Alright let's dive into this whole Real Housewives of Orange County reunion thing! We've got Memory Lapse Monday happening here because Tamra Barney is confusing this season's storyline with one from two years ago. Did her shock therapy malfunction? Yeppers, Gretchen Rossi is back in the hotseat for cheating on her deceased fiancé Jeff with another man. Nevermind that NO ONE CARES CAUSE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS FOR FOUR YEARS, we're rehashing it aaaagain.
So with that out of the way let's talk outfits. Gretchen is clearly bringing her little portable Barbie closet she had from childhood to the designer for Alexis Couture and asking for direct reproductions. All of her little girl dreams of sparkles, flounces, and seafoam fantasies are being brought to life. Seriously Gretchen is reliving my youth with that aquamarine number. I especially loved how she matched the side-weave to the one-sleeve.
Heather Dubrow's hair needs a deep conditioner and a good cut. Even though I'm sure Princess Champs On Ice probably pays $300 for a haircut, it looks like Gretchen played Barbies with Heather's head. Since Heather is the brown-hair Barbie friend Gretchen practiced "beauty school" with her locks. Result: fail.
While Vicki and Brooks' relationship appears to be as on-and-off as a light switch, Lauri is Waring wary that the couple's recent break-up may not be what it seems. She is speculating that the pair is using the story of a turbulent love affair to appease family and friends when they are actually quite happy together behind closed doors.
Say what? A housewife manipulating her relationship status to stay in the spotlight? Unheard of!
A few weeks agoBrooks Ayers tried to seek some attention and con Vicki Gunvalson back into loving him by spilling deets of their break-up on twitter. Vicki never actually confirmed or denied the relationship ending… until now!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star admits that her "love tank is empty" once again! “I‘m single now," Vickireveals to RadarOnline. "We have decided to remain friends but we have decided to move on and date other people.”
Perhaps Vicki's decision to end things with Brooks came after her business partner planned to sue her over one of Brooks' grifting schemes! “We came to the realization that it was harder to stay together than it was to be apart,” VIcki says of their relationship ending.
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County the battle in the blizzard continued. Vicki Gunvalson tried her darndest to ice out Lauri Peterson after she accused her of threesomes and cheating, but Lauri refused to be silenced. Until Vicki said she'd be her friend again; then Lauri perked up like someone handed her a latte and an AmEx.
Could it be that she thinks Vicki accepting her is her gateway drug back onto RHOC? Let's hope not unless she gets that wonky lip fixed. One would think Lauri froze her face to a -28 degree ice wall instead of Tamra Barney!
Things begin with Tamra, Vicki, and their eye makeup meeting for a pre-dinner pow-wow. Vicki is still reeling from her confrontation on the slopes and it obviously clouded her judgment because she was wearing an adults Muppet costume with furry sleeves. She boasted that they're removable, which is a good thing cause she can take them off for dinner so they don't dredge in her food. Fashion meet function, baby!
Yesterday the ladies squared off around Andy Cohen to scream, torture, and accuse each other while glammed to the hilt. I think the impossible costumes help keep them angry.
Heather Dubrow shared some photos of her reunion look on instagram. And Vicki Gunvalson had a little warning for nemesis Lauri Peterson, who of course made an appearance to defend her accusations. "It's go time @LaurifromRHOC !!"
Vicki summed up her experience with the following tweet:
I wonder if Brooks showed up? Or if they are still broken up?!
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was giving me flashbacks of the Bill Clinton trial. It was all a buncha semantics, except with Housewives mumbo-jumbo. "I did not say they were having sex, they were just in bed." "I didn't say it was a threesome" "I've never had multiple partners." "You have a different guest role on Malibu Country." Whatever the case: "Uh Oh! Somebody's lyyyyyying!" (Adrienne Maloof voice).
Lydia McLaughlin tried to take her new friends to her old country, Canada, for some good old fashion skiing fun at Whistler. Truly showing she's a sparkly-eyed, pixie winged novice for all things Housewives she predicted it would be drama free. Why? Did she think the negative temperatures would freeze their drama capacitors off? Nope, if anything the cold made them extra twitchy and jumpy and turned the trip into a true The Shining nightmare. Except Lydia was the only person trapped on the mountain and unable to escape.
Good thing Alexis Bellinogave Lydia a special, drama-debunking gift! Alexis has decided she'll come on the trip under one condition – she can carry a concealed weapon. A Swaorvski crystal studded bible! Alexis gives Lydia a matching bible. Um… I love these two; they truly are Jesus Barbie and her little sister Bible Skipper! I hope Barbie doesn't wear Alexis Couture to teach Sunday School.
The first caller asks 'how could Gretchen not think Lauri was insinuating a threesome?' Lauri defended herself, "I was very clear that when I walked into the room, they were just under the covers. I couldn't see what they were doing. It wasn't the first time, it was the second time, same people. I didn't want to say that it was a sexual relationship because I didn't know. So I made it very clear to her at the time. I wanted her to make sure that I wasn't positive."