Lisa Vanderpump

Tom tries to smother Katie with love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, esteemed Reality Tea readers! To demonstrate how much I love you all, here is a gushing, love-filled recap of Vanderpump Rules. Last night, we found ourselves dealing with stinky situations in the city of saints, sinners, and voodoo. No, it was not corpses escaping their graves in a zombie apocalypse, it was just more Tequila Katie.

As always, the three-headed shebeast proceeded to terrorize the menfolk in a manner befitting of epic trilogies from the ancient years before cell phones could take photos and people were able to communicate with only the push of tiny buttons. What I’m saying is that Tom 2 is on his own Odyssey, charting a territory only tepidly paved by Tom 1‘s Iliad before him (that would be surviving Kristen Doute). I can’t compare Jax Taylor to anything other than Dr. Jackhole and Mr. Jax’d. He writes his own unsavory story – warts and all.

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The reality stars (past and present) were out in force to attend OK! Magazine’s Pre-Grammy party. The event brought together some unlikely pairings, including Brandi Glanville and once-nemesis Scheana Marie, who hung out on a couch with Carlton Gebbia and Lala Kent. Brandi also publicly debuted her boyfriend, DJ Friese.

Also out for the big bash: Lisa Vanderpump and Little Women: LA star Terra Jole.  Several of Lisa’s SUR minions (past and present) were there, too: Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix, and James Kennedy.

Others pictured below: Courtney Stodden (fresh off a split from Doug!), Amina Buddafly, Althea Heart, Abby Lee Miller and more! Check out the gallery and tell us who is the biggest fashion disaster of the night?

Real Housewives Story Lines

Judge me if you must but I have to keep it real when I admit that I’ve seen every single Real Housewives episode multiple times. With that said, I cannot help favoring some story lines over others – the Real Housewives story lines that got dragged out way longer than they ever should have.

Some of these plot lines were juicy at first, but just got beat to the ground. Then there are other things that happened that none of us cared about, yet they got dragged out for two or more seasons. Either way, there are plenty of story lines that did more than outstay their welcome.

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lisa-eden

Lisa Vanderpump has remained on the outside of the drama so far this season on Real Housewives of Beverly. Something I’m sure she’s grateful for after being the center of it all last time around. So far this season she’s standing firm in her support of Kyle Richards and is now a little glad that we’re all going to see the real Lisa Rinna.

Lisa starts off a bit gleeful over the tides turning, “Mmmm, so things are changing rapidly in the hills of Beverly… But the more things change, maybe the more they stay the same.  Last year was extraordinarily difficult as I battled and endured the wrath from ED and LR over a conversation that had happened many months prior between LR and myself, a conversation that was the catalyst for the vitriol that emerged. But she was stalwart in her opinion that her recollection was accurate to a tee, emphatic as she tried to drag my character through the dirt. Her recollecting skills aren’t as accurate as she maintains, clearly.”

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Vanderpump Rules

One of my favorite thing about the start of new Real Housewives seasons is the revelation of the stars tag lines in the show introductions. It sets the tone for the season and hints at what we can expect from the cast members. That’s why I wish the Vanderpump Rules cast had tag lines each season.

Unfortunately, I have zero power at Bravo, but I put a lot of thought into this and came up with some ideas in case Andy Cohen, or whoever else is important at the network, wants to borrow some of my words for inspiration.

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Eden makes shocking revelations

When Eden Sassoon rolled the dice by confessing secrets to Lisa Vanderpump this week on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, she won big. At least, that is how she sees it. After sharing information that Lisa Rinna had given her about Kim Richards being “mostly sober” and “this close to dying,” Eden feels like the group may understand her meddling a bit better now. (But, let’s get real: It was still intrusive and creepy as hell!)

Eden explains, “It was very important that I had that lunch with Vanderpump. She told me straight up that I should not mess with her friend Kyle [Richards]. I respected that and her so much! I didn’t have a chance to tell anyone about what Lisa Rinna had told me. Well maybe it was that I didn’t want to make the situation worse for Rinna, because I didn’t want to be gossiping about my ‘friend.’ But when I saw what Rinna was doing to me, you know, pretending like she didn’t tell me that ‘Kim is near death,’ not defending me in any situation with Kyle and Kim, and acting like I was obsessed with Kim’s sobriety, I had to speak the #TRUTH.”

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Lisa Vanderpump officiated Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz's wedding

Sometimes I get a little caught up as a super fan and forget that Vanderpump Rules and Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR restaurant are not always one in the same. There are plenty of SUR employees that don’t get any air time on the Bravo show. Nevertheless, I can’t help my association, and my mind was racing when I saw LVP looking for SUR employees on Twitter.

Is this Lisa’s way of trying to shake things up on her (second) reality show? I mean, I know Lisa’s restaurants have managers and other people who could interview potential employees, so it just seemed a little out of left field for the big boss to tweet about wanting new waitresses and bartenders.

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Kyle in Mexico

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, newbie Eden Sassoon wised up, and Lisa Rinna‘s little “words of wisdom” came back to haunt her.

Lipsa may have been having a “mad moment” when she told Eden all about Kim Richards‘ very non-sober life (allegedly!), but Eden remembered every single word, which propelled her annoying badgering of the Twisted Sisters Richards about needing her help. Eden, tired of being hung out to dry in the cold whipping winds of Housewives, came to pay her respect to the queen, Lisa Vanderpump, beseeching her to advocate on her behalf.

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