First observation, there is an obscene amount of food on the table, including a buttery chocolate croissant. Of course! A viewer wants to know – when MJ talks down to someone and they get upset, she says they need thicker skin. But, when Mike tells MJ not to eat a buttery chocolate croissant, she goes fifty shades of crazy on him. MJ admits that she exploded BUT only because Mike's advice was unsolicited.
MJ adds, "I don't need a lesson about my body image – and I definitely do not need it from him because we're not sleeping together." Andy tells MJ to enjoy all the buttery chocolate croissants she wants during the reunion. MJ's three-sizes-too-small dress begs, please no!
To start the episode, GG meets up with her sister, mortal enemy, and business partner, Leila, to talk about GG's Extensions. They're not meeting with clients, per se, but they are on Bravo. Yet Leila looks like a drowned rat and GG looks like she just came from the gym. Neither are looks I'd strive for when promoting a hair product. Anyway, Leila brings up GG's fight with MJ at Del Mar, because it's been on her mind and totally concerns her. GG points out, if Leila would stop involving herself, she wouldn't be so put out. Leila believes MJ is innocent and GG is out of control. She talked to MJ, so, of course!
GG informs Leila that MJ phoned their mother, calling GG a slut whore bitch and vowing to never be in the same room with her for the rest of her life, on the way home from Del Mar. Leila admits this is news to her, but she adds, "Since forever your story and everybody else's story rarely is the same story."
First, Mike wakes up the morning after the Diamond Water party, and Jessica tells him it was a disaster. Mike admits he doesn't remember much of what happened at the party, but he says his friendship with Reza is important to him.
Asa invites MJ and GG to her house for lunch. Good news, MJ wears a real shirt over her corset. Bad news, it isn't long before she's falling out of it. Worse news, MJ's as annoying as ever. Season three MJ is such a disappointment to me. MJ brings Asa an orchid and she wears sunglasses. GG brings Asa an orchid and she wears sunglasses. So MJ complains about GG copying her. How could GG have known about MJ's orchid? And isn't it always sunny in CA? Anyway, lunch is awkward, but GG and MJ come to a truce. MJ admits using Leila to get to GG was crappy. GG thinks MJ's apology is lacking but accepts it.
This week's Shahs of Sunset was insane. Bravo gets the ick – MJ's sex tapes – out of the way first thing. We pay for this later.Mercedes "MJ" Javid seeks professional help to recover the missing files from her computer. She worries the young, hot computer guy will copy her sex tapes. He finds the files – not a cold chance in hell he enjoys it, let alone copies them.
Next,Mike Shouhed meets with old Vegas friends, Big Baller #1 and Big Baller #2. Their office building is nice and shiny but rather empty inside – much like their secretaries. The Ballers, who finance real estate deals, offer Mike a job as their broker. He promises to think about it, adding, "I want to show everybody a big middle finger, to the entire world and say, 'HAHAHA, I'm the richest.'"
Asa Soltan Rahmati meets with a party planner friend to go over details for the Diamond Water launch party. Not much to see here. She complains about the lack of gaudy gold accessories – yet the whiners on House Hunters never stop complaining about gold this, gold that – and requests a Diamond Water bottle ice sculpture. Asa also reveals she's planning a family reunion in Turkey.
Last night's episode of Shahs of Sunset was fairly uneventful. For me, it felt like a filler episode to set up the showdown betweenReza Farahan and Mike Shouhed on the next episode. Oh but Mercedes "MJ" Javid did do some of that pesky thing us regular folks call a job! I guess that's worth noting.
To kick things off, Reza and Adam Neely are off to the mall. Reza pokes fun at Sears and Nieman Marcus in the same mall – this coming from the man who has Louis Vuitton shoes and IKEA furnishings in the same apartment. As they walk through the mall, Reza and Adam talk about the menu for their upcoming housewarming party, and they just happen to come across a Beluga caviar vending machine – a small can of caviar costs $3500, cash only. First, gross. Second, no problem for Reza, who whips out a wad of $100s. Adam wants to know who carries around that kind of cash, Reza says immigrants! Reza gives Adam props for going with the flow, adding, "With a little more training, he could be the quintessential perfect Persian wife."
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi and Asa Soltan Rahmati take a Tai Chi class in the park. Asa thinks it'll be good for GG, who lacks impulse control. At the same time, GG tells us, "MJ makes me want to cut her t*ts off and bitch slap her with them." Tai Chi just makes GG horny. Better luck next time, Asa.
GG took to her Bravo blog to list all the reasons she's upset with MJ.
First, according to GG, MJ needs to "back the f–k off" her sister, Leila. "When Leila tells me that she and MJ are talking and hanging out all of the time, it makes my blood boil," said GG. "What the f–k is MJ trying to prove by hanging out with my sister? If she and I are not getting along, then she needs to stay far away from anything related to me."
As if two episodes of Shahs of Sunset in 48 hours isn't bad enough, this one kicks off withMercedes "MJ" Javid showing off her boobs. Thank goodness Bravo isn't broadcast in 3D. MJ says she's spent thousands of dollars trying to simultaneously keep her boobs under control, cinch her waist, and eliminate back fat – to no avail – so she has decided to design her own bra and shaping garment. MJ "shapes" the air right out her lungs, explaining, "I have the tiniest waist, it's just not being cinched properly." #delusional
Meanwhile, Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike Shouhed, although he has yet to propose. Mike and Jessica go through the motions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony during class, and Mike starts to sweat. Mike reminds us that he used to be the MVP of Vegas (Most Valuable Persian) and I think about the smug Shahs of Sunset tagline, "We don't work in buildings. We own buildings." Now? Mike rents bus wraps, so he needs to get over himself and put a ring on Jessica's finger before someone else does.