Last night's Dance Moms was a lesson in democracy. If I had to cast my ballot for most ridiculous dance teacher, Abby Lee Miller would certainly get my vote!
It's pyramid time, and MacKenzie is on the bottom followed by Brooke, who, according to Abby, needs to figure out if she really wants to be a dancer. Chloe is also on the lowest tier, with Abby blaming her for her trio placing second. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being part of the second loser trio. The last place spot in the middle of the pyramid goes to Maddie for—you guessed it!–being part of the trio. Paige is third on the pyramid because Kelly has gotten good at not sparring with Abby. Nia is in second place for flying under the radar. Newbie Asia graces the top of the pyramid.
A crying MacKenzie complains of feeling dizzy when Asia's name is announced, and Abby makes her sit out of the group number. Asia is MacKenzie's size equal, so with MacKenzie out, Abby is unsure as to whether she'll actually dance in the group dance which has the conservatives facing off against the liberals in a politically themed number. Both Asia and Maddie get solos. Abby mixes things up by adding Chloe into the solo competition. Maddie's solo is called "I'm Trying" while Chloe's is "Am I Here To Stay?" Nice double meanings there!
You never know which Abby Lee Miller you're going to get when you tune in to Dance Moms. Will she be nice? Excited? Motivational? Nah, she just loves stirring the pot, causing rifts between the mothers, and planning for the downfall of Cathy and her Candy Apples. Perhaps she'll throw in some taxidermy along the way…
We begin, as always, with pyramid time. Thankfully, the girls are coming off a big win at last week's competition. Abby switches it up by starting at the top…and Maddie is right back where she's always been. On the next rung is an excited Paige. Kendall joins Paige for being third, which, according to Abby, is better than second. Chloe is in the next spot even though she's been consistent with her top notch dancing. Nia is first on the bottom for flying under the radar. She's good, but not great. MacKenzie follows with Brooke who didn't dance last week…per Abby's orders. Abby shocks her troupes by adding Asia to the bottom of the pyramid as the newest team member. Asia competed on Abby's other show, and Abby warns the mothers about running off another mom.
This week, the dancers are heading to Michigan, and Cathy and her Candy Apples will be in attendance. The group number is called "Return to Grace," and it focuses on reincarnation. MacKenzie and Asia will be sitting out the group number. Kendall, Maddie, and Chloe will be dancing a jazz trio. Asia is gifted the only solo. As Abby works on the group number, the moms (especially Jill) are curious to see what the new mom will bring to the table.
Hey, y'all! Remember last week's Dance Moms when Abby Lee Miller was slightly supportive of her dancers? Yeah, that was short lived! Last night's episode had a bitter Abby back to wreck her talented troupe's self-esteem. Good times!
The girls and moms enter the studio, and Abby is actually happy and proud of the girls' performance at last week's competition. This week, the dancers are headed to compete in Michigan. During the pyramid, Brooke is on the bottom, and Abby is livid that she talked to Nia when she forgot her routine. Abby gets even angrier when Kelly laughs at her daughter's mishap, and she dismisses Brooke from for the competition. MacKenzie is also on the bottom for not resting her injured foot. Nia's outstanding Rosa Parks performance is also on th bottom, and all Abby can say is that Rosa herself would have been proud. So then why is she on the bottom? Kendall rounds out the bottom. Chloe and Paige are on second row for a winning duet. Maddie is on top, and Abby believes she deserves a standing ovation.
Kendall receives a solo, and Abby wants her to work on stamina. Chloe also gets a solo. She has the two run in place silently. Maddie will be dancing a duet with sister MacKenzie entitled "Run From Mother." The group routine is called "Gold Digga" but that is all the information that Abby is willing to give. Abby explains to the girls exactly what a gold digger is. In the viewing area, Melissa is sporting a wedding band and reveals that she was married the previous Monday in the dress the moms picked out for her. Kelly gushes that she was able to keep the secret given that Paige was in attendance at the ceremony. Melissa shares camera phone shots of the nuptials.
Another Tuesday, another two hour Dance Moms with Abby Lee Miller. In my opinion, last night's performances were out of this world, but I just can't take anything seriously when it comes to Kathy and her Candy Apples. She's playing a role…she has to be, right?
As the super-sized episode begins, the moms can only imagine how Abby is going to react to seventh place over all in the group number given how livid she gets when they get second. Not shockingly, MacKenzie is on the bottom for messing around on her "injured" foot, and Abby benches her for the upcoming competition. Paige and Brooke also land on the bottom for being good but not great. Abby doesn't think Brooke actually wants to dance. Chloe is called next, and Christi is determined to bite her tongue to make sure her daughter is able to keep dancing. Yet again, Maddie's eyes glass over with tears when she lands second to Kendall's new headshot. The moms, especially Holly, think Jill gets sneakier every week, but she doesn't dwell too long because she's estatic when Nia graces the top of the pyramid. Abby compares Nia to Beyonce and praises her facial expressions. I am so happy for Nia.
This week, the group will be competing in Cincinnati, and Abby is worried that Kathy and her Candy Apples will also be in attendance. The group routine it about Rosa Parks, and Holly hopes that Nia will get to play Rosa. Abby isn't giving out the lead role just yet, and she takes the opportunity to call out Holly's outfit. Kendall gets a solo, as does Maddie, but not before Abby can remind her that she keeps coming up short in her routines. Abby grants Paige the duet with Chloe that she's been wanting. She tells Paige she's been waiting for her to dance up to Chloe's level…and now, lucky for her, Chloe is dancing down to her level. Way to ruin the moment.
She's a screaming mess most of the time who likes to play drill sergeant with her pupils. Sometimes it seems that she spends more time at war with her dancer's mothers than actually teaching her girls how to dance. She tends to take great pleasure in trying to pit preteen girls against one another for the sake of healthy competition. Whoever could I be talking about? Y'all know! It's Abby Lee Miller of Lifetime's Dance Moms!
Abby has been repeatedly criticized for her questionable teaching methods, but she does appear to get results. Her dancers are incredibly talented. While she has never danced professionally, Abby started the Abby Lee Dance Company when she was just fourteen years old. That explains even more some of the history between her and Kelly!
Last night we were treated to two full hours of Abby Lee Miller and Lifetime's Dance Moms. Not only were social issues tackled, Melissa found a very blinged out wedding dress and Abby went on a date with a former stripper. Good times, y'all!
The girls are back in the studio, and Kelly is wearing her finest bondage attire. Abby isn't thrilled with all of the second place finishes, but she's much calmer than normal. She says that everyone needs to be knocked down a few pegs…even Maddie. Abby isn't going to yell this week, she just feels that clearly the girls don't want to be winners. It is what it is. Passive aggressive Abby is almost worse than screaming Abby! MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid for allowing eleven looming points to come between her and the dancer who placed in front of her. Nia is next, with Abby content on blaming the fact that Nia was sick…and therefore sloppy. An also sloppy Paige finishes out the bottom. Maddie is on the second tier for bobbling, and the poor girl fights back the tears. Kendall is one above Maddie thanks to Jill's cut throat tactics. Holly is quick to say that she'd rather have her daughter low on the pyramid than utilize Jill's dirty tricks. Brooke is on the top, and while Kelly is thrilled, Abby reminds her that she has a target on her back. A timid Chloe raises her hand to ask about her placement. Abby explains that Chloe is still suspended, and she hopes that Chloe will realize that her mother is her biggest enemy when it comes to dance. Good times!
The group dance is called "Don't Ask, Just Tell" and is based on the policy of gays in the military. That's some pretty heavy subject matter, right? Brooke, Kendall, and Maddie get solos. Abby dismisses the girls and calls the moms onto the dance floor. She decides to yell at them for wanting a sweet dance teacher instead of someone who creates winners. The mothers then give their daughters a pep talk in the hallway. Abby enlists the girls into a boot camp. She wants blood, sweat, and tears…literally!
In the viewing room, Melissa admits that she's been looking for honeymoon destinations. Christi notices that her friend is wearing a wedding band. Melissa dodges questions as to whether she's already married, and the women joke about times in the past that they've tried to help Melissa plan her wedding. Why bother…they aren't invited! The moms are confused as to why Abby chose this theme for the group dance. Christi thinks this is Abby's way of showing support for the gay community. Holly vocalizes that she doesn't find it fair that Jill was praised for her sneaky ways. The other moms tend to agree with Holly, and Jill makes loads of excuses for her behavior. She's no longer going to hide the fact she'll do whatever to get her daughter to the top.
Last week's Dance Moms was emotionally draining for Abby Lee Miller given the loss of her dog. This week it was nice to get back to the petty drama…especially if said drama includes Abby speed-dating and Jill getting thrown under the bus after trying to claw daughter Kendall's way into Abby's good graces. Jill, watch seasons past and learn. There is a definite protocol to being Abby's pet, and it's called being named "Maddie".
When the episode begins, Abby is glad that her girls won their most recent competition, but she's quick to remind them that it isn't their best performance. She rails on Chloe for deviating from the choreography in the group number. She unveils the pyramid, and Paige is on the bottom for being good but not great. Apparently she didn't dance with her face. Kendall joins her because she faded into the woodwork. Jill isn't happy with Abby's choice. Brooke rounds out the bottom for being the oldest who isn't standing out as a leader among the group. Nia is on the second rung…third on the pyramid to coincide with her third overall finish. Holly is proud. MacKenzie joins her. Not surprisingly, Maddie has found herself back on top yet again. This garners an eyeroll from Jill. Chloe doesn't even make the pyramid, and Christi bites her tongue.
This week, the troupe is heading to New Jersey. MacKenzie is still out of the group dance. Abby is bringing in a boy to compete with the girls. MacKenzie and Maddie both get solos. Kendall and Nia are granted a duet. I love seeing Nia getting some well-deserved props. Abby introduces Nick as the boy lead, and all his counterparts are squealing with excitement. Brooke will be the female lead. Aww, I see a prom date in their future! In the dance, Brooke is dying and Maddie is her daughter. Abby hopes that Maddie's facial expressions will carry the number. It's like a Les Mis situation minus the French Revolution. In the veiwing room, Christi waxes poetic about their girls finding their first love. That conversation quickly turns to introducing Abby to speed dating. This is going to be a great episode! Operation Find A Man For Abby commences. Jill wants to find a man for Abby in hopes of furthering Kendall's dance career.
Last night's Dance Moms had to have been one for the record books. Not only did it have the return of Black Patsy, but we got to see Abby Lee Miller express emotions other than hatred or favoritism. I didn't know she had it in her!
The episode begins as the girls and moms convene in the studio, but Abby is missing. She arrives late and explains to everyone that her dog Baby has passed away. Abby fights through the tears to remind her troupe that this week they will be competing in St. Louis. The girls are visibly saddened to see their teacher so upset. Pets are family members, so my heart goes out to Abby. Losing a pet is devastating. Abby quickly runs through the pyramid. Paige is on the bottom for her apparent lack of confidence. Brooke joins her for only scoring fifth. MacKenzie rounds out the lowest level. Kendall is on the second rung, along with Nia whose facial expressions garner praise from Abby. Maddie seems to have once again secured a permanent residence in the top spot.
The group number will have some ballet choreography, and MacKenzie is once again out of the dance. Abby touts the piece as an epic love story, and she hopes she'll be able to escape into the fantasy of the dance to forget about the loss of Baby. Nia is given a solo, and Holly is over the moon for her daughter. Maddie will also be dancing a solo. Abby reminds the girls that St. Louis is the home of Nicaya, who is the daughter of blink-and-you-missed-her-but-man-was-she-sassy-putting-the-crazies-in-their-place Black Patsy. Abby pleads with the moms to be on their best drama-free behavior. Good luck with that!