Lauren Burchnell

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Since we were royally shafted out of a Below Deck reunion this year, Bravo is throwing us a (very tiny) bone by way of a catch-up blog, highlighting what the crew has been up to since cameras stopped rolling and regrets they have from their days aboard Valor.

A few juicy details are revealed, but maddeningly, Kyle Dixon spills absolutely no beans about his shady shenanigans of late. Thus, we must continue to stalk him on social media for answers. Sigh. #TheTruthIsOutThere

Kate Chastain left the season on a low note with former friend and sometime-lover, Ben Robinson. Since then, though, she admits that she’s seen Ben from time to time – and that he’s had more than one lady friend by his side over the past months! What? Bemily is OVER? Say it ain’t so!

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Below Deck First Impressions

Season four of Below Deck sailed into the sunset this week; thus we are left with Captain Lee Rosbach’s final searing blog in its wake. Though a fair amount of drama happened throughout filming, Lee reflects that his crew didn’t seem to learn a whole lot from it. But he sure did.

“From a captain’s point of view, I learned a lot,” writes Lee. “For instance, I found out that no matter how well you feel you know your crew and how they will behave in a given set of circumstances, you really don’t know them as well as you thought you did. People I thought were loyal weren’t and some who I thought weren’t turned out to surprise me. I’m not going to get into names or specifics here, but I really was not all that pleased with our overall performance this season. And for that I must bear responsibility.”

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It’s time to bid a fond farewell to Below Deck, season four. Goodbye, Captain Lee Rosbach’s epic blogs! Adios, Kate Chastain’s Resting B*tch Face! See ya later, Kyle Dixon’s massively confusing backstory! Ciao, Bemily! Thanks for the forever scarring memories of late night snot snacking, Trevor Walker! Tragically, we won’t get to see the aftermath of this season’s drama play out on the couches, as there will be no reunion this year. To which I say: Pfffffffffft. Not okay, Andy Cohen! Why do you have to be so uncool to us, bro?

Last night, Kate continued laying into her crew, who seem to be using their last charter as a chance to slack off. After a pep talk from Kate, Emily Warburton Adam seems on board with ending the season strong. But Sierra Storm is not about to let this annoying stuff called “work” ruin her frightening permasmile. She chooses to passive-aggressively snark “sure” to Kate’s instructions. Maybe she just needs a hug? Emily obliges by giving her one.

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below-deck-recap

Last night’s Below Deck was all about frustration. Kate Chastain resurrects the Resting B*tch Face to combat her frustration over the shoddy work – and attitude – she’s perceiving from Sierra Storm and Emily Warburton-Adam. Meanwhile, Kelley Johnson does his best to quiet his ego as he adjusts to life with Nico Scholly’s new senior deckhand status. As opposed to Nico’s freshman deckhand behavior lately – which now includes blaming Kate for all of his self-inflicted problems aboard Valor! Lauren Burchnell is, of course, all too happy to blame Kate too. She’s #TeamNico, whether it makes sense or not. Sigh. I had such high hopes for Lauren early in the season. What happened to this girl in six short weeks?

We begin with Kate and Kelley bemoaning their separate fates. But Ben Robinson and Emily are celebrating theirs! After preserving Emily’s funeral bouquet for as long as humanly possible, Ben finally scored an adult sleepover ashore. From which he emerged giddier than ever. Kyle Dixon is also breathing a sigh of relief after his girlfriend Ashley took his sketchy Sierra news pretty well. Kyle better get it together for that patient girl because she is standing by his excuse-making arse even though he doesn’t deserve it. #TeamAshley

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Captain Lee

Though his blog this week isn’t quite as vitriolic as the past two, Captain Lee Rosbach is still less than pleased with the motley crew he’s saddled with for this season of Below Deck. Disappointed in Kelley Johnson, disgusted with Lauren Burchnell, and amused/confused by Ben Robinson, Lee hopes his crew can just hold it together for ONE last charter.

Lee begins, “I am not sure that I have had this many crew members so unfocused this late in the season. We seem to be shooting ourselves in the foot time and time again for no apparent reason. It is abundantly clear to me that some of this crew do not have their heads in the game, and this our most important guest to date, Mr. Dean Slover.” Ugh. No props to Slover, please!

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Below Deck sailed back into the choppy waters of Kyle Dixon‘s storyline last night, offering us a glimpse of his girlfriend, Ashley, when she came aboard Valor for a visit. (And got pitied by Sierra Storm.) Meanwhile, Kelley Johnson faces the wrath of Captain Lee Rosbach after botching a guest excursion – wrath that ultimately turns into a shakeup among the exterior crew’s ranks.

Kate Chastain also lives to regret setting Ben Robinson and Emily Warburton-Adam up when she realizes that their budding romance is interfering with work. But Ben and Emily are too smitten with each other to notice – or care! They’ve got gaudy bouquets of flowers to smell! They’ve got hashtags to perfect! #BemilyIsActuallyHappeningPeople #ImTotallySerious

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Kate Chastain

Season four of Below Deck has found Kate Chastain and Ben Robinson butting heads of late. Kate claims that it’s not sexual tension (left over from their previous romantic relationship), but simply work tension. It ia just how Ben and Kate operate, apparently!

Kate explains, “There was definitely still tension between Ben and I this season, but it definitely wasn’t sexual. I think the fact that we’re so comfortable with each other can be both a good and a bad thing when working on a boat together. Sometimes minor disagreements escalate into heated arguments quicker than they should because Ben and I don’t feel the need to politely hold back like we might with other crew members.”

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Below Deck recap

Before we get to last night’s Below Deck recap, I’d like to offer condolences to Nico Scholly and his family. Nico lost his younger brother Tristen this week, a devastating event that changes the lives of a family forever.

Nico was a big player in this week’s episode and, given the nature of the crew’s ongoing shenanigans, our RT snark fest will go on, business as usual, in the name of mindless fun we all enjoy. But my heart truly does go out to Nico during this turbulent time.

Okay. Onto the episode! Last night was a cluster of epic proportions.

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