Lisa Vanderpump

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap

Last night, the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills wrapped up their trip to Dubai and Lisa Rinna had an epiphany: she’s not gonna become the collateral damage of two narcissists with queen complexes, also known as Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda Foster. Lipsa has diagnosed and labeled them as “hating each other” (medical name haterificaious bitcheria). There we have it – Lipsa has solved the mystery of whodunnit with the Munchausen in the Kyle Konservatory with the ulterior motive.

Our first clue that nothing is going well – the ladies can’t manage to enjoy 5-star shopping without bitching. Just buy shoes and shhhhhh! In a mall that engulfs the Mall Of America, then spits it out, chewed up and mangled, onto its ice rink, the 5-story mall of Dubai chauffeurs them around from luxury store to luxury store in Bentley golf carts. There goes LVP‘s cardio!

Lipsa wore her walking sneakers, unnecessarily. She had to put them to good use though, because – ugh, comfort shoes! – so she decided to walk all over the friendship of LVP!

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Kyle Richards and Sonja Morgan

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards and The Real Housewives of New York star Sonja Morgan are guests on WWHL tonight.

About Kyle “finding out” Lisa Vanderpump tried to throw her under a bus over the Munchausen drama, she shares, “I didn’t just find out anything. This is something that happened months ago. I dealt with it in the moment. When Lisa Rinna brought it up, I said, ‘I’ve already dealt with this and we talked about this and it’s over. I don’t want to be brought into this. If you have an issue with it, that’s your thing. I have moved on. Lisa and I are in a good place and I want to stay there.'”

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James Kennedy Vanderpump Rules Reunion

On part 3 of the Vanderpump Rules reunion, James Kennedy gave out “ass holes” galore. Most of them deserved. Although James calling anyone an asshole is the very definition of “irony” – look it up in the Bravo Dictionary! Far from being The White Kanye West, James is more accurately the less stupidly-haired Donald Trump

Alas, before James opens his can of asshole with the index finger of doom, Stassi Schroeder argues with Lisa Vanderpump about her sex tape. Did we ever figure out why the hell Stassi Does Dildos is only worth $900? Honestly I would expect it to be more like $9.99 clearance, but I mean, whatever whets your whistle! Stassi accuses Lisa of asking her parents to repay the money, and is furious Lisa didn’t demand Stassi’s”ex-boyfriend” sign a contract after getting paid, nor did LVP get the footage back. Exactly what was Stassi doing while Lisa was combing the slums of Beverly Hills like an Archer episode to recon a sex tape absolutely no one but Scheana Marie wanted to watch? 

No one cares about Stassi and her sex tape, (except for Kristen Doute, who keeps trying to interrupt until Lisa instructs her to “shut up”).

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Erika Girardi in Dubai

So, Dubai…that looks like an amazing place to go, right? I’m sure it is, but its beauty and ridiculously amazing opulence was overshadowed on this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills by a four-letter-word: LISA. Am I referring to Lisa Vanderpump or Lisa Rinna? To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure.

All season, Rinna’s overly plumped lips have been talking about Munchausen and Yolanda Foster. She’s tired of being the scapegoat. No, she’s not tired, she enraged. And then there’s Lisa Vanderpump, or LVP as she’s been newly dubbed this season (I blame newbie Kathryn Edwards). The all-around fan favorite has been relegated to the group villain thanks to editing and an inability to apologize for whatever her co-stars think is deserving of an apology. Erika Girardi has her own opinions.

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Kathryn Edwards blog

If I were asked to choose which of the two Real Housewives of Beverly Hills newbies to keep, Kathryn Edwards wins, hands down. I’ve especially enjoyed Kathryn‘s blogs throughout the season, and this week is no different. She breaks down the drama in Dubai objectively and calls out her co-stars on their messiness without being nasty.

About Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson‘s discussion about the word enraged, Kathryn observes, “Eileen tells Lisa R that Erika didn’t like the word ‘enraged’ and Eileen, rightfully in my opinion, says that she thinks the word was a bit big for the actual feeling with regard to Yolanda [Foster] having lunch with Kim and Brandi. Eileen decides that the word ‘upset’ is more suited to what Lisa R was actually feeling. Clearly, Lisa R is colorful, she talks with highly descriptive words that sound bigger than the actual situation or moment requires, but that is who she is. We all know that.”

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Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards in Dubai

Remember the beginning of the season when all the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills were friends and it was all kinds of sparkly fabulous? Then, Yolanda Foster‘s Lyme disease nonsense turned the show more negative than the presidential election, and at this point, Lisa Vanderpump has had it! She’s had it with Lisa Rinna‘s mudslinging and backtracking, Eileen Davidson‘s snarling, and talking about Lyme Disease in general. Aren’t we all! 

LVP is now making some diagnoses of her own. She ascertains that Lipsa suffers from “rage and regret syndrome,” meaning she “gets easily carried away then thinks later.” YES! YES! YES!

“Dubai was an awful experience…apart from the sea lion party and dressing in our MOO moos, it was pretty damn negative,” laments Lisa

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Eileen Davidson blog

So far, Eileen Davidson isn’t happy with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills trip to Dubai, namely Lisa Vanderpump‘s failure to confess her sins, and Eileen took to her blog to promise she’ll “come down harder” until everyone is as miserable as she is she gets the outcomes she wants. Wait, remind me, who is the manipulator in this scenario?!?

Eileen complains that it took until their Arabian Nights dinner for Lisa Rinna to confront Lisa Vanderpump about the Munchausen drama. (I mean… how dare they travel 17 hours and then waste time sight seeing and having fun!)

“On the trip to Dubai, the one thing that Lisa R was not talking about was the bombshell she dropped at the beach back home about Lisa V,” blogs Eileen. “During our Arabian Nights dinner, Lisa R finally confronted Lisa V about what happened the day Munchausen was brought up for the first time: Lisa V ran after Lisa R and asked her ‘Why didn’t you bring Kyle [Richards] into it?’ Lisa V denied the whole thing, which was extremely frustrating for Lisa R.”

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RHOBH in Dubai

You guys Lisa Rinna has to talk about something. She reallyreallyreallyreally has to get something off her chest, clear the air, and discuss this reallyreallyreally important thing that’s been weighing heavily on her and like bothering her lately and she just really has to put it out there and like f–king own it. So the ladies of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills flew across the world to deal with the diarrhea of Lipsa’s giant lips. 

But seriously – what the hell was going on last night?! They’re in Dubai, so it’s already another world, but this quickly became Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Except in this case, it’s actually all of us falling down the giant gaping hole of Lipsa’s mouth, which is directly linked her to her giant gaping makes no sense (OMG WHY IS ERIKA GIRARDI‘S BRAID A GIANT CATERPILLAR EATING HER HEAD IN THE DESERT) thought process. I’d blame hookahs, but um… well she brought the crazy with her from California. I hope it isn’t catching. Like Lyme! 

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