Le sads… tonight is the last night of 2012. Aaaahhh… it's been a good year for drama but a bad year for the explosive combo of fashion and reality TV! Last week we did a list of our best dressed reality stars, so it's only fair to honor the good and the bad.
Below is our list of the number one reality television fashion offenders. Oh, the list is long, quite long but since there are only twelve months in the year we decided to do one per month.
And we're back with the second dose of Basketball Wives LA Reunion madness. I don't know if you're considering it a Christmas miracle to get two recaps back to back or if you're wondering how naughty you must have been this year to deserve two helpings of this madness in one day. I hope it's the former. 🙂 Let's check in with John Salley and his purple plaid, shall we?
We return with the ladies holding up their cards sharing who should exit stage left from the show next season. You have captivated me, John Salley, that is for sure! Laura and Jackie's duel is in full force, and I adore that John has finally stood up so that we could regale his attire in all it's Urkel glory. Who is styling these folks? Getting back to the situation at hand, the majority of the women are ready to get rid of the Sisters Govan and Bambi for next season. Most of the women believe that Gloria is too snooty for the show. Jackie calls out herself…just to play the martyr. She was concerned that most of the women would pick her (they didn't). Jackie says that even though no one may want her back, she'll be back regardless.
RT readers and Basketball Wives LA fans, please accept my sincerest apologies. I had no clue that the first half of the reunion was airing immediately after the finale, and for some reason my season pass didn't record it. I realize it's a week late, but I hope you enjoy the recap. The second half of the reunion will be posted later today.
John Salley introduces the newbies, and is it just me, or is he dressed like Willie Wonka? He welcomes Brooke Bailey and Bambi before touting the veterans, Gloria Govan, Laura Govan, Malaysia Pargo, Draya Michele…and of course, the lady who carried the season, Jackie Christie. John shares that this year the reunion will have some surprises and many more fan questions. Jackie is sporting her finest vinyl dominatrix attire. We revisit the beginning of the season when Malaysia was trying to get the girls on board with reconciling with Jackie. We all know how that went! Jackie reveals that she returned to prove that she wasn't the pot stirrer we saw last season. Uh huh.
Starting in with the viewer questions, John asks why Malaysia worked so hard to bring Jackie back into the group. Malaysia counters that she is an actual basketball wife (smack in the face of 90% of her co-stars), and her breasts on On Display, as Melissa Gorga would say. Another viewer wonders about Laura's evil behavior to Jackie, and Laura owns up to it. Her girls are also all out for us to see. I'm starting to notice that they all are…except for that random blonde chick…oh wait, that's Bambi. 🙂 Laura and Jackie get into a back-and-forth about Laura's need for tit-for-tat. Insults are hurled and John Salley can't seem to bring the women back into the Chocolate Factory. VH1, you are usually so generous with the subtitles….what happened?
Can you believe that we've finally come to the finale of this season's Basketball Wives LA? I feel like we've been watching the Jackie Christie Show for eons! Am I right? Needless to say, last night's show resolved nada, so we have to wait on pins and needles for the reunion!
We're back on Borboun Street, y'all, and Draya Michele is hella hungover, so she misses out on the cooking lesson with Laura Govan, Brooke Bailey, Jackie, Bambi, Malaysia Pargo, and Gloria Govan. I'm sure that Draya planned it. Jackie is visibly upset because she has just received a text message from her daughter regarding Laura's conversation with said offspring. I can't tell if Jackie is wearing a make-shift beret or some kind of homemade sock hat. Malaysia and Bambi are quick to wade in Jackie's drama pool. Bambi is appalled at Laura's behavior. Can someone please buy her a box set of last season's DVDs?
Over lunch, Jackie questions Laura about her intentions with her daughter. The other ladies take their cues and leave the table so Jackie and Laura can hash out their differences. Laura maintains a poker face while Jackie pleads her case about Chantal. Laura admits that she originally spoke to Chantal to discredit Jackie, but after chatting with Jackie's daughter, she realized her anger towards Jackie was misplaced. It was during her conversation with Chantal that Laura realized that she needed change her intentions. Her master plan was to bring down Jackie, but after speaking with Chantal, she knew that revenge wasn't the answer. Jackie is unsure of how to take Laura's confession.
Oh good gracious! Last night's Basketball Wives LA was a virtual assault on the senses. Jackie Christie raps and flashes her boobs. Brooke Bailey and Draya Michele are still caught up about the cover of a magazine that apparently doesn't even pay its models. Malaysia Pargo invites the ladies on a charitable trip to New Orleans, so you know that's going to go over well. Oh, and we finally find out the deets on the worst kept secret wedding of Gloria Govan. It's a lot.
Brooke and Bambi seem to have mended fences as Brooke invites her, Jackie, and Laura Govan over to see her new lingerie line Touche Moi. She then basically strips down to share a prototype. Brooke asks the ladies to start trying on things, which they do, so it's basically Bambi and Laura walking around in tank tops and red string bikini underwear. Didn't they want to wash it first? I will say, I am really liking Bambi…she seems to be one of the more level headed ladies this franchise has ever had, which is probably why she isn't a full fledged cast member in the credits. Nostrils O'Neal doesn't like women who are smarter than she is!
Stop the presses! Jackie is recording an album. It doesn't matter that she's never sung or rapped or even been in a studio. Today is a day of firsts for Jackie! She has asked Bambi and her giant earrings to come by and give her some pointers. Bambi is shocked to learn that she isn't absolutely horrible (she's not?) and she tells Jackie as much. Jackie, as you can imagine, basks in the wonderful honesty of her new best friend.
I don't know about you, but I've been waiting with baited breath for Jackie Christie's line to debut at New York Fashion Week. Can you even fathom the insanity that is going to head down that runway. Well, on last night's Basketball Wives LA, the ladies let it all hang out while working that catwalk. Apparently Jackie's line doesn't include a bra big enough to tame Brooke Bailey's giant chest, so she commandos it down the runway. Laura Govan follows in braless suit, but she's thankfully not about to put out her own eye…or anyone else's. But we'll get to that later…
Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are trying on Jackie's fashions for the show. Draya is beyond impressed with Jackie's pieces. Why doesn't she wear these kind of clothes in her real life? Brooke invites the women to a business deal, but she makes sure to get in a dig to Draya about the magazine cover shoot. Draya can't cover up her jealousy. Gloria Govan and Brooke are walking in another show, and Draya, Laura, Jackie, and Malaysia are going to be be supportive. Draya is confused as to why Jackie and Laura are being so buddy-buddy. Jackie wishes that Draya would stop butting into her and Laura's friendship. Laura thinks it's funny that people are concerned about her behavior towards Jackie. Her master plan isn't going to go down at a fashion show where she's supporting actual friends!
Brooke takes the catwalk…or the slim slice of floor not overrun by revelers looking like a poor man's Nicki Minaj. I'm sorry, but that wig is all kinds of unfortunate. Gloria follows suit and she's dressed in the outfit that Hello Kitty would wear if she ever decided to be a construction worker. Backstage, the women are being supportive of the models, but Draya backs out on a dinner celebration to honor Brooke's magazine cover. Draya feels like she's being a good friend by not going to the dinner where she'd be sure to be a pouty Debbie Downer. At Brooke's celebration, the other women wonder about Draya's absence, but Malaysia tries to play devil's advocate on Draya's behalf.
This November, I am thankful for Basketball Wives: LA. Seriously. They make me feel a wee bit better about my life. I may not have money or reality fame, but at least I've got great friends and family and don't look like a fool week after week for the whole world to see. That is definitely something for which to give thanks!
Once again, last night's episode was the Jackie Christie show, and I have to wonder why she doesn't just get a spin-off already! Fortunately for the viewers, the ladies seem to have veered from their whole meet for lunch/drinks/dinner/canyon/walks/cat fights premise. Sorry, I couldn't even type that with a straight face. We begin with Jackie meeting Gloria Govan for lunch to discuss Laura Govan's recent behavior. Jackie needs to get her personal life sorted out so the drama doesn't interfere with the most important thing in her life–her daugters New York Fashion Week. I am still shocked that she has a show. Are we sure this is New York City Fashion Week? In Manhattan? Perhaps it could be New York Missouri Proper Fashion Week? Jackie reveals that Malaysia Pargo will be walking in her show, and she had planned to ask Draya Michele as well. Gloria is confused. Doesn't Jackie hate Draya? Gloria is too involved in her webisodes. Jackie decides to vent about Laura to her sister, and Gloria totally flakes. Jackie knows Gloria is the mouthpiece for the group, but she hopes Gloria will be nice when she sees Jackie's clothing line.
Malaysia and Bambi are returning to volunteer with Educated Ballers. They have two high school girls they are going to mentor. Well, this is a refreshing change if we have to see a "meet up" with the women. Malaysia wonders if the girls would like to work in fashion. One girl would like to be a social worker while the other would like to work in a correctional facility. They are going to be roommates when college starts in the fall. I must say that both Bambi and Malaysia are good at talking to the girls without talking down to them. Malaysia is inspired. She wants their next vacation to be a volunteer endeavor, like building houses in New Orleans.
Can I get a slow clap for Shaunie O'Neal? She said she was going to clean up the violence and drama on Basketball Wives, and by God, she's going to deliver. Oh wait. Nevermind. Instead, Ms. Nostrils O'Neal fired the calm ladies and kept her violent, bullying friends for the fifth season. They say they want to redeem themselves. I think Kenya Bell needs to duck!
That's right, folks! Both wine bottle tossing, table jumping Evelyn Lozada and purse snatching, in-your-face screaming Tami Roman will be back for another round. Apparently, they've "grown" in light of recent circumstances and deserve a fifth second chance. Tami suffered a mild heart attack, so she has a new lease on life, while Evelyn had a short-lived marriage that ended in a head butt from Chad Johnson, so surely she's learned that violence isn't the answer. Right? Hello? Anyone believe that?