebrated and the fireworks were not in the sky!
Marissa Hermer is becoming a British citizen after five years of living in London. To celebrate her last summer as an official American, she's throwing a Fourth of July party – which is an annual tradition. Marissa gives us a long spiel about her party-planning/PR expertise and expects us to believe she's an integral part of her husband's success instead of some sort of glorified trophy wife struggling to make the perfect cuppa. Juliet Angus will be co-hosting with Marissa as part of the American invasion posse. Unfortunately Juliet is as much a flake as she is an attention-seeker so she's all about the fame, and not about planning.
Last night onLadies of Londonthe famewhores separated from the literal ladies (as in titled ladies) and the cream rose to the top, while the rest skimmed through the tabloids.
It's the seasonal opening of the Serpentine Gallery which is compared to the Oscars, as in the British version of, but I think it's mostly similar to our MET Gala. You know the one Kim Kardashian attended wearing a sofa from 1985. Anyway, she hasn't besmirched the British equivalent yet, but give her time and also there are many in her stead. For instance, Caprice who wore a dress bedecked with sequined cockroaches.
Oh Caprice. Caprice has found herself in an intriguing predicament. She is currently 7 months pregnant, but since she believed she was incapable of carrying a child she hired a surrogate in the states – and that surrogate is 8 months pregnant! At the same time Caprice got pregnant naturally. So Caprice is pretty much having twins from different mothers. She is thrilled for a couple reasons: 1) the obvious delight of having two children 2) the obvious delight of being able to sell these stories to the press for top dollar.