Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was giving me flashbacks of the Bill Clinton trial. It was all a buncha semantics, except with Housewives mumbo-jumbo. "I did not say they were having sex, they were just in bed." "I didn't say it was a threesome" "I've never had multiple partners." "You have a different guest role on Malibu Country." Whatever the case: "Uh Oh! Somebody's lyyyyyying!" (Adrienne Maloof voice).
Lydia McLaughlin tried to take her new friends to her old country, Canada, for some good old fashion skiing fun at Whistler. Truly showing she's a sparkly-eyed, pixie winged novice for all things Housewives she predicted it would be drama free. Why? Did she think the negative temperatures would freeze their drama capacitors off? Nope, if anything the cold made them extra twitchy and jumpy and turned the trip into a true The Shining nightmare. Except Lydia was the only person trapped on the mountain and unable to escape.
Good thing Alexis Bellinogave Lydia a special, drama-debunking gift! Alexis has decided she'll come on the trip under one condition – she can carry a concealed weapon. A Swaorvski crystal studded bible! Alexis gives Lydia a matching bible. Um… I love these two; they truly are Jesus Barbie and her little sister Bible Skipper! I hope Barbie doesn't wear Alexis Couture to teach Sunday School.
The first caller asks 'how could Gretchen not think Lauri was insinuating a threesome?' Lauri defended herself, "I was very clear that when I walked into the room, they were just under the covers. I couldn't see what they were doing. It wasn't the first time, it was the second time, same people. I didn't want to say that it was a sexual relationship because I didn't know. So I made it very clear to her at the time. I wanted her to make sure that I wasn't positive."
And Heather does not condone drama among zillion dollar wedding gowns, pulling focus away from TAMRA'S DAY or lying about your professed acting gigs. So not kosher! Fancy Pants calls out several of the ladies of RHOC for forgetting their manners and for having trouble with the truth.
SoTamra Barney is once again on the warpath where Gretchen Rossi is concerned. Who is she going to phone at the reunion this year? Did she take the friendship bracelet back?
Of course Gretchen may not deserve Tamra's friendship after all the lies and manipulations she's been attempting to dish out this season, which is exactly what Tamra takes issue with in her latest Real Housewives of Orange County blog!
Tamrawrites aboutGretchen's ever-changing truths and point-blank calls her a liar with regard to Alexis Bellino being invited dress shopping and her alleged role on Malibu Country. Tamra also wonders about why Gretchen was so desperate for attention she tried to make bridal shopping all about her. Ummm… maybe because Gretch was supposed to get that wedding spinoff first?
A few beautiful wedding dresses can make anything better! Even a limo full of badly behaving Real Housewives of Orange County. Yep, I like even Tamra Barney better when she's all stuffed into a stunning white gown. Maybe because I can imagine the fabric drowning out her voice.
So last night was another infamous Tamra Starts Getting Married episode. After she decided to be the the bigger girl and invite Alexis Bellino to her ultimate special dress shopping extravaganza for trip down the aisle numero tres, friction between Gretchen Rossi who like totally thought she was the numero uno in importance, arose. Tamra no likey.
Tamra meets finace Eddie for dinner at their gym which is still basically an abandoned warehouse at this point and Tamra is wearing some sort of animal hide cape. Seriously – what was that thing Cruella DeVille? I thought Tamra only killed and skinned other housewives. Silence of the Implants!
How much fun was it to walk down memory lane with the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County? Lest we forget (as if she'd ever let us!) Vicki Gunvalson has been there since day one. I mean, hey, her kids are part of the reason that it even exists!
In her Bravo blog, Vicki attempts to come across as light-hearted, normal, and down-to-earth. She'd never spread gossip, and she's sad by broken friendships. Has she been watching the same ninety-nine episodes to which we've been treated? Vicki takes particular offense to former friend Lauri Peterson's return to stir the pot…something she's never done herself, right?
Ahh, the memories. Let's hear Vicki's take on it, shall we?
Last night the show celebrated its 100th episode with a 2-hour flashback/recap of some of the show's most iconic moments. Among the milestones was catching up with some of the memorable cast mates throughout the 8-season run and discussing current cast member's reflections to how the show has evolved.
Tamra Barney, you will be relieved to know, hasn't changed one single iota except her hair has gotten less frizzy and her boobs smaller. Thank God for small mercies… #sarcasm In her casting video Tamra is a grade-A bitch and says when producers told her they were deciding between her and one other woman for the spot she turned up the ruthlessness.
Celebrating 100 episodes of true craziness (and for being Housewives pioneers) all the old favorites from the seasons past of RHOC will return to talk shop, dish on behind-the-scenes details, and reveal top secret info we've all been dying to know. Such as, just how on earth did we get stuck with Slave Smiley?